How to end things with him

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is actually a selfish jerk. He texts me from morning to night all about himself. He doesn’t even say good morning. If he texts me at all in the morning I’ll wake up to a text that says something like “today is a great morning at work” or “it’s gonna be a long day”. And he never bothers to ask about me or my day. Also, he constantly insults me and hurts my feelings but then when I tell him he’s hurting my feelings he’ll say he’s joking. His “jokes” are highly offensive and I’ve told him this several times but he continues to do so. I asked him to come over and spend thanksgiving day with my family since we are both off and he said “no, I’m not doing a family thing. If I wanted to do that I’d go to my own family’s house.” He’s sitting in his apartment alone on thanksgiving and refuses to come over. He told me he plans to buy a house alone soon, meaning I’m not included in those plans. He also gets almost blackout drunk every weekend and he’s very mean to me when he’s drunk. Last weekend he went to some bar without me and then texted me the next afternoon after asking if he was ok since I hadn’t heard from him, and told me he had no memory of the night before or even how he got home. He never talks about a future with me and whenever I mention a future he blows it off or makes some sarcastic remark. Today he randomly texted me and said I’m mean because I don’t do things for him like clean his car, bring him food, or do his laundry (he lives an hour and a half away). He constantly hurts my feelings and is unbelievably selfish. How to I end things with him? He’s mean to me through text so should I just text him?

How do you end things? Decline his next date invitation. And then decline again. Tell him that you don't think you are right for eachother and would not like to go out again.

This guy needs to be ghosted! Just block him.

I wouldn't even wait to decline.

I'd just text him, or call him, in the next day or so and tell him that you wish him well, but that things will not work out between you two. If he texts back something mean, then you don't answer, and you block and delete. If he texts back with an honest question why, then you can answer.

Tell him you are done, you don't even need to dignify doing it in person.

This guy needs to be ghosted! Just block him.

No, don't ghost. Everyone deserves an opportunity to be told (kindly) what they have done to offend another person in a relationship so that they can learn from their mistake (unless the misdemeanour was particularly serious)

I would send him a text saying "I've really enjoyed getting to know you, but I have to admit that even as a joke your sexist remarks offend me. I also feel that there is not a good amount of emotional compatibility between us and a number of things we don't see eye to eye on. I don't honestly think we're a good fit and I don't think we should continue seeing each other"

If he says anything rude back then yes, ghost or block

He kinda sounds like a douche, but you're expecting way too much from someone you've only dated TWO months??

Why would he be discussing buying a house with you (that's crazy) and obviously talking about the future generally takes more time.

It's been two months, not a year, chill.

But break up with him, he shouldn't be making you feel so crap and insulting you =_=.

^ That text is quite long winded. She can just say she thinks it's time for them to see other people. That she doesn't feel they're a good match.

Easy.

He kinda sounds like a douche, but you're expecting way too much from someone you've only dated TWO months??

Why would he be discussing buying a house with you (that's crazy) and obviously talking about the future generally takes more time.

 

It's been two months, not a year, chill.

 

But break up with him, he shouldn't be making you feel so crap and insulting you =_=.

 

^ That text is quite long winded. She can just say she thinks it's time for them to see other people. That she doesn't feel they're a good match.

 

Easy.

I see what you mean that it’s only been 2 months, and I wouldn’t want to buy a house with him now anyway. However, a month ago he was the one saying he can’t wait to live with me and that he wants to look for an apartment together closer to me. Now all of the sudden he’s looking at houses to buy for himself that are still located an hour and a half away and says he wants to live alone. I just thought the sudden change of his mind was strange.

keep it friendly. just be busy a lot. and just wean him off slowly.

Tell him straight up, and (one time only) that it's not working for you. Get right to the point, don't sugar coat, don't drag it out...end of story.

^ I agree with heartgoeson.

Be direct and to the point and keep it short.

Another agree with Heart. Be honest, be straight forward and tell him it's not going to work. Don't drag it out and don't let him try to get you into an argument or long explanations on why it might work.

Just tell him no and keep it simple and short.

No, don't ghost. Everyone deserves an opportunity to be told (kindly) what they have done to offend another person in a relationship so that they can learn from their mistake (unless the misdemeanour was particularly serious)

I couldn't agree with this more ..... how many people come on this forum in pieces , wondering , bewildered , their confidence shattered , all because another cannot be bothered or have the respect or kindness to actually just end it .

It is cruel to encourage anyone to ghost another person .

You say it and you mean it and leave no room for any miscommunication and then move on ...IF , that person persists then the usual blocking etc .

I couldn't agree with this more ..... how many people come on this forum in pieces , wondering , bewildered , their confidence shattered , all because another cannot be bothered or have the respect or kindness to actually just end it .

