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Thread: Finally have an idea of what is going on

  1. #1
    Silver Member Piaresssss's Avatar
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    Finally have an idea of what is going on

    So after 2 months I can finally say I have a sense of direction. So my ex contacted me to give me back some stuff and she suggested we get coffee. I agreed and went but she never showed up.

    I got a message a few hours later saying she over slept and she also missed the tattoo she had booked. She asked if she could drop by that night and I agreed just to get it out of the way.

    She came round and we had a really good talk about the relationship. I apologised for what i did wrong in the relationship and told her how i still felt. She then told me her feelings that she had been unhappy for a while and held on for the love she had for me but breaking up was the right move and I agreed as it has helped me start to tackle my problems.

    We got to talking about her and she said her mental health is at the lowest it's ever been and she is not doing well emotionally and she still doesn't know how she feels about me and thinks that when we go to japan together will tell her how she feels. I also found out she is not pregnant but was 65 days late for her period because her depression is messing with her body.

    She said she didn't like that we didn't talk anymore and she wanted us to build a friendship to which I agreed. We are going to talk more often and hand out with each other more. Some people on here might disagree with this but I feel it's better than us just ignoring each other.

    I ended the conversation saying I am doing a lot in my life to change and deal with my issues and if that brings you back then great but if it does not then that's okay too as I will have become a better more rounded individual.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Dude,

    While we disagree with trying to maintain a friendship with your ex as it is likely to drag out the healing process for both of you. But that is not to say it cannot work out. Every one is different and every relationship is different. Try it for a while and see how it goes, but if you do not feel the feelings dissipate over time then perhaps re-evaluate the friendship in a month or two.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Piaresssss's Avatar
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    Thank you for your advice. If that is what needs to happen for me to fully heal then I will have to do it.

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    [QUOTE=Piaresssss;6908731]So after 2 months I can finally say I have a sense of direction. So my ex contacted me to give me back some stuff and she suggested we get coffee. I agreed and went but she never showed up.
    /QUOTE]

    That's her interest in you right there. Non existent. Yet you STILL meet up with her to tell her your feelings. You need to stop being someones doormat, your going to have a painful personal life if you carry on like this.

    Sorry to be so direct, but you need to wake up a bit.

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  6. #5
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    That's the mother of bad ideas if I ever heard one lol

    Don't listen to the million other people who say DON'T BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX IF YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS

    Am I right?

    Cause you're special and everything will be fine.

    Don't get me wrong, I hope it will work out for you both, but there's like...95% chance it won't and you'll end up suffering even more when you finally realize she's not into you anymore.

  7. #6
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    Originally Posted by Keyman
    Dude,

    While we disagree with trying to maintain a friendship with your ex as it is likely to drag out the healing process for both of you. But that is not to say it cannot work out. Every one is different and every relationship is different. Try it for a while and see how it goes, but if you do not feel the feelings dissipate over time then perhaps re-evaluate the friendship in a month or two.
    How do you expect feelings to disappear if he's basically going to be the ex-boyfriend friend who will be there for her emotional needs while other dudes are trying to f*ck her? Or even while she's trying to f*ck other guys.
    Can you imagine the conversation when she'll say "Well, I met this guy..." and OP will be devastated again just because "we'll remain friends".

    Well, to each its own.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Keyman's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rustysuit
    How do you expect feelings to disappear if he's basically going to be the ex-boyfriend friend who will be there for her emotional needs while other dudes are trying to f*ck her? Or even while she's trying to f*ck other guys.
    Can you imagine the conversation when she'll say "Well, I met this guy..." and OP will be devastated again just because "we'll remain friends".

    Well, to each its own.
    Mate, I agree. But for some people, you can tell them pissing on an electric fence is stupid but they still need to feel their balls on fire to figure it out.

  9. #8
    Silver Member Piaresssss's Avatar
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    This may sound odd but I agree with you all. I feel i must go through this to grow as a person. If me getting hurt makes me stronger in the long run then I will take feeling crappy.

  10. #9
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    Why are you doing this to yourself. You know she is down and you have not decided to get back together officially so what's the point of continuing a relationship? It will do no good.

  11. #10
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    While I agree it's a bad idea because I did it myself, I think after that friendship came to it's volatile end it helped me grow a lot, it was the most pain id ever felt though I thought it wouldn't stop but now I'm in a much better place with everything

    So just go for It, the chances you get the outcome you want are slim but it can happen! and if it doesn't you'll make it out the

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