I have a crush. (8th grade)

Okay, so, there's this girl at my school, (I won't reveal any names,) but I like her, and it's a long story so I'll try and give a rundown of what's happened.

Last May, my friend and I were talking about who we had liked. I told him, and somehow, I wound up asking her out over the phone later that night. I didn't think much of it, and was willing to get rejected. I was unaware, however, that she was already in a relationship with another boy, but I had already given it a go. She didn't say yes or no, until the weekend ended, and at school on that Monday, we were near each other a lot, talking, and drama started escalating quickly. It seemed that everywhere I'd go, there was a crowd of people that followed. At one point in the day, she said she had to tell me something, although, later on she did over text messaging. She said she liked me "as a friend" and that maybe we could date later on. It's weird, because, that's almost claiming that it's a certainty her current relationship wouldn't last. Anyways, we began talking over the phone from that point on, playing games, like smash or pass and kiss, kill, marry, all silly ones. All of this "friend" stuff had gotten to my head, and I became fine with it after I while. But, I started changing physically. I began working out, eating healthy, and losing weight very fast. I looked better, but didn't feel better. So, one day, we were talking, and her friends were also on the call, and I said to my friend, "I think I should just move on from all of this. She's changing me as a person." And, my friend was in the call, too, so I made it clear that I had to talk to him. She started wondering what was going on and asked him what I said, and he told her I wanted to move on from her. Then, she texted me, saying that I shouldn't move on because she started to like me. Like an idiot would, I stayed. And, over time, she became a bigger and bigger part of my life. Until one day, she texted me while on my bus, and said she was done. Completely done. That she didn't like me and hoped we could still be friends. This wasn't the first time this had happened, either. I was upset, heartbroken, really. We didn't talk from that point on. Then, summer came along and I was even more depressed, I got rail thin, gained muscle, and it was a mess of a situation. We didn't text one time over the summer, except for one time where my friend and I had enough of her talking behind our backs and decided to confront her about it. Obviously, this didn't end well, and she blocked our asses. But, I apologized several weeks later, and we were back on good terms.

School starts and I'm nervous, but I have a plan to just not talk to her often. To play it cool and not come off as desperate. I see her and we don't exchange a single word to each other. On about the third day, she came up to me and said, "Thanks for being nice to me unlike everyone else" in an agitated tone, (she wasn't angry at me, but another kid she was just talking to.) I didn't respond, and walked away. In physical education class, we were walking together along with a few other friends, and she started talking to me, and we did have a conversation this time around. We had a game of kickball a few minutes later, and she was in charge of choosing the teams. She looked around at everyone, but immediately chose me first. I was thrilled on the inside. We didn't talk for the rest of the day.

A few weeks go by, and my friend texts her and mentions my name saying I thought she was mad at me, (I didn't ask him to do this.) She says, "I'm not, I want to talk to him." The next day, she asks that same friend if I saw her message, and he tells her to talk to me. She never did, I think she was shy to.

All of this aside, our school had a Halloween party recently, and I wasn't engaging in any conversation with her. In fact, I kept my distance. She asked my friend and I to follow her and we proceeded to do so. On the way up the track, she says something like this, "We never talk anymore, we need to talk like we used to!"

I was so happy.

My only move next was to text her, and after several days of hesitation, I go for it, and ask her, "Hey, it's been a while since we've last talked and you had mentioned you wanted to talk more, so I figured I'd see how things were going." She responds with a simple, "Hey," followed by a, "So what's up." I said "Hey" back to her and said "Honestly nothing much how about you?" Back to her. She said, "Nothing much either." And the conversation ended right there. Dull and boring. I felt as if I was talking to a brick wall. We haven't talked since, but I'll see her at school tomorrow.

I need to know how to go on with this situation, and simply what I should do. I like this girl, a lot. I feel like she can make me happy at any point in time and sad at any point in time. I'm more resilient than ever, and I'm able to deal with rejection. I just need to know what to do. It's hard to talk to her when there's always people around her, and also having a conversation with her that isn't awkward and making me seem desperate. I'm limited as far as my options are concerned, but there's still a peak of light that I'm able to go for. I just need to know what that peak of light is. I don't know what she likes, I don't know what we really have in common, either. I need to break this connection barrier, but first I'll need a plan.

Please help if you can, it would mean the world if you gave an honest reply.

