Just feel so alone :-(

I've written here before about my Ex and I after we were together for 4 years and lived together both 33 and 34 talked of marriage and kids and now it's all over 😢

April/May he was horrible to me.

June he broke down and said he missed me and wanted to sort us out been through too much drift apart and didn't want to not know each other. Said he would always be there for me to talk to. He was a utter mess very very upset.

July he was sitting on the fence, wanted to meet me but in a week went on dating sites.

He's had a lot of stress as he's got into his dream career and had trouble in training so was back grouped.

August/Sept/Oct he finally passed training but said he's moving to a new location and moving on with life with his career and location.

Now I've tried to be civil over joint bills and then his stuff I still need to give him back and he's barley emails back 😢

I have no closure at all, we've only seen each other's briefly twice since the split. I don't even know what's gone on he just picked holes out of me for one thing or another he never brought up in the 4 years together. His friend however told me it was all to do with his family.

He barley responds to me now at all 😢

It's like he's moving on after all that time together and I just feel stuck totally. I don't know how you can turn your back on someone so easily. Like I meant absoutly nothing. And just avoids me near enough.

I feel so ill with it all. I've tried to figure out what when wrong 😢 I just can't move on at all 😢 seen my doctor a lot and a councillor. But he's accused me of stuff which wasn't me, so I sent him proof last night to clear my name.

We did everything together and had so many good experiences and I helped him into this career and left me for dust basically. I said one stupid line at Easter to end it but if just burried my friend that week whom had committed suicide and I lost my nana not long before that.

My whole life is a mess. I was diagnosed with PTSD last year after nearly being killed at work. Went through gruelling week by week EMDR theory, but in that I lost my nana and my friend. Then we split the same week. July I had to move out of the house we shared and he didn't help at all, nor get his stuff. And my job is also on the line. I've left my family and friends and told no one where I am. I've asked for closure to help me and at least understand but no nothing.

Nothing drastic has happened, but I feel totally worthless and useless 😞 feel like my whole future has gone on a flash. No chances to sort anything out etc. Feel totally lied to as well. Weekends are worse because we always had so much fun at weekends together as we have so much in common 😞

Usually people on forums will only give you practical and to be honest - self destructive advices that all have basis on time, ignoring, not contacting etc.

I've been trough similar thing twice with the same person. Right now working on things to make us both feel better.

Breakups are not things you fool around with. They are russian roullete with loaded gun. Some people just have tendency to do the breakup without being aware of troubles it will bring.

Moment you get into relationship both parties are responsible for effects they bring upon each other.

You sound like you are in loads of pain. Maye i can help you. Just tell me the way how to reach you in private. This forum does not have private msg opion.

^

If that's how you feel, why are you offering advice?

Because beggar trust a beggar.

Rich man will just tell him that his poverty is a blessing in disguise

What does that translate to in English?

Because beggar trust a beggar.

 

Rich man will just tell him that his poverty is a blessing in disguise

 

yes and the beggar will ask him how soft the mattress is that he will sleep on that night

You are going through a storm. Life brings those sometimes and it is excruciating when all the tiles come tumbling down at once. You barely recover from being hit by one when another one comes hurdling toward your head.

I encourage you to seek a counselor you can talk to.

I encourage you to get outside as much as you possibly can.

I encourage you to redo your resume and start looking in case the job becomes a problem.

I encourage you to watch something positive every day. Listen to something positive every day. And say something positive to yourself. Every. Day.

Write down your goals and where you want to be in 6 months emotionally and physically. Read it aloud every day.

Take care of yourself. Eat. Shower. Cry if you want to. But keep grasping at the straw to help you hold on to your life.

Find someone who is going through a hard time and offer support and help. This is a good way to keep perspective and also sow seeds of good things into someone else's life and your own.

Sending you light and love and hugs. You truly are not alone. 💙

Check youtube for motivational music and quotes and affirmations. Listen to them whether you feel like it or not.

What does that translate to in English?

it translates to the fact that most of the people giving advices are not in the same position that person that needs advice is in at the moment.

@pippy

I think beggar will just be quiet after whole blessing in disguise thing because it's kind of those things that shuts you up and rich man walks away thinkg he did some miracle deed or whatnot.

But things like mental illness, stress and especially ego makes some people breakup so easilyand then they suffer again and again with other party suffering also ... and you get nothing from it.

Relationships, when they are locked in should be like plants and you need to care about them.

Also biggest enemy of your romantic relationships can be family or friends. In most cases jelousy is evident in friends that are jelous of your love and family can sometimes get greedy and want you for themselves not "giving you up" for that other person. I have luck that my family is not like that.

Thanks everyone 😞

His family caused alot of problems and hurt me, I had to stand up for myself as he wouldn't.

I know family mean everything to him, but I was fed up of being left out all the time. He wanted it sorting as well as I, but I tried and we seemed to get somewhere then his sister would say something that would just fill me aniexty again and again. I know she wasn't happy in her relationship but her brothers relationships keep failing and it's not fair on him. When she's got a isssue with her fella, my ex sorted it. When my ex had issues with partners his sister would say get rid.

I've only seen him briefly twice since the split. Now he's taken off in the career which I helped and supported him into and even in June when he was a mess with failures. I think his mum bent his ear and said to his this is your dream career you need to focus and he stepped away from us. But that left me hanging. He dragged me back from work basically in May when he pulled the rug on the house. Now he's focused and say resits and passed, he seems me as he bad apple when it wasn't me at all.

He had time to chat new girls up why didn't he have the time to talk to me about what's gone on it's like he saw me as the obstacle when all I've done is wait around and tried to fight for what we had.

His family didn't know me properly nor the fun we had, because they never asked about me so he didn't tell them.

He spends his time between work and them now,meeting new girls, out partying with the lads. When he wanted to settle down and have a family like he's wanted for ages and all his friends are having babies and settling down too 😢

After four years and him wanting that I thought we could work it out but it seems they have got in his head so much that I've not even had chance 😢

It hurts so so so much as he won't even speak to me now either even over email he's just hostile if that now.

He said I was the best girl he'd been with as we had so much in common compared to all the other girls he's been out with, this was his 2nd serious long term relationship and now look 😢

He just seems to say everything happens for a reason. When the only reason was his family an external reason nothing to do with us. I don't even know why he won't meet me for closure either 😢

Only time that family is more important then your gf/bf is when you are in the Mafia.

I think there is more to this story then he told you.

Talk to him more.

I private messaged you looney toon you can access private messages when you view the site as full.

I know family meant alot to him and his friend said they will always mean more than a partner to him, but it's ridiclous at 34 as it's his relationships that fail