Was I wrong to sleep with someone else? Why is she so upset?

Hey, everyone. I had this really rocky fwb relationship with this girl for a year. We dated for like a month in the beginning but we realized we weren't good together and became fwb. It was always really rocky and she broke things off a lot. During these "break-ups", I would chat up and sometimes bed other girls and she would sometimes bed her ex.

Recently I really started getting strong feelings for her. I always had them, but they were definitely stronger and more "real". Like, I was starting to imagine her as my wife "real". I told her all this and she always rejected me, saying something like "No! We're good as fwb. We're never going to date." and I just accepted it.

One night we got into a REALLY bad fight and she broke things off completely and had me blocked from everything. Made it crystal clear she never wanted anything to do with me again. I was hurt but I'm a naturally resilient person. I'm not the kind of person to sit around and mope. So, the next day, I called up a really sexy girl I met and we spent all night in bed.

We (the fwb and I) started talking again and I told her this and she quite literally crumbled. "HOW could you even DO that?!!!" she was almost hysterical. She was extremely upset that I slept with someone else so soon after she cut me off when I told her I had strong feelings for her. She said she felt like my feelings for her were a lie. But my question is, why does she care? She made it clear she had no feelings for me so why do mine for her matter?

Was I wrong? Maybe there's something that I can't see. I guess she wanted me to sit around and cry over her or something?

Welcome to ENA. I think your FWB relationship with her has run its course. They usually do. I've never met anyone who has said something like, "my FWB and I have been together for 20 years." Things just eventually fall apart, one way or the other. I don't know what she expected from you, but I think it's probably best to cut things off for good and focus on new prospects in your life. good luck.

Telling another girl you are doing another girl is probably the worst thing you could have done. Did you just tell her that you had another sex partner while you were in no contact or did she ask you if you did? If she didn't ask you, why would you be so insensitive? How did you start talking again if she blocked you?

When she got mad at you for getting with the other girl, why didn't you tell her that she can't suck and blow at the same time and either she wants you in an exclusive relationship or you get to exercise your options?

Bottom line is you're wasting your life on this one. FWB should be over the minute it gets this complicated and confusing.

She unblocked me and we started talking again. One day out of curiosity she asked me if I'd ever slept with with a certain type of girl and I told her I had. Then she asked when and I told her the truth.

I didn't even get a chance to tell her anything, she completely blocked me again.

I know it's basically run its course but I genuinely care about this girl and I really want her in my life. Even if not as a fwb although if she told me she wanted to date, I'd say yes in a heartbeat.

She unblocked me and we started talking again. One day out of curiosity she asked me if I'd ever slept with with a certain type of girl and I told her I had. Then she asked when and I told her the truth.

 

I didn't even get a chance to tell her anything, she completely blocked me again.

 

I know it's basically run its course but I genuinely care about this girl and I really want her in my life. Even if not as a fwb although if she told me she wanted to date, I'd say yes in a heartbeat.

She's not ever going to be your life mate. You'd do well to actually block and delete her so she can't hoover you back in for more using you.

There's a catch to FWB that most seem to forget.

You're friends. You are not in a committed relationship.

If it's agreed upon that you just have sex with one another, then fine.

If it's never discussed, it means both are free to also have sex with whomever else.

When one starts catching feelings and wants more, and the other doesn't, then it's time to end it.

She clearly is suffering from a bruised ego. Let her go. She didn't want anything more.

Why so many breakups? Once, shame on you, twice shame on me, as the saying goes.

She unblocked me and we started talking again. One day out of curiosity she asked me if I'd ever slept with with a certain type of girl and I told her I had. Then she asked when and I told her the truth.

 

I didn't even get a chance to tell her anything, she completely blocked me again.

 

I know it's basically run its course but I genuinely care about this girl and I really want her in my life. Even if not as a fwb although if she told me she wanted to date, I'd say yes in a heartbeat.

If she were on ENA, I'd admonish her for asking questions to which she might not want to hear the answer. You were truthful. You didn't have to be. It might have been wiser to not answer that question at all, or not truthfully. Then again, I know that you were FWB so honesty was probably part of your relationship, which is a good thing. Anyway, I think that you tried - you told her your feelings and she said no. You met someone else, you did nothing wrong.

ThatwasThen - I'll have to remember that one, "you can't suck and blow at the same time"!!! hahaha!