 

It is cruel to encourage anyone to ghost another person .

 

I wouldn't normally encourage it, but look at his behavior.

He's an world class douche. End of story.

She doesn't deserve what he does.

It's been two months. And he most likely won't care, because if he did, he wouldn't act the way he does.

Ghosting is cruel, but in this case, he will know why. He's mean to her in text, in person, pfffttttt.....

Respect gets respect. He has no idea what that is.

 

You say it and you mean it and leave no room for any miscommunication and then move on ...IF , that person persists then the usual blocking etc

Thanks everyone. I’ve never been treated so poorly in a relationship, and I’ve had some pretty unhappy relationships. I’m gonna text him today and just say we don’t see eye to on a number of things and I don’t feel respected so it’s not working for me.

This guy sounds like a real peach. Why are you with him again?

He also gets almost blackout drunk every weekend and he’s very mean to me when he’s drunk

Have you ever heard the expression In Vino Veritas? People find it much harder to mask their true nature / sentiments. He's revealing his true nature to you (even more than he already does!) when drunk.

This guy needs to be ghosted! Just block him.

Never, ever, do this to anyone. It's cowardice of the highest order. By all means ignore him till his next contact if you must, but YOU text him to tell him it's over as he's not right for you. You don't have to go into explanations. THEN block him on EVERYTHING.

Take the first step to a more healthy respectable you x

Hi,

I once dated a guy that sounds just like this. I didn't ghost I told him flat out he wasn't for me. The only reason I blocked him was because he sent me eight emails the next morning. He even came to my house when I wasn't home expecting my dad to let him in. So be aware that this guy with as big an ego he has will try to get you back. Be firm at that point.

So just tell him this isn't working and leave it at that, you don't owe an explanation!

Well I ended it this morning. I told him it’s not working out and that I feel hurt and offended by the things he says and that he doesn’t take my feelings into consideration. And he responded with “ok”.

I wouldn't normally encourage it, but look at his behavior.

He's an world class douche. End of story.

She doesn't deserve what he does.

It's been two months. And he most likely won't care, because if he did, he wouldn't act the way he does.

Ghosting is cruel, but in this case, he will know why. He's mean to her in text, in person, pfffttttt.....

Respect gets respect. He has no idea what that is.

You say it and you mean it and leave no room for any miscommunication and then move on ...IF , that person persists then the usual blocking etc

and you think ghosting solves it .... she could have left her self wide open for harassment as he has no idea what is going on regardless of his * charming personality ...I stand by my post ...my words and my thoughts ...

well done op for ending it , for telling him , now there is no room for any miscommunication because he now knows how you feel .

Well I ended it this morning. I told him it’s not working out and that I feel hurt and offended by the things he says and that he doesn’t take my feelings into consideration. And he responded with “ok”.

That was anti-climactic! I am so glad it was a drama-free ending for you. Onwards and upwards. It feels good, doesn't it?

and you think ghosting solves it .... she could have left her self wide open for harassment as he has no idea what is going on regardless of his * charming personality ...I stand by my post ...my words and my thoughts ...

 

 

well done op for ending it , for telling him , now there is no room for any miscommunication because he now knows how you feel .

Agree to disagree , I stand by mine also

So he’s been texting me all day today, saying he misses me and begging for another chance. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen because now I’m starting to feel bad and am unsure how to handle it. He’s asking me how I could be ok with the split if I love him, even though all he said when I initially broke up with him was “ok”

If you're truly serious about ending it, you'll find a way to end all contact, if not, you'll find an excuse. This is not meant to sound offensive as it's all in your hands, and it's either pay now, or pay later...so to speak.

Choose wisely...

So he’s been texting me all day today, saying he misses me and begging for another chance. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen because now I’m starting to feel bad and am unsure how to handle it. He’s asking me how I could be ok with the split if I love him, even though all he said when I initially broke up with him was “ok”

See, and here it is. Guys with the behavior he exhibited towards you are always gonna do this.

Saw this coming, which is why I said what I did previous. Block, delete, move on. He's going to try to manipulate you into

feeling guilty, which is working, and you'll end up right back where you were before.

You deserve so much better than a guy who treated you with zero respect.

I can almost predict this. You say sorry, take him back, and he will dump you.

Be strong here. You owe him nothing after what he's done to you.

So he’s been texting me all day today, saying he misses me and begging for another chance. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen because now I’m starting to feel bad and am unsure how to handle it. He’s asking me how I could be ok with the split if I love him, even though all he said when I initially broke up with him was “ok”

Just block him ...believe me you did the right thing in telling him it was over ... now block his ass on everything ..you did your bit and if you hadn't told him he would be harassing you even more .