Guessing this was a rejection? Feels like one

We’ve had two great dates so far, won’t really get into detail..

After the first date when I asked when she was next free she told me “I’m free whenever you are so we arranged the second date.

After the second date today I asked when is she next free to get together and she replied “Don't get too drunk! Haha, I'm not sure maybe when I have some money 😂 x” so I replied “We don’t have to spend money, but I’d like to see you again. Maybe some other time, let me know when you’re free x”

I’ve left it at that. I know she’s tight on money at the moment as she told me she hardly has anything since investing in a laptop and she wanted to go halves with me on our meal but I said it was okay.

Was this a sign of her not wanting to see me again?

Sounds like she is financially stressed and being honest about that. How much time in between these dates? Are you pushing for too many dates too soon so she is legitimately pumping the brakes?

We had one last Sunday, then one on Wednesday. I’ve just asked when she’s next available and what suits her rather than suggesting a day. I’ve paid for both dates too, but she has offered to go halves.

How do you know she is only joking with you about wanting to see you one more time, I think she's being honest and genuinely enjoyed your time together. NOT too much pressure there, let her take her time with things. x

Do you think I backed off and responded well? I figured that I’ve already made the effort to meet up again so the ball is in her court and if she was interested she would reach out.

yes, you left it at a good level. I think she is just broke maybe and is having a hard time keeping things equal

WHy don't you let her pay half? that might help:

That is kind of a lot back to back. I'd say sit tight and chill out a bit. Maybe just flirt/banter with her a little via phone or text, but leave her to figure out her schedule and don't jump to conclusions. Keep it light and take it easy.

I’ve paid for both dates already, was perfectly happy to. She did offer to pay half but I was okay paying it.

Why did she make that comment about you getting drunk? Did you have too much to drink at your last date?

I think it would be best just to give it a few days, then ask her out on a specific night to a specific thing--your treat--and see how she responds. In other words, instead of "let me know when you are free" ask "I'd like to take you out Saturday night to so-and-so."

I posted a facebook status regarding my productive day which said “Feeling determined. As one door closes, another one opens

Soon after she text me “Okay 😊 what's your status about? X”. I replied “Just career stuff, got a lot done today with applications and that 😉 x”

A few minutes after she sent her text she also tagged me in a post of a picture of a coin broken in half, with a tagline of “this is how broke I am”. It was supposed to be humoress.

But I’m just confused regarding setting a date to meet up again. We don’t have to spend money to be with each other in person, I just feel like it’s an excuse because if you were interested in someone you’d see them surely?

It was in response to my previous text. When I asked when she was free I had told her that I was out this evening with my mates having a couple of drinks.

We had one last Sunday, then one on Wednesday. I’ve just asked when she’s next available and what suits her rather than suggesting a day. I’ve paid for both dates too, but she has offered to go halves.

Two dates in a week would be too much too soon for me personally. Maybe I'm weird that way but I'm an introvert and i need my space!

With my current bf we took things and are taking things really really slow.

I don't need to see him twice a week and luckily he's on the same page....

So maybe it was too soon for her.... you don't want to smother her. Let her take the next step, she knows you want another date so give her the time.... she'll get back to you if she's really interested! Good luck!

Dude she might not even have money for gas at this point. Even if the date is free or cheap, even if you are willing to pay for things, as a woman I wouldn't be comfortable going out unless I can afford the date just in case or at the very least afford uber to escape. Also, this early on I wouldn't exactly be wanting to walk in the park with you or some such. I mean you two have just barely met. Don't be so pushy and don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

I'm actually an extrovert and two or three dates in a week would be too much for me as well. That's not dating, that's jumping into an instant attached at the hip relationship. Back off man, back off. You are being way too eager here.

I like Krankor's advice as well. Give her some space and ask for a concrete date - day/time/place/activity. Make that next week or something.

Two dates in a week would be too much too soon for me personally. Maybe I'm weird that way but I'm an introvert and i need my space!

With my current bf we took things and are taking things really really slow.

I don't need to see him twice a week and luckily he's on the same page....

So maybe it was too soon for her.... you don't want to smother her. Let her take the next step, she knows you want another date so give her the time.... she'll get back to you if she's really interested! Good luck!

Ah okay, makes sense. We had our first date on Sunday and I asked when she was next free, she said "I'm free whenever you are so I proceeded to make our second date on Wednesday.

Obviously I went through the same process after our second date and asked when she was next free.

Should I just keep doing what I was doing, replying to texts, bantering, etc then arrange a date for next week at the end of this weekend?

Or do I let her bring that up now? I just don't want to be sucked into daily texting conversations and not meeting face to face, etc. I think on Sunday I'll ask again and give it a final chance then move on.

Dude she might not even have money for gas at this point. Even if the date is free or cheap, even if you are willing to pay for things, as a woman I wouldn't be comfortable going out unless I can afford the date just in case or at the very least afford uber to escape. Also, this early on I wouldn't exactly be wanting to walk in the park with you or some such. I mean you two have just barely met. Don't be so pushy and don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.

 

I'm actually an extrovert and two or three dates in a week would be too much for me as well. That's not dating, that's jumping into an instant attached at the hip relationship. Back off man, back off. You are being way too eager here.

 

I like Krankor's advice as well. Give her some space and ask for a concrete date - day/time/place/activity. Make that next week or something.

Do you think this has killed off my chances? I'm also worried when she asked about my status on Facebook, whether she thought it was about her. I did explain it was about career stuff, etc. And she did tag me in a funny picture 5-10 minutes after.

I guess it is the fact that it's going to quickly, so I'll back off and respond/banter when she replies. I just don't want to be sucked into mindless texting conversations though..

