I Want My Ex-Girlfriend of 3 Years Back

Me and my girlfriend dated for 3 years. When we first started dating i was 20 and she was 17, now I’m 23 and she’s 20. Halloween would have been our 3 year anniversary, but we got in a fight in late September and mutually agreed to take a break.

We knew each other for years before we started dating, and we were head over heels for each other at the beginning of the relationship. Things were never awkward with us and we could talk openly about anything. It was very easy to joke around and be sarcastic with one another which sometimes led to to petty arguments but we always loved each other through all of the little fights and worked things out. She also took my virginity a couple months after we started dating. She told me she had been in love with me for years, and recently we had been talking a lot about getting married and spending our lives together.

She definitely put more effort into the relationship. I deal with some anxiety and depression issues, and she was always there to listen to me and try to make me feel better. She would bring me food, write me encouraging notes telling me how much she loved me and how proud of me she was, and she was there whenever i needed her.

It got to the point where when i was feeling down i started to get annoyed with her constant presence and cheerful attitude, when in reality she just wanted to be there for me and show me that she loved me. I started to question whether i really wanted to spend my life with her because there would be days when she would annoy me so much and i just wanted to be alone. All she wanted to do was to be there for me and i took that for granted.

Because of myself becoming annoyed and more and more petty arguments, i really was unsure know if i wanted to be with her, but we always seemed to work through it, and deep in my heart i knew that i would be lucky to spend my life with her, no matter how bad i was feeling.

When i was unsure about how i felt about her or our future i would text other girls. Never anything physical, just texting and flirting with other girls. She found out about this a few times and was extremely hurt, but she forgave me because she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me.

At the time, i believed that us taking a break after that fight in September really was the best thing, we had been arguing a lot and i wasn’t sure if we were going to be able to make it work. I felt very confident after the breakup, it felt good to be single and free and being able to spend more time with friends, although i did miss her. A couple weeks after the breakup, she started calling me and texting me inviting me to things or asking me to meet her and talk to her, but i was still feeling confident about our decision so i didn’t.

I did miss her, and one weekend she convinced me to go to my sister’s house with her to hangout, watch football, drink, etc. She told me she missed us, and that i looked good, and that she had even been on a couple dates, but they weren’t anything serious and she thought about me the entire time. We had a really good night and even slept together (no sex, just cuddled). Things seemed to be looking up for us that night, and I realized how much she meant to me and that i really did love her and wanted to spend my life with her.

We kept in contact over the next week, not much but a few friendly texts here and there. The following Saturday i texted her telling her that day had been a year since we met one of our favorite artists after a concert in Nashville, to which she didn’t respond. I called her that night and she answered and asked if i needed something. I thought this was bizarre, and i told her i just wanted to talk to her, but she told me she was on a date, which hurt.

The next couple of weeks i tried texting her and calling her and opening my heart telling her how i felt, but she was distant and said she needed space. I convinced her to get dinner with me one night and i laid everything on the table, but she was cold and distant and didn’t have much to say, just that she still needed space. She also told me that she had been hurt by me and that there had been a lot of fighting, and she just wasn’t sure if we could make it work.

I continued to try and let her know how i felt, to which she wouldn’t respond or she would just tell me to stop because she needed space. So i finally obliged and gave her the space she wanted hoping we could work through it like we always had in the past.

I got on Facebook about a week and a half ago and saw that she was in a relationship with some guy i didn’t know. I was completely crushed. So many emotions at once, but mainly just confused and heartbroken. The girl who was so in love with me was in a relationship barely even a month after we had broken up.

The new boyfriend is from here as well, and she was set up with him by one of her friends. They only went on a few dates before becoming Facebook official, and he’s also in the Air Force so right after they became official he had to move to Alaska. I’m not sure how long he’ll be there or when he’s coming home, but i guess they’re doing long distance right now.

It hurts a lot right now because we were so in love, through the good and the bad. She loved me unconditionally, was always there for me, and she always said i was the only person she wanted to spend her life with. Now after we’ve barely been broken up for a month, and i thought things were looking up for us, she’s with someone else. She was also extremely close with my family and loved them to death. She fit into our family like a perfect puzzle piece and they took her in as one of their own. I was very close with her family too, but not nearly as close as she was with mine. She did everything with us, and now she’s just gone.

She actually messaged me this past Monday night asking me if i could bring her dogs medicine to her that she left at my house, so i did. She came out to get it and we stood in her driveway and talked for a little bit. She said i looked good, and asked how my family was doing. I told her they were good and that they miss her and ask about her a lot. She started crying, saying how hard this was for her. I asked her if she still saw a future with us, and she said she didn’t know, but that she would always love me. I tried to hug her before i left but she didn’t want to, so i respected her wish. That was the last time i saw her.

She has since blocked me on everything, including my phone number, so i couldn’t reach out to her if i wanted to. This is just very hard knowing that i lost such a good thing, and that i may never get another chance to show her how important she is to me. Someone who my family absolutely adored, gone just like that.

She’s all i think about and i miss her so much. Knowing she’s right down the road from me, but she has a boyfriend who’s in Alaska right now. I truly want her to be happy, even if it’s not with me because i care about her so much, but I’m hoping and praying for a miracle to show her how i feel, and that I’m still the man she fell in love with.

I can’t get the image of her marrying this guy out of my head, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I wake up in the middle of the night and it’s the first thing on my mind, and it usually lasts throughout the day too. I can’t sleep well at all, i don’t have an appetite, and the days seem incredibly long. I just want things to be back to normal when we were in love.

Thanks for listening guys. Any tips, advice, or words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.

This is all very recent. And you've been in contact with her, which hasnt allowed you to move forward.

She made it clear, all you can do is respect her wishes. I know it hurts, I'm sorry.

It's a fresh breakup, so it's going to take time. The usual advice, stay no contact, workout regularly, spend time with friends and family, find other things to focus on - work, school, other things you want to achieve. I won't tell you its going to be easy but you can and will get through it, and take the lessons you learned in this relationship and be determined not to repeat the same destructive behaviors. If you struggle with depression/anxiety this is a good time to get on top of that issue. Your appetite will return eventually but make sure you are getting some kind of nourishment each day. Heartache sucks...sorry you're going through it.