I feel dead inside

Thank you for taking the time to read my manifestation of how I feel. My life has taken a turn for the worst. On July 15, 2016, I was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease with two disc herniation's in my lumbar spine. The pain I am experiencing is something that I would not wish upon anyone to suffer. On December 20, 2016, I went under the knife and went through a discectomy to remove the protruding ruptured disc material from my spinal cord. It has now been 11 months since my surgery, and I am incredibly sad that my pain appears to be coming back full force. I am only a 23 year-old-man that has been trying his best to continue living with motivation and drive; to make my family proud. Unfortunately, I am slowly dying inside, and I don't know if I can go any longer. I am too young to be experiencing back issues. I am scared for my future.

Are you on any medication for the pain?

You are too dang young to be giving up so easily. Look, go to different spine specialists, get multiple ideas on how to fix this. The medical field is sooo advanced and sooo rapidly changing all the time in this area with new medical/surgical inventions to correct and fix this stuff and worse, that you really need to keep on and look for doctors who are on top of the latest and the best and again, go get multiple consults. No, you are not doomed to live in pain forever, thankfully not in this day and age. Get info. Get educated. Seek options aggressively.

Yes, OxyContin and Soma

You are too dang young to be giving up so easily. Look, go to different spine specialists, get multiple ideas on how to fix this. The medical field is sooo advanced and sooo rapidly changing all the time in this area with new medical/surgical inventions to correct and fix this stuff and worse, that you really need to keep on and look for doctors who are on top of the latest and the best and again, go get multiple consults. No, you are not doomed to live in pain forever, thankfully not in this day and age. Get info. Get educated. Seek options aggressively.

Thank you very much for your advice; I will take it all into consideration. I need to get different medical opinions on what I can do to get better.

Yes, definitely get different medical opinions. You depression could be a reaction to your medication. There are other ways to manage pain. I had terrible back pain in my early 20s. I know how awful it is. When your back is gone, you might as well not have a body because everything is connected to it. Moving my arm or my leg would kill me when my back was out.

There were two instances where I was bedridden for a week. It was so bad that I had to roll out of my bed and get up from the floor. I couldn't even laugh without excruciating pain. I went to my doctor and she gave me Motrin. That did nothing. So I went to an Orthopedic surgeon and he gave me muscle relaxers. Those sort of worked, but I didn't want to be on medicine like that for the rest of my life. So, in desperation, I went to a chiropractor. That worked. In addition, I exercised by walking and riding horses (which is extremely good for core muscle strength). In time, I fully recovered.

I didn't have ruptured discs like you, just bulging, but I kept trying until I found something that works. I hope you do the same. It is worth it!

Thank you very much for your advice; I will take it all into consideration. I need to get different medical opinions on what I can do to get better.

Multiple ones please. Not all doctors are equally up to par. Many prefer to do only what they know. Meanwhile new inventions are coming onto the market constantly. Finding doctors who aren't stuck in their comfort zone may take some serious searching. Plus you may go to two who do x latest procedure and another will be doing y procedure which is actually better for you. It's your life, it's your health, so invest in it. Research. Learn. Put in the legwork for yourself.

A 40 something friend at work also has a couple/few degenerating disks and seems to always be in pain. He just told me that he has been to 5 specialist and got 5 very different opinions. He was looking for at least 3 doctors who all advised the same, but so far hasn't found 2. So, it sounds like it might help if you heavily self educate and get several specialist opinions. That might give you some hope. And by being as educated as possible you might be able to express your symptoms more clearly. Good luck & good health.