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Thread: How much should I find out about his sex life during time apart?

  1. #1

    How much should I find out about his sex life during time apart?

    I've was with my ex for 10 years and he broke up with me because he was no longer sure if he ever wanted to have children.

    After 3 months apart he now says he has realised he made a big mistake, wants to have children but importantly with me.

    However ,while apart he has slept with other people.

    Should I find out who those people are and ask questions even though it will hurt. I'm not sure I can accept it and move on unless I do. I might be forever wondering if it is every woman who likes a picture of his on social media...But, is it better to just accept that as as part of his journey he made mistakes and the less I know about it the better?

    Any experience of this or outsider advice welcome.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think that if you want to ask questions, then you must be able to handle the truth or leave if what he tells you is more then your sensibilities can handle.

  3. 11-04-2017, 07:48 PM

  4. #3
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    For me , I would know that can of worms would destroy me... but ...not knowing and my imagination filling in the gaps would also destroy me .

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    oi troll ..leave vulnerable people alone !!!!

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  7. #5
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    You need to know, because your sexual health may be at risk.
    And insist he gets tested for STD's.

  8. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    I don't know what good will come of you knowing. You probably think you feel terrible not knowing so knowing will make it better but I highly doubt it will, the betrayal happened and no matter what you find out it's up to you to decide whether or not you can move past it.

  9. #7
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    Maybe you've already covered this with him, but what happened in such a short time apart to make him change his mind so drastically? Sorry if that raises any issues that are uncomfortable but in all honesty that was my first reaction when reading your post.

  10. #8
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    I don't know what good will come of you knowing. You probably think you feel terrible not knowing so knowing will make it better but I highly doubt it will, the betrayal happened and no matter what you find out it's up to you to decide whether or not you can move past it.
    They were broken up. I don't see it as a "betrayal".

    OP, do you think knowing the details will make you feel better or worse?

  11. #9
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I wouldn't ask. I don't think I'd want to know because it would really bother me. For me, I'd just want a blood test so that I knew he didn't get any diseases during our time apart.

  12. #10
    Platinum Member Seymore's Avatar
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    Man, Im glad they told me they had sex with (insert number) people! My life is more fulfilled now.

    - Unknown (because no one said it)

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