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Thread: Is he overreacting??

  1. #1
    lm1990
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    Is he overreacting??

    My boyfriend bought my daughter a mini drone for her 10th birthday and gave it to her early. He surprised her with it, she got excited of course, and then he told her to go open it. We all went outside after that and played with it. We were all basically playing with it until it was time to go to bed.

    So then this morning as he’s getting ready for work, he says out of nowhere, “you know I didn’t receive a thank you or even an ounce of gratitude for that gift.” I honestly had thought she said thank you but realized she possibly might not have due to the excitement and then us immediately going outside to play once she got it. So I told him I would tell her once she wakes up. I didn’t think it was anything too too serious.

    By this time he has an attitude and says “I already knew this was gonna happen.” And I’m confused so I say “knew what was gonna happen?” He then responds by saying “ I knew she wasn’t gonna appreciate anything I got her.” Now I understand it’s important to say thank you when someone gives you something and of course I’ve taught my child that, however I’m sure that this isn’t the first time in his life that he hasn’t received a direct “thank you” for something he’s done, plus I already told him I would handle it. Is he blowing this a little out of proportion or is it just me?

  2. #2
    SherrySher
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    He is overreacting. She's a little girl, she was excited, it was her birthday, my goodness, he needs to give her a break!!

    Maybe it's a one time thing but please keep an eye on this kind of behavior. Your daughter doesn't need someone in her life that is going to judge her or be harsh over nothing.

  3. #3
    lm1990
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    You’re absolutely right and it is definitely something I’m going to pay attention to.

  4. #4
    pippy longstocking
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    Hmmmm him saying he expected that has set a few alarm bells ringing .... which is total 360 from the man that bought a wonderful present and played all night as a family !!!

  5. #5
    Batya33
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    I do remind my child to say thank you through his excitement if he forgets but yes he should cut her slack and I'd see this as a warning sign.

  6. #6
    itsallgrand
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    Sounds like resentment.

  7. #7
    lm1990
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    Quote Originally Posted by pippy longstocking [Register to see the link]
    Hmmmm him saying he expected that has set a few alarm bells ringing .... which is total 360 from the man that bought a wonderful present and played all night as a family !!!
    That’s something else that popped into my head too which is why I was so confused that he had an attitude like he did. Especially since things have been really great lately.

  8. #8
    lm1990
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsallgrand [Register to see the link]
    Sounds like resentment.
    Where would the resentment be stemming from?

  9. #9
    pippy longstocking
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    Quote Originally Posted by lm1990 [Register to see the link]
    That’s something else that popped into my head too which is why I was so confused that he had an attitude like he did. Especially since things have been really great lately.
    Important question ....Is he a father ?

  10. #10
    nutbrownhare
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    By this time he has an attitude and says “I already knew this was gonna happen.” And I’m confused so I say “knew what was gonna happen?” He then responds by saying “ I knew she wasn’t gonna appreciate anything I got her.”
    Hmmm... this is not about your daughter, this is something to do with his learned behaviour. Maybe he had a parent who made him feel guilty every time they gave him something (by not being 'grateful' enough), or maybe part of his early history genuinely was being generous, and then not being appreciated for what he'd done. Or maybe in the child part of his personality, he felt resentful that your daughter was getting more attention than he was. Possibly.

    When people say
    “I already knew this was gonna happen.”
    It can suggest they're getting into a game whereby they're reaffirming their own negative beliefs about themselves and the world. Effectively, he set up a situation where a little girl got excited about a birthday present given early and then dashed off to enjoy it. Chances are she probably did thank him, but with his mindset he would not have registered it.

    If she genuinely hadn't appreciated the gift, she wouldn't have played with it or enjoyed it.

    If this is just a one-off with him being a bit crabby, then forget about it. If it's part of a general pattern, though, BEWARE! For yourself, not just your kid.

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