Thank you!

How old are you and she? It would help to know in giving you advice.

Is she still seeing this other boy? That would help too in knowing what advice to give you.

Not knowing this, I would tell you to get your courage up and ask her out on a date! You can go for a walk around a park, take her to an ice cream store and buy her some ice cream, walking along a river bank, climb a hill, whatever. Someplace where you can get away from all these "friends" who are watching you and commenting on everything you both are doing. Someplace where you can have a conversation alone and just talk about things like what she likes to do and what's going on at school and in her life and so forth. Maybe you can even hold her hand. Stop playing all these games. Now, you might have to think about things to talk about, but you have a lot in common, so there should be plenty of topics. Give it a try, and if it doesn't work out, it will at least prepare you for when you're older and are in more mature relationships.

She said she liked me "as a friend" and that maybe we could date later on. It's weird, because, that's almost claiming that it's a certainty her current relationship wouldn't last.

Yes, it does imply that her current relationship won't be permanent, but that doesn't mean you should hover around like you're next in line. Believe me, girls know when guys do thas and it is usually not appreciated. In fact, it's probably why you hit that brick wall when you try talking to her.

Her and the boy have been broken up for months. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. I'm just lost in what to do. I feel like I need to talk to her but it's really hard to at school because everyone will create drama, and I'm not sure who she really really is deep down. It's hard.

We're both thirteen.

They are no longer together, she had enough of him and left him after a month or so.

You're absolutely correct. It should be easy to just ask her out on a date, but I'd seem interested in that case. It would be as if I was rushing things - she lives in a different borough than I do, but I visit there sometimes so if we ever wound up dating I could still see her.

It's hard man. I feel lost and as if I have no courage left. She's tried talking to me sometimes and I'll just shy away. I need to take action here.

She's single now, has been for a while, so that isn't an issue. I just need advice on approaching her, how to act around her, and asking her out at some point.

I need help desperately with this.. it's eating me alive.. I think I love her and I cant do anything about it. Please help me.

Be yourself. Seriously.

I am.. I just lack the courage to talk to her and whenever I want to talk to her I can't because she's around others, like her friends as an example. It's hard. I really like this girl.

It sounds like you're really stressing yourself out about this. Maybe it's best for right now that you don't have an opportunity to talk to her. Your anxiety level would probably show through and get in your way. What can you do to reduce your anxiety?

It sounds like you're really stressing yourself out about this. Maybe it's best for right now that you don't have an opportunity to talk to her. Your anxiety level would probably show through and get in your way. What can you do to reduce your anxiety?

I agree that I'm overthinking the situation. But, each and every day that I see her I like her more but I lack the courage to talk to her. It's awful. I have anxiety about talking to her and getting rejected, mainly.. I'm desperate here. I don't talk to her because when we do talk it's always awkward and I want to break that barrier so that I can have an actual conversation with her.. it's tough.

What can you do to reduce your desperation?

OP, with all due respect, you're 13 years old. You'll have many, many, many more crushes coming your way in the next 20 years. Trust me, we have ALL been there, done that, and at your age, emotions and feelings seem to be tenfold and overwhelming. What you believe is love, is merely infatuation. You have plenty of time. Slow down. Enjoy your friendship with this girl and let the chips fall where they may. Breathe.

OP, with all due respect, you're 13 years old. You'll have many, many, many more crushes coming your way in the next 20 years. Trust me, we have ALL been there, done that, and at your age, emotions and feelings seem to be tenfold and overwhelming. What you believe is love, is merely infatuation. You have plenty of time. Slow down. Enjoy your friendship with this girl and let the chips fall where they may. Breathe.

Often times, I will feel as if I love her. Whether or not the emotions truly consist of love or not, you're completely right.. I'm going to try to have a simple conversation with her today and see where it goes.

What can you do to reduce your desperation?

I wouldn't consider myself desperate to get her, I'm just desperate to talk to her.. it's already November and we haven't had a proper conversation since last year.

What you are feeling is normal and just about everyone goes through it. Ok now. Don't be that weird guy who just stares without being friendly. Start with a smile then a simple "hi" when you pass by next time. Build up to talking, don't put pressure on yourself.

Often times, I will feel as if I love her. Whether or not the emotions truly consist of love or not, you're completely right.. I'm going to try to have a simple conversation with her today and see where it goes.