Okay, so here's the plan.. Bring up a concrete dating offer on Sunday to meet up the following week. How does that sound? I'll probably phone her and do it that way.

Okay, so here's the plan.. Bring up a concrete dating offer on Sunday to meet up the following week. How does that sound? I'll probably phone her and do it that way.

That's a good idea. Good luck !

Yes that's a good plan!!

Thanks guys. Unless she beats me to it, then fair enough. I do feel uncomfortable trying to make plans again though after I told her to get back to me when she knows she's free, kind of feel like I'm going against my word. But then I just can't be bothered "playing games" and would rather be direct with what I want. I'll give what's happened as the first strike and I'll give it a second strike/call it quits if I get the same on Sunday. Probably better to remove her from Facebook and move on if that happens.

Note of practicality: a lot of people have no money until another pay day, dating or not. The halfway point of the month is like a ledge to a climber. November 15th may be her next good window of dating opportunity.

Thanks guys. Unless she beats me to it, then fair enough. I do feel uncomfortable trying to make plans again though after I told her to get back to me when she knows she's free, kind of feel like I'm going against my word. But then I just can't be bothered "playing games" and would rather be direct with what I want. I'll give what's happened as the first strike and I'll give it a second strike/call it quits if I get the same on Sunday. Probably better to remove her from Facebook and move on if that happens.

Agreed you should be direct. "Let me know when you're free" is too passive. Don't worry about "going against your word." It takes persistence to persuade a woman to take you seriously. If you simply waited for women to respond to passive statements you'd never get anywhere.

Your facebook post could easily have been interpreted to mean that you view the door as being closed on her, while another one is opening. I think it's good that she asked about it and then tagged you in a post. Sounds like she was a little worried.

Please don't already think about removing her from Facebook. As John Gruden says, live in your hopes, not in your fears!

Anything but a yes is a no. Sorry, I'm not as optimistic as the others. I think she's blowing you off, and using money as an excuse, not a reason.

Note of practicality: a lot of people have no money until another pay day, dating or not. The halfway point of the month is like a ledge to a climber. November 15th may be her next good window of dating opportunity.

Just so happens to be the day we get an ice skating rink in our city too. Might be good timing.

I don't get why she doesn't just agree to it and let me pay, I'm willing to unless she feels guilty as I've paid for both dates so far.

When I arrange a date by contacting her on Sunday I'll say it's my treat, to ease any money worries, etc.

Agreed you should be direct. "Let me know when you're free" is too passive. Don't worry about "going against your word." It takes persistence to persuade a woman to take you seriously. If you simply waited for women to respond to passive statements you'd never get anywhere.

 

Your facebook post could easily have been interpreted to mean that you view the door as being closed on her, while another one is opening. I think it's good that she asked about it and then tagged you in a post. Sounds like she was a little worried.

 

Please don't already think about removing her from Facebook. As John Gruden says, live in your hopes, not in your fears!

Yeah it was kind of bad timing. I had put "feeling determined" as my "feeling" in my facebook status which helped. I have her an honest explanation but at least she seemed worried enough to contact me and then tag me in something ten minutes later. I just hope she doesn't see this as a negative and it's killed things off (like it's annoyed her, etc). I'll try to avoid posting statuses that could be misinterpreted from now on!

Anything but a yes is a no. Sorry, I'm not as optimistic as the others. I think she's blowing you off, and using money as an excuse, not a reason.

Unfortunately that was my feeling..

But before the second date, she asked me how much this place we was going was going to cost and I mentioned the price in which she told me she couldn't afford it after buying a new laptop for work. I told her I had paid for it already so it was okay.

During our second date when we had our meal, she told me she wanted to pay half but couldn't because she only had about £8 to her name. She asked if I could tell her my details so she could transfer it when she gets paid but I said don't worry about it.

So there were hints of it which I believe.

But yeah I do feel pessimistic about this. I think there's another guy on the scene as I've noticed they've liked each others photos on Facebook and instagram but he lives a bit of a distance away and I do notice her online on POF quite a bit, but we're both single and can do what we want.

I'll see this as strike #1 and ask her out again on Sunday and be direct about setting another date up. Anything other than a yes and it'll be strike #2, I won't even reply and just remove her from Facebook and move on, go no contact. If she wonders or asks why I'll ignore it and she can figure it out herself.

Unfortunately that was my feeling..

 

But before the second date, she asked me how much this place we was going was going to cost and I mentioned the price in which she told me she couldn't afford it after buying a new laptop for work. I told her I had paid for it already so it was okay.

 

During our second date when we had our meal, she told me she wanted to pay half but couldn't because she only had about £8 to her name. She asked if I could tell her my details so she could transfer it when she gets paid but I said don't worry about it.

 

So there were hints of it which I believe.

 

But yeah I do feel pessimistic about this. I think there's another guy on the scene as I've noticed they've liked each others photos on Facebook and instagram but he lives a bit of a distance away and I do notice her online on POF quite a bit, but we're both single and can do what we want.

 

I'll see this as strike #1 and ask her out again on Sunday and be direct about setting another date up. Anything other than a yes and it'll be strike #2, I won't even reply and just remove her from Facebook and move on, go no contact. If she wonders or asks why I'll ignore it and she can figure it out herself.

OK, right idea about asking her out on a specific date on Sunday. Wrong idea about cold-shouldering her afterwards. That is just going to make you seem pouty and butthurt.

If she blows you off on the date idea then yeah, she's probably blowing you off. Or maybe the night you'll suggest just honestly doesn't work for her. What I would do is just say "OK, well some other time then" and leave it at that. I wouldn't ask her out again but I wouldn't close the door on her either. Stay FB friends and see if she decides to contact you again.