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Thread: What should I do?

  1. #1
    Platinum Member rose2summer's Avatar
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    What should I do?

    Getting stood up: My boyfriend went to a wedding last night. We planned to go to brunch with my parents as we always do at 10:30am on Sundays. I tried calling and texting twice to see when he was coming but no response.

    At 10:18am, I run to the ATM around the block to get cash with plans to be back at 10:25am.

    At 10:18am I get this message:
    I stopped by your house...your not there. Have a great day

    I wrote him back immediately saying I'll be there in 1 minute (I still wasn't late). No response after calling twice and texting then I get this message at 11:22am:

    I tossed my phone after I texted you because I was quite upset. Had no clue you called and texted twice. I'm home now and not coming back. I'm not going to spend another 2 hours (round trip) on driving out there. I have too much going on to waste my time. Enjoy your parents

    I feel stood up? This isn't the first time this has happened recently.

    I wrote him I'm unsure about things after this and he replied:
    On another note, if after almost a year you're not sure about things, that says a lot. I don't have time to waste.

    What should I do?
    Last edited by rose2summer; 11-05-2017 at 03:29 PM.

  2. #2
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    How long have you been dating? You say "almost a year". So is this a different guy from any other guy you've written previously about?

    In any event, this is a strange situation. You say that you texted and called twice, but he "had no clue". How does he have no clue?

    It sounds to me like he's using this situation to work himself up and get ticked off. Like, you weren't there that second, so he goes home and "punishes" you.

    Quite immature of him.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member rose2summer's Avatar
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    It's one year in like a week. I had written about him before here. That's what I don't understand how he had no clue. It seems manipulative. I feel sad and embarrassed. It's hard to explain to my parents who also felt stood up.

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    Originally Posted by rose2summer
    It's one year in like a week. I had written about him before here. That's what I don't understand how he had no clue. It seems manipulative. I feel sad and embarrassed. It's hard to explain to my parents who also felt stood up.
    Could it be that he had a very late night, or a massive hangover, and was highly irritable?

    I'd give him a day or two to calm down. Something bigger was on his mind than you not being there.
    Try reaching out then. You don't owe him anything though. If he continues to be rude, go silent on him.

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  6. #5
    Bronze Member ballerinababe's Avatar
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    How could he have "no clue" you texted when he texted you thereafter? He would have seen the text when he went to text you. It seems obvious he wanted an excuse to get out of the brunch. He is treating you very rudely and seems dead set on starting a fight and pushing you away. I think he is checked out of the relationship.

    If I were in that situation I would just text back, "It seems you are looking for reasons to move on from this relationship so I bid you good bye. I don't have time to waste with people who treat me with disrespect. Good luck with your future endeavors."

  7. #6
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    He was looking for a fight and never had any intention of joining you and your parents for brunch, in my opinion. I don't buy for a moment that he didn't realize you'd called and messaged him trying to find out where he was; how could he not realize that when he used the same phone to message you? He's full of equine manure. He knows you tried to contact him, obviously.

    You say this ins't the first time this has happened - what's the backstory here?

    EDIT: I read your previous threads. This is the same guy who never really made time for, and randomly dumped you not that long ago?

  8. #7
    Platinum Member rose2summer's Avatar
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    Wednesday and Friday we were supposed to see each other. Wednesday night he said he was going to eat with his parents instead and cancelled. Friday night he said he was working late and cancelled.

    Yes, he was the same guy who wasn't making time for me in the past and left me in May, we got back together. Things got a lot better, we were seriously talking marriage then this past week, it suddenly crashed. I'm not quite sure why. Last time we saw each other was over a week ago and he's flying out of the area tomorrow for work.

  9. #8
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    I think it's safe to say he wanted to end your relationship again and picked this fight to make his exit, blaming you.

  10. #9
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    Ouch. I too just read back on your previous posts.
    He wants out. Please let him go, for your own sanity.
    You deserve so much better

  11. #10
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    Agree he wants out, but OP based on this thread, your behavior isn't the best either.

    So he drives two hours to/from your house to have brunch with you and your parents every Sunday?

    I can't imagine this is much fun for him, he's doing it to please you, which is admirable.

    Okay you texted twice but he was driving and couldn't respond, quite understandable.

    When you left to go to ATM why didn't you leave note on door or text him letting him know where you were going and would be right back?

    He gets to your house, you're not there, what is he supposed to think?

    After driving an hour, frankly, I don't blame him for being pissed off.

    As if that's not bad enough you then expect him to drive all the way back? Two hour drive round trip. To have brunch with your parents?

    And because he refused (understandable under the circumstances), YOU feel stood up? What the *.

    I haven't read your past threads, but if he wants out, there is a reason.

    Just from this thread, you sound quite demanding and controlling, and he's reached his breaking point.

    At the very least, I think you need to apologize for your role in the miscommunication.

    You may also want to consider loosening the leash a little bit.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 11-05-2017 at 06:01 PM.

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