HelpAware Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 I was wondering if anyone had any idea how to ask a college prof to coffee or drinks outside of class time, as I would love to develop a friendship with her as we have a lot in common, and are quite close in age. I have had great relationships with other ex teachers, I just would like to know the most casual way of asking her, I admire her academically and she is very beautiful (I am bisexual) but I do not wish to cross the line with her, unless it was something she was into Thank y'all! Link to comment
abitbroken Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 I would not ask her for coffee since you are attracted to her and admiring her professionally is just a cover for this. I would find out if she is offering any additional opportunities like outings, projects, etc extracurriculars that are outside of that one class. See if a professional relationship develops from there. Link to comment
j.man Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 Office hours are your friend with it comes to building rapport, especially if they don't get many students coming in anyway. Plus that's as safe as it gets within "the line." Link to comment
Scoe141 Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 It sounds like your intentions (whether overt or not) have an ulterior motive attached to them. I would heed the others advice if you want to have a conversation with her. i.e. Office hours, out of class projects, etc. Also, you may want to ask yourself what is your "end goal" here? Hoping she's going to fall for you? but I do not wish to cross the line with her, unless it was something she was into Thank y'all! You need to ask yourself if you could differentiate your feelings for her vs. having a professional friendship. Good luck. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 As long as you're still a student, this is not only inappropriate, it has the potential of her losing her job. Link to comment
James516 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Lots to do with "if" and "then".... If she is nontenured and you're a student currently in her class and she is a complete idiot, then try to ask her to coffee after some office chats. Maybe that will be completely successful. If she is tenured and you're a student currently in her class and she is somewhat of an idiot, then try to ask her to coffee after some office chats. Maybe that will be somewhat successful. If she is nontenured or tenured and you're a student currently in her class but she has common sense, then have some office chats, but wait until the class is completed and you most likely will not have any future classes with her. It's 50/50 that she might take you up on the coffee depending if she enjoyed the chats or how busy she is. However, your motives are clear from the "beautiful" and "bisexual" comment in your post which are not relevant to a coffee academic discussion with teacher. So it would be good to be honest with at least yourself about what you are really after with this situation. Real motives are more obvious than you think and you may be wasting both of your times. Link to comment
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