Confessing the Dirtiest Secret of mine!

I want to confess here, because I don't have guts to confess about it to the persons I have had lied.

I have never ever cleared my any single competitive exam. And these exams have given hits to me every time. These exams were making me realise how poor and incapable I am to even clear a simple exam.

I have lied that I was merit out twice to a few of my friends, in fact the fact is I never ever cleared the written exam forget about being merit out.

I lied about this to my ex as well when both of us were talking about (how I have been struggling to clear my exams to get a job) and how he had struggled to get a job, but none of us gave heed to it.

I know why I had lied. I lied because somewhere in my mind I was perhaps trying to ignore the fact that I am not smart, I was embarrassed about my failures which only and only my family and brother knows. Perhaps I was trying to impress those people. Trust me, I don't lie much, but this is the biggest lie, I have ever lied. But I am feeling so very bad about it. So many things keeps hovering in my mind. I shouldn't have done that, I know. And I neither want to confess anyone about it. Its just I want to apologise to everyone whom I have lied to, but trust me now I don't want to look back and keep regretting about it. I want to focus on present and I have stopped talking rubbish like this since long back. But it eats me up at times and my head starts aching and then I failed to focus on my studies.

Cleared an exam ??? Do you mean passed an exam

Ela forget about it love , you just tried to keep your dignity at a time when you needed to , you felt a failure and so stretched the truth ... But it is not like you told everyone you are about to embark on a journey to become a brain surgeon .

Don't look for things to punish yourself over ..

Cleared an exam ??? Do you mean passed an exam

 

Ela forget about it love , you just tried to keep your dignity at a time when you needed to , you felt a failure and so stretched the truth ... But it is not like you told everyone you are about to embark on a journey to become a brain surgeon .

 

Don't look for things to punish yourself over ..

Yes, cleared an exam mean passing.

Plus, yes, I had sort of said I am about to embark upon a new journey. This, lie I had said to save my relationship after break up. But later on I felt bad, to lie like this just to save a relationship which is totally broken and cannot be saved. And hence I said another lie that I didn't clear the medical and I am out.

Damn it! I am such (actually was) such a liar.

Yes, cleared an exam mean passing.

Plus, yes, I had sort of said I am about to embark upon a new journey. This, lie I had said to save my relationship after break up. But later on I felt bad, to lie like this just to save a relationship which is totally broken and cannot be saved. And hence I said another lie that I didn't clear the medical and I am out.

Damn it! I am such (actually was) such a liar.

oh Ela bless you , honestly it doesn't matter , but it is a good reminder to us all that one lie , then leads to another ,but your next lie was to undo the first lie , so you already knew in your heart that you wanted to stop the chain and had to fix it ....

Please don't tie yourself up in knots about this ..it is done , past , you are not a bad person , you clearly feel very uncomfortable about it all and that is very telling ! You are a good person , it is ok .

Aside from Math and Physics(and even these), every other subject has nothing to do with intelligence. It's just consistency and discipline. Failing to exams doesn't measure your IQ nor proves that you are not smart. It's really silly to think it this way.

The title was confusing though, I thought it would be something more ...spicy!

Aside from Math and Physics(and even these), every other subject has nothing to do with intelligence. It's just consistency and discipline. Failing to exams doesn't measure your IQ nor proves that you are not smart. It's really silly to think it this way.

 

The title was confusing though, I thought it would be something more ...spicy!

hahahaha I wondered what it was going to be as well , you saucy monkey

See Ela we thought we where about to read alsorts of dirt .. please don't do your head in any more over this ... I am tempted to spill some of my dirty secrets hahahaha just to make you feel better ....I would probably be on a life ban on here if I did .

hahahaha I wondered what it was going to be as well , you saucy monkey

 

See Ela we thought we where about to read alsorts of dirt .. please don't do your head in any more over this ... I am tempted to spill some of my dirty secrets hahahaha just to make you feel better ....I would probably be on a life ban on here if I did .

We shouldn't destroy OP's thread but please, I can't wait to hear. I want all the naughty details!

oh Ela bless you , honestly it doesn't matter , but it is a good reminder to us all that one lie , then leads to another ,but your next lie was to undo the first lie , so you already knew in your heart that you wanted to stop the chain and had to fix it ....

 

Please don't tie yourself up in knots about this ..it is done , past , you are not a bad person , you clearly feel very uncomfortable about it all and that is very telling ! You are a good person , it is ok .

Puppy, you're such an amazing person. You've always lifted me up whenever I have felt bad. You always see the good side of mine. You always make me realise that my sins aren't that hideous as I think they're. You've always told me that it's okay to be imperfect or have flaws.

Love you for your support and encouragement. You're indeed so very humble and gentle!

And apology for not so spicy confession

Aside from Math and Physics(and even these), every other subject has nothing to do with intelligence. It's just consistency and discipline. Failing to exams doesn't measure your IQ nor proves that you are not smart. It's really silly to think it this way.

 

The title was confusing though, I thought it would be something more ...spicy!

Hahahaha apology for not sharing the too much dirty spicy secret.

