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Thread: Should I bail?

  1. #1
    Member
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    Jan 2011
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    Should I bail?

    Hey all, My relationship with my gf of 7 months seems to have cooled considerably. We do the same thing every time we hang out (go to my place, watch a movie, she nods off, I give her a ride home).
    Things were better in the beginning...I had no question she wanted the relationship, was interested in the whole us thing, affectionate...
    Now...
    She just seems like a buddy. All she does is joke around/play pranks, asks random questions about random things, and when I answer these questions she just sounds annoyed or gives off a vibe like I should not have answered.
    Which really annoys me because I'm just trying to converse with her, but it seems like she just wants to hear herself talk, maybe?
    I'm thinking I may need to bail. I do all of the heavy lifting: I pay for the majority of all we do, I drive us everywhere 90% of the time (including picking her up and dropping her off), we always hang out at my place (only been to her place one time for like ten minutes), I'm the affectionate one, I've even tried to help her out with some debt she has by helping her pay a minimum once...
    Side bar: She's a single mom and we work at the same place (how we met) and she makes more than me, but has debt crawling out of the roof via multiple cc's when she was younger.
    I'm thinking I may need to vanish. She has all this baggage, doesn't seem to have any real need or want for a boyfriend, and treats EVERYTHING like it's a joke ALL OF THE TIME. Its fine to clown, I'm for it, but all day everyday...? Even my buddies aren't like that. We clown a lot, but we connect at times too, thats how you build a relationship with people.
    What do you guys/gals think?

  2. #2
    Silver Member
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    Nov 2016
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    It does sound like the relationship has run its course. I would sit her down and see what she thinks. I wouldn't just vanish, tempting as it may be. Tell her how you feel. Give her an opportunity to weigh in. Leave if you don't like the answers - you deserve to be in relationship that satisfies your needs.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    Sounds as if you're looking for someone to agree with you that you should break up.
    And if you're asking, you already know the answer.

    Try and be just friends, because that's what it appears to be anyway.

  4. #4
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    Oct 2017
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    Just keep in mind breakup is like button for nuclear bomb launch.

    It will set new set of pain you can only imagine, it will bring so much irrational things into your life, it will make both miserable probably.

    I won't say what's good for you, but I've seen too much people breaking up and then they just opened a Pandora's Box.

    My major breakup with this great girl was over stupid thing (her friends claiming I was jelaous) and she broke up.

    Now we are both in major pain. Mission acomplished. It's better to have a sit down.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member
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    I would just talk with her about her not really giving much to the relationship and that you pay for everything and take her out everywhere. I have met some women that will just take and take and take.... Maybe she does not have much money? But still...Even if she does not have much money, has she made dinner or anything recently? That's not that expensive...I personally now only date woman that are givers.... As long as that person has a job, I feel that I should not be the only one contributing here and there...

  7. #6
    Member
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    Jan 2011
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    Thank you for all the feedback. I just confronted her about it during our lunch. It ended up being a weird miscommunication issue. She's less reactive than I and tends to hold things in rather than speak on it. I'm hoping this clears things up. Thanks again.

  8. #7
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Posts
    479
    It's good you had a talk. Hopefully you will see a change and find the relationship satisfying again. Good luck.


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