How do i become confident in situations like this?

I know that behind what I am about to write lies HUGE insecurity of mine, but I would really appreciate if you would help me out. The situation is also really hard to describe with words so I will try my best to tell and you just try to visualise everything.

I was waiting for the bus to meet my boyfriend of 1 yr, to go to some event togeather. The plan was that I just hop into the one he had entered before since we were supposed to go by that one anyways. When I entered, he was sitting on a seat which had an empty one next to it facing the two girls who were sitting across of him, facing his direction. When I saw him he was a tinyyyyy bit confused and i was too, i told him to move to the next one so that i could easily sit on his. He did as I said and for a minute he smiles SHYLY at me, emabarassed to kiss me, and waiting for me to initiate our “hello” kiss. In my head I was like “?” But the next second I noticed how beautiful the girl he was sitting across was. Immediatly I notice the whole mood and understand what had just happened. As we continued our journey, he would glance at her from second -to second. He is not a type that would stare but rather glance “unsignificantly” every 2 seconds at sb or sth. My mind immediatly starts to boil as i notice all of this as well as her glances back. I couldnt do anything it just felt horrible. He did put his arm around me but it still felt like they were eyeing each other and the second I entered and kissed him it was clear to her that he was in a relationship, and he was resisting to kiss me so that she wouldnt see that we are a couple. Two bus stops after a pregnant woman entered and as i stood up for her to sit just so i would get out of this situation, he did too. We moved to the back of the bus, but he was still facing her direction glancing at her through the crowd from time to time. The situation later turned out to be even funnier since she got out of the bus on the same station as we did to meet her boyfriend whom with she was going to the SAME EVENT AS WE DID.

Anyways, he would glance at her and go “her” direction after getting out of the bus but eventually we went separate ways. I brought this up to him, he denies staring at other girls and it always turns into me nagging and making a big fuss when I just want this to never happen again. I hate the fact that for that split second he wanted to hide our relationship just because of some irellevant unknown pretty girl that was checking him out. I dont know how to get this out of my head, since if this would happend again I dont know what would be the right thing to do and how to act on it. Please help❤️

You need to work on that HUGE insecurity of yours. That's the only way through. If you trust that you are valuable and worth being with then it won't effect you like this. But building self worth isn't easy. It's a life long thing. A therapist might help.

A reminder:

for that split second he wanted to hide our relationship just because of some irellevant unknown pretty girl that was checking him out.

You should remember that you are making assumptions. You seem really sure you know what is his head... even when he is telling you it's different. You project onto him all your fears and insecurities. But it isn't him that is making you feel like this. It's you.

I don't know, my feeling is that if you feel that he is genuinely doing this then that is enough to know that this is not a good relationship.

You have to did deep OP, does this happen in all your relationships indicating that perhaps you have a jealousy problem?

Or do you always pick guys that you feel ...inadequate with?

I've been in relationships where things like this always happened and I would question myself. And I've been in relationships where things like this never happened. The difference was in the guys I chose, not in me. I always had assumed I was a jealous insecure person. Now I realize that I'm not. I just kept choosing guys that I was never all that sure about.

he denies staring at other girls and it always turns into me nagging and making a big fuss when I just want this to never happen again.

Step 1: Stop doing this.

Step 2: If BF isn't trustworthy, find a better BF. If BF IS trustworthy, then stop policing him. There will always be other people in the world, and trying to control someone's eyesight is disrespectful and ridiculous. Any guy worth keeping will resent you and dump you. Control yourself instead of others.

At the same time I'd say that any decent boyfriend would have enough respect for his partner not to do that when he's sitting next to her.

At the same time I'd say that any decent boyfriend would have enough respect for his partner not to do that when he's sitting next to her.

I didn't get what he did, exactly.

When you're really into someone you don't generally notice other people let alone flirt with them. Of course, if a super hot woman enters the room everyone will notice but you don't keep looking in her direction every chance you get.