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Thread: Fiancee aggressive in bed makes me uncomfortable and anxious

  1. #1

    Fiancee aggressive in bed makes me uncomfortable and anxious

    Hello, I am 34 years old. I got introduced to my now 34 year old fiancee through an arranged marriage setting. On our first meeting, she mentioned she's very spiritual and is very influenced by a lady spiritual teacher. Her mother later described her as "very pure" & "Godly", "holy" and asked me if I had any prior relationships/escapades in my business trips. All this pissed me off and I moved on & stopped any communication save few pleasantries with my now fiancee. However I was not doing well in dating world & she kept on messaging me and was very patient and jovial. I resumed communication with her after few months and within span of a week we were engaged, primarily due to family pressures (that's the way it happens in India!). After a week I met my fiancee in a different city, we roamed around, went for a movie and then back to her place, she stays alone. And that's where I was bewildered. She was like a porn star, she knew all the moves, in few mins she was on top of me, grinding (aka dry humping) me. We don't know each other that well, and this sexual aggression left me a bit uncomfortable and anxious. I was able to get out of her place that night. But here sexual advances kept on increasing, last when I left her place she was completely naked and I was in my underwear, uncomfortable, anxious, confused. I have already told her that I am a virgin, am not comfortable to have sex before atleast we know each other well enough. But she just keeps on getting back that we should do it.

    I am not able to understand her behavior, what are intentions behind? We don't know each other that well yet, given this is an arranged marriage setting. What can you make of her behavior? Appreciate any advice

  2. #2
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    Is she a virgin ? Is she just horny as hell ?? In my ignorance I thought you had to wait until marriage ??? Yes she was very forward and free with herself ..that might happen to serve to you well in the future my friend believe me ..also she maybe thought that as you are on the road to marriage anyway , she might as well crack on with it .

  3. #3
    Well, when I told her I am a virgin, she seemed a bit confused and then replied so am I, lol. But way she conducts herself in bed, its hard to believe she's a virgin, she knows quite a few moves which makes her quite difficult to resist on bed. Well I wanted to develop atleast some emotional intimacy before getting into physical intimacy, but her sexual aggression has baffled me, I just don't know what to make of it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    So why don't you ask her. Like meet her somewhere where you can talk reasonably privately, but not so privately that she'll start stripping and simply ask her what her deal is. I mean she is about to be your wife. You need to learn how to speak with each other and address issues. Also, be honest with her that you don't like this and would prefer that you two get to know each other better before you go there.

    I mean all we can do is speculate here and there are a million and one reasons why. Only she knows the real reason. Ask her.

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  6. #5
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    Uh, what are all these "pornstar moves" that don't involve penetration? Dry humping is pretty basic.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    ... You don't have to have lost your hyman to be sexual/sensual and be wanting an orgasm. Surely you masturbate, Op?

    I suggest you relax and learn to enjoy that your soon to be wife is a real 'goer.'

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    Lunatic soon-to-be wife harass sexually her soon-to-be husband! Poor guy...

  9. #8
    Platinum Member lostandhurt's Avatar
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    It sounds like she is really turned on by you and is hot for your body and horny. Don't put more into this than it looks.

    Sometimes aggressive women scare men that are not confident and secure in their abilities. Just tell her that you really want to be intimate but you would like to take it a little slower.

    PS Make sure you have plenty of condoms.

    LOst

  10. #9
    Boy, why does it make you uncomfortable??
    She just clearly likes you a ton and can't resist you.
    Anyways if I were you I'd feel so excited to be with this girl that literally cannot resist me and is a sex goddess
    oh my XD


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