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What eNotAlone gave you?


firelily

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I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what way?

 

Sometimes as I write a response here and think "dammit... I should listen to that advice myself!". I had already a couple of revelations, especially when talking to people about self-respect and putting your own needs first. But sometimes I also realize my own past selfishness from another perspective that I was blind to. In this way it works for me like a group therapy - but better, cause it's written and you can always go back to it! When individual therapy fails because it's hard to make changes, it helps to see other people struggle with the same thing.

 

So maybe you first looked here for some advice, but stayed, because you found being a part of community still serving your growth more than just asking questions?

 

Or did you look for opportunity to give advice online because you're in a help profession yourself and needed some practice?

 

Or maybe you spent so many hours scrolling through cat pictures that you decided to do something more productive with your Internet time?

 

What was your story, motivation to join and stay in this community, and what did it offer you?

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After my divorce in 2000, I became self help book junkie and went to therapy every week. I discovered I was literally in the dark regarding interpersonal relationships and personal self growth. It's been a very long and very rewarding road. But to this day it's always still a work in progress.

 

Years ago I participated in a women's forum that helped me at the time, tremendously. I'd like to think that I can extend my hand to someone who needs it in return. Pay it forward, I suppose.

 

Fast forward, several years later I went back looking for the women's forum and instead found ENA. I still learn so much by reading other peoples stories. I can measure my own growth by relating to others who act out in the same way I might have in the past. (or still do today, ha) It's good to see how far I've come.

 

I've been participating here since 2014 and if I were to go back to some of my original posts, they are pretty cringe worthy. lol So whether it's relating to someone else's story, giving advise or asking questions, it feels like continual growth for me. Either that or free therapy

 

It's rewarding when someone comes here under duress and can't seem to get out of the own way. But from the generosity of others giving of their time, some people do find their way out of some pretty serious situations and are able to turn things around.

 

All in all pretty fascinating to me at the same time.

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I think I would have wasted away had I not come here ..3 days before Christmas ..it/you/this ...got me through

 

my daughter found her father on facebook and my ena friends helped me do this all the right way ..them meeting up etc

 

I lost my beautiful mum ..I came here ...a lot has happened in my 6 years .

You are one of the most beautiful and authentic souls here. ❤️

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It's like having a whole family of people who just get me, I come and go and the ENA community is always here to support, advise, disagree, share and laugh with.

 

Love the light hearted banter too...

 

You're an ok bunch of people you make me smile a lot, and I hope I offer the same.

 

Kia Kaha Beautiful People (stay strong)

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Peace, acceptance, growth, compassion, understanding, slow to anger and quick to forgive (most people), perspective, slow to judge before knowing ALL the facts, knowledge I didn't even know was out there, caring and being able to empathize so much more.

 

I am not the man I was when I landed here all those years ago. Sure I had all of the above traits but not to the level I do now and many I didn't know how to use properly.

 

Paying it forward has been a big part of my entire life and I often request it of people I help in real life when they ask what they can do to repay me and so I do that here as much as possible when I feel I have something to contribute that might help a little.

 

I mentioned this earlier in a thread but we all need to be thankful to those that work behind the screens to keep this forum running so smoothly. Be sure to thank them when you get a chance.

 

Lost

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I first found ENA after a breakup and found that giving advice helped me more than getting advice. I stopped for a few years but came back again recently just to rejoin the community and give whatever advice I can.

 

And to be honest, helping people with their relationship problems, keeps me going along the no relationship path that I have travelled these last few years.

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It's like having a whole family of people who just get me, I come and go and the ENA community is always here to support, advise, disagree, share and laugh with.

 

Love the light hearted banter too...

 

You're an ok bunch of people you make me smile a lot, and I hope I offer the same.

 

Kia Kaha Beautiful People (stay strong)

 

Nice to see fellow Kiwis on here too.

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I came here a few years ago after a breakup - and found the community to be helpful, supportive for the most part, and a good place to ask questions and get honest answers/opinions. I'm a very different person than when I arrived, and it's definitely in a positive way, I've grown so much. In part, I believe reading the stories and the advice/comments here helped me to achieve growth. ENA is a community, and I do believe we can learn from each other, and help each other. Long after I'd healed from the breakup (I never look back, haha, cringe-worthy times lol) I stayed around for the interesting stories, personalities, and explored other forum topics like career, health/fitness, etc. I also like the journals, and I have made a few friends IRL - but there are more I'd like to meet - hey you, Pippy!

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I love watching the larger patterns of relationships. It’s fascinating the lines you’ll see on here over and over again. The way we are shaped becomes clearer to me. I also like inserting sex positivity and non monogamous thought when I get the chance, simply because I still think it rare and can be useful for folks. I find the community ernist and caring. I appreciate the perspective it gives me and the challenge of clarifying my thoughts.

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