Don’t know how to feel about this

I’ve met this girl from work which I’ve seen out 2 times never alone but with other work mates. Both times we made out but never went the whole 9 yards. This girl is 42 and I am 36. She has been enjoying the single life for a while and has the reputation of being a playerette and is a 10 out 10. A month has past and we have a little flirt or the naughty text a couple of times a week. I finally couldn’t hold my feelings in anymore so I asked if she had feeling for me to which she replied “ I don’t have a thing for you or anyone else. But I enjoyed hanging out with you and kiss you”

So I’m trying to work out how to interpret that. Is she telling me to try harder or was I just another fork in the road?

Ladies please help

I suggest you take her words at face value and quit boosting her ego. You can do that by NOT responding to her come hither BS.

You work with her, can you even imagine what a mess fooling around with her would create? I also suggest you put the kybosh on kissing her because she's just going to eff with your head even more then she already is if you keep this up with her.

I am emotionally invested in this. That’s why I feel that I’ve come too far to just walk from this. I know it sounds stupid but I’ve never been attracted to a female is this way

You have heard her reputation as a "player" and she already told you point blank she does not have any particular feelings for you.

 

There is nothing to interpret here.

 

You are just too emotionally invested in this, we all understand. But your energy is perhaps better spent somewhere else.

I am emotionally invested in this. That’s why I feel that I’ve come too far to just walk from this. I know it sounds stupid but I’ve never been attracted to a female is this way

You're going to screw up YOURSELF if you keep letting her play you like you're a fender telecaster.

I’ve never had to deal with this kinda of feeling before. I tried the whole giving he space a work then she tell me that I’m running away from her at work. So confused

You Sound worked up about this. It’s ok it what I need to hear

You Sound worked up about this. It’s ok it what I need to hear

Sorry, just find it hard to believe that you'd let someone play you like she is. Tell her you're not interested next time she comes onto you. You're not made of the stuff it takes to have a casual sexual relationship particularly since you're already thinking you're "emotionally invested." Stop giving her any attention. If she says "you're running away from me" turn around and leave. Give her zero attention.

Your right. I shouldn’t have let myself get into this situation. I kinda just happened without me noticing. I was all excited that this total glamour was interest in me. By far the hottest girl that I’ve been around and I’m not exaggerating ethier. I reckon I’m a 6 out 10 but my personality gives me the extra points

She's not a girl, she's a grown woman.

It sounds like she's communicating clearly that she's not interested in anything else with you, so I'd take that at face value and move onto other dating prospects.

Your right. I shouldn’t have let myself get into this situation. I kinda just happened without me noticing. I was all excited that this total glamour was interest in me. By far the hottest girl that I’ve been around and I’m not exaggerating ethier. I reckon I’m a 6 out 10 but my personality gives me the extra points

Well, I don't know you but I'm pretty certain that you deserve more then what an attention W**** is willing to give you.

Heed her words... "“ I don’t have a thing for you or anyone else." Her reputation proceeds her. pfffft

You are really good at this. You have managed to pull my head in in 30min. Who would of thought you would be helping a guy from Australia today. I think I need to make you my personal relationship doctor lol

U on Facebook ?

You are really good at this. You have managed to pull my head in in 30min. Who would of thought you would be helping a guy from Australia today. I think I need to make you my personal relationship doctor lol

U on Facebook ?

No... I'm not on any social media but it's good to hear you're coming to your senses. *two thumbs up*

 

I was all excited that this total glamour was interest in me. By far the hottest girl that I’ve been around and I’m not exaggerating ethier. I reckon I’m a 6 out 10 but my personality gives me the extra points

So much for the myth that women over 40 are "over the hill" in the looks dept. lol

Or that women start "losing their looks" in their 30s.

I agree with others, since you're so invested probably best to toss this one back, but at least this thread has broken the stereotype that women over 40 are 'old unattractive hags' as some men on this forum have professed!

As you daydream about her, she's flirting with many other guys, inside or outside of work, letting them kiss her and hