Facebook share
LinkedIn share
Google plus share
Twitter plus share
Give Advice
Ask For Advice
Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: 14 months after break up

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    22

    14 months after break up

    14 months after break up and 7 months no contact. We were together for 3.5 years and were living together. It ended pretty sour. There's a post somewhere with the last text I sent him, which looking back was melodramatic and spiteful and not even well written, but my pain and agony came across loud and clear.

    I was doing pretty well for a while. I've turned my life around. But recently (the past few weeks), I have been thinking about him a lot. Part of this is that I can still see his posts on Facebook and Instagram. I have deleted him as a friend, but find myself checking his feed anyway. I am some what lonely, but am not interested in dating still. I've been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and am focusing 100% of my energy and time on healing and recovering and hopefully putting the disease into remission.

    I dream of contacting him to "clear the air", but my worst fear is that he won't respond or won't care. It also pains me to think that he doesn't ever think about me anymore. He's moved on and is living his own life. He travels a lot and has a lot of fun, so there's that too - I am jealous of his ability to move around and have new experiences, while I am staying put (although I would love to be taking more trips and doing new things)...I am doing so much hard work on myself to heal and over come a lot of my issues.

    I guess I'm not really asking a question, just venting and feeling sad about the whole thing all over again. One day I feel fine about it. The next day, I go through every emotion when I think of it: sad, angry, lonely, jealous, resolve, acceptance, longing and missing him and on and on. It changes every day almost. Wondering if it will ever go away at this point - I know it will - I just didn't think it would take this long. I'm in therapy, thank goodness.

    Any input regarding moving on, acceptance, being more present and even possibly contacting him (would this make me feel better, even if he didn't respond? Maybe.)

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2017
    Location
    Boston, MA
    Age
    63
    Posts
    4,747
    Gender
    Male
    You should stop reading his social media feeds. They just bring up bad memories and keep you from moving on. It's been over for a year. Take care of yourself and look for someone new.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Posts
    171
    Definitely stop the social media stalking. I've mentioned in other threads that I've incentivised not looking at my ex's. If I get to my holiday without looking I'm buying some expensive make up at the airport

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    2
    Gender
    Male
    I couldn't agree more with the responses above. I turned a corner a week ago or so and I was feeling great. Then I installed messenger and she started showing up in my active users list, even though we were never FB friends. That's all it took for me to start feeling like sh*t again. If you want to heal, maintain strict NC. There's no other way, in my opinion.

  5.  

  6. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    620
    Originally Posted by MilesToGo
    I couldn't agree more with the responses above. I turned a corner a week ago or so and I was feeling great. Then I installed messenger and she started showing up in my active users list, even though we were never FB friends. That's all it took for me to start feeling like sh*t again. If you want to heal, maintain strict NC. There's no other way, in my opinion.
    Same thing here. Every time I was making progress in recovering and moving on, I'd go out on FB and set myself back a month in terms of progress. Social media is a quick and easy way to drive your anxiety through the roof.

    Block the ex and disable the account so no mutual friends (especially the ones with big mouths - the ones that can't stay out of your business) can't check up on you for that ex you're trying to leave behind/recover from.

    People who care about you and need to get a hold of you can CALL YOU ON THE PHONE.


Give Advice
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •