Just looking for some support going through difficult times :(

Okay. So I have been with my girlfriend for over 4 years. We both graduated this year, and now she is at college. No clue why, but recently I have been like, really depressed about it. She came home every other weekend until now she is staying for an extra weekend because it is halloween and of course there are parties. She is so loyal, and i'm not TOO scared of her cheating, but it is still there. I have cheated on her by kissing someone else, and i told her about 2 weeks prior to her leaving. (she left beginning of September) and she was really hurt, and still is. She has told me she would never get "revenge" on me because that is so childish. We both love eachother a lot. It is just hard for me because she is moving on with her life, i'm so proud of her, i just wish i could be there and go through it with her. I took a year off before going to school so i'm just at home, working. I only went to her school to pick her up (1.5 hours away) but i really do not like parties so i don't go up there, rather she comes home. I have been really depressed the past few days and it is kind of scaring me because things i love doing (i love making music, that is what i want to do with my life), im unmotivated to do. I cant afford the gym but i have enough equipment to work out here at home. I have no friends really, because all my friends were a grade above me and they're all at college as well! Im really insecure, and have had depression and anxiety before but i stopped taking my pills when i felt better. I really miss her and i wont see her for about 9 more days which will feel like an eternity to me. I may be overthinking but my mind really twists things up and i want to hear another persons opinion on what i should do to stay away from being depressed. I am 19 years old and i want to spend the rest of my life with this girl. any advice is welcome!!!!

1. Get back on your meds. They only work if you take them.

2. Go up and spend Halloween weekend with your girlfriend. It doesn't matter if you don't like parties. SHE likes parties. Learn right now that part of being in a relationship is doing things you don't want to do, because it makes the other person happy.

3. Go visit your friends once a month. You need guy time. Otherwise, your girlfriend will continue to grow, you will continue to sink into depression and start pulling her down, then she will leave you.

I would definitely go up and spend Halloween with her, but I feel like she would not be down with that. Thank you for the advice!!

Why would she NOT want you to come? That seems worrisome...

Okay well i asked, and she said she would but shes going to UMass (a bigger school) to visit a friend and now im just really anxious and worried about it. Ugh.

You felt better because your meds were working -- there is no cure for what you have, you have to keep taking the meds to feel better. Going off them is a mistake and it takes a while for them to kick in again. Get back on your meds, contact your doctor and make more of an effort to have a life of your own -- make friends, make music and do something for others like volunteer work. You are being obsessive and depressed and you are doing nothing to improve your life. Get back on track.

I'm getting the impression that she didn't really plan anything with you, just decided she wanted to go do xyz for Halloween and now you're left to deal with your feelings, right??

I'm sorry to tell you, but the possibility is always there that this relationship could end. Same as the next one, and the next one. You just have to keep reminding yourself that what's going to happen will happen, and things will end up exactly how they're supposed to. If this relationship ends, it's because you were meant for a better one. You should do all you can do to make the relationship work, but accept that you can't force the other person to do the same.

Don't let yourself get into a downward spiral. Trust that whether things workout with girlfriend or not, things will work out for you, in one way or another.