Asking for my bestfriend

My bestfriend is dealing with something right now, and wanted me to ask you guys for advice.

She is 19 years old, and has had a major crush on this 5 years older guy, for a long time. They started following each other on Instagram a couple of months ago, and then he suddenly DM’d her. The first time they met, they had sex, and after that they have been meeting up almost everyday. He always gives her compliments, and claims her when they are out in public. He even gets sad or irritated when she has other plans or can’t sleep over one night. He even booked a three-day trip for them to another country, and is paying for everything.

The problem Here is that he always talks about his good friends that are girls, he mentions it a lot. It can also go 1-2 days before they even talk again, and he doesnt really text her first or even asks how she is. She is very confused by this, because she really wants a relationship with this guy. Based on What I have written, What do you think his intentions are? And should she ask him What they are?

He sounds immature and insecure. He has issues. People like this can become toxic so your friend needs to be careful. Even if he has good intentions, a relationship with many ups and downs is not healthy. Drama is not healthy. She needs to learn to set boundaries and ask what she wants. She should ask him what they are. If they are having sex, she has every right to know. She also needs to discuss with him openly all the behaviors that are bothering her. Healthy relationships are about COMMUNICATION, trust and respect. If he keeps neglecting these aspects then your friend should walk. Toxic relationships are bad for the soul.

Well, I could imagine she would be feeling confused. It is important I would say to get to know somebody's values and know if they are upright etc, before sleeping with them....otherwise you would just develop feelings for them and it could just be a big mess.....

So....yeah, there is a great chance this guy sleeps with lots of girls and direct messages other girls .....

So she's 19.

He's 24.

As a 24 year old, I would have zero interest in someone below the age of 21. Why? Because the maturity gap between 19 and 24 is crazy. It's only 5 years, but it's also the period in time where people change drastically. There's a few points in time in our lives this happens, the whole gap from 19 to 24 is definitely one of them. Tell your friend she should date people more around her age, guys who are 24 aren't going to be actually serious about dating 19 year olds. I'm sorry but that's the general reality. From what you're saying it sounds like he's excited to have hooked a 19 year old who clearly is infatuated with him. It's an easy pull, and he's only now noticed her when she's grown up and is something he physically is interested in. Guys like this are smooth talkers, and I'm sorry for your friend but the best advice I can give her as a 24 year old is to drop him. He's using her and he's putting her on a silver platter in front of everyone because she's a trophy and she feels special, then occupies his time with other people because having a relationship with her is not really on the table for him. She's 19. Splashing cash, taking her out, complimenting her, being possessive, etc.. then not even texting her or caring about her day? No, that's not normal "I'm 24 and I like you" behavior from a dude. Your friend needs to get over the guy and not be apart of his web, no shame to his game, but it is a game and she's playing her part perfectly for him right now.

His intentions are exactly what he is showing them to be - to use, control, and manipulate a young naive girl as is convenient for him. My advice for your friend is RUUUUN, but I'm guessing she'll have to get burned pretty badly by this toxic guy before she learns that what he is doing is a huge problem. For one, possessiveness and jealousy are flashing neon signs for "RUUUUUN for dear life and don't leave a forwarding address either"....but I suspect your friend will have to learn this the hard way.