But this was eating me af unless I vent whole damn thing here. This issue is something serious to me. So needed to hear from you guys. At present this is the dirtiest secret of mine. I have never ever cheated or betrayed or got intimated to anyone so nothing spicy of that sort so far.

hahahaha I wondered what it was going to be as well , you saucy monkey

 

See Ela we thought we where about to read alsorts of dirt .. please don't do your head in any more over this ... I am tempted to spill some of my dirty secrets hahahaha just to make you feel better ....I would probably be on a life ban on here if I did .

I would rather PM you from now on. I mean whenever I'll feel low. Hahahha

Hope you shall not mind.

Hahahaha apology for not sharing the too much dirty spicy secret.

But this was eating me af unless I vent whole damn thing here. This issue is something serious to me. So needed to hear from you guys. At present this is the dirtiest secret of mine. I have never ever cheated or betrayed or got intimated to anyone so nothing spicy of that sort so far.

Really? This is your worst? In that case you qualify for sainthood. Now please stop beating yourself up for being human. I mean everyone gets embarrassed about failures and it's not really something you want to yell to the world from the rooftops.

Also, agree with Dias - exams are not testing your intelligence, only your test taking skills. I mean it really is that limited. So do yourself a favor, stop studying by yourself and go find some tutoring centers. Specifically ones that focus on teaching exam taking skills. Sit in on those as they usually teach those seminar style. Set feelings aside and get practical and pragmatic about this. Current approach isn't working, do something different. Get practical. There is a time and place for emotions, but right now is not the time or the place. It's ok to let yourself have pity party briefly, but if you let these negative emotions rule you, they'll destroy you. Better to get a firm grasp on them and get busy with practical solutions and if you don't know what they might be, start seeking them - exam self help, tutoring centers, online, etc., etc, etc. Information is out there and you've got to find what will work for you.

If you think that kind of thing is a true assessment of intelligence just look at Einstein and Tesla.

Also, most boring lie ever. Was wondering if you knocked off a bank or something.

If that is your worst I wouldn't be too worried...

Really? This is your worst? In that case you qualify for sainthood. Now please stop beating yourself up for being human. I mean everyone gets embarrassed about failures and it's not really something you want to yell to the world from the rooftops.

 

Also, agree with Dias - exams are not testing your intelligence, only your test taking skills. I mean it really is that limited. So do yourself a favor, stop studying by yourself and go find some tutoring centers. Specifically ones that focus on teaching exam taking skills. Sit in on those as they usually teach those seminar style. Set feelings aside and get practical and pragmatic about this. Current approach isn't working, do something different. Get practical. There is a time and place for emotions, but right now is not the time or the place. It's ok to let yourself have pity party briefly, but if you let these negative emotions rule you, they'll destroy you. Better to get a firm grasp on them and get busy with practical solutions and if you don't know what they might be, start seeking them - exam self help, tutoring centers, online, etc., etc, etc. Information is out there and you've got to find what will work for you.

Firstly, I really appreciate for your comment, really eye opening it is.

Secondly, I am already into my coaching classes for competitive exams, giving various online mock tests and I am now almost in rhythm. All I need is hell lots of practice, that's it.

Thirdly, I don't know why my past keeps haunting and giving me headaches. Most of the times I get over it, fight with it. But at times I get so tired that I start seeking help from you guys. From break up to going down in my career, hurts like I can't say.

I am positive about break up, but still I feel bad. Break up had affected me negatively in many areas. All the guilts, regrets, mistakes, bad decisions so far, at times make me feel as if I am the most horrible person alive on this earth.

If you think that kind of thing is a true assessment of intelligence just look at Einstein and Tesla.

 

Also, most boring lie ever. Was wondering if you knocked off a bank or something.

 

If that is your worst I wouldn't be too worried...

Hey thealchemist!

I am sorry for the title. I now understand my mistakes ain't that hideous as I think. Perhaps I am feeling way too bad or judging myself inappropriately or making things in my mind.

The lie indeed might sound most boring, but it was eating me like anything. I was feeling bad about lying things to others.

However, I really appreciate your comment, kicked me enough to forget what I did and focus what I do from now on.

When you think your life is crap, consider what social media would be like if people were actually honest about their life:

Reality: Forgot to dry my clothes, was late to work, boss yelled at me, client cussed me out over a mistake on their account, worried about getting fired. Was supposed to have a date after work, got stood up. Got home to find that dog has puked all over the new carpet because he chewed up my favorite shoes. Fridge is empty, so after cleaning up after the dog, need to drag myself out again to eat some place.

Social Media: OMG....out at this amazing restaurant having a blast. Pic of food. Food is amazing, life is grand, having soooo much fun!!!!!

Just keep that in mind.....nobody has a charmed life around you and we are here to remind you of that.

When you think your life is crap, consider what social media would be like if people were actually honest about their life:

 

Reality: Forgot to dry my clothes, was late to work, boss yelled at me, client cussed me out over a mistake on their account, worried about getting fired. Was supposed to have a date after work, got stood up. Got home to find that dog has puked all over the new carpet because he chewed up my favorite shoes. Fridge is empty, so after cleaning up after the dog, need to drag myself out again to eat some place.

 

Social Media: OMG....out at this amazing restaurant having a blast. Pic of food. Food is amazing, life is grand, having soooo much fun!!!!!

 

Just keep that in mind.....nobody has a charmed life around you and we are here to remind you of that.

 

Hahahaha I know nobody is happy with their life. But it's my mistakes in past which eat my peach of mind. I'll make sure not to think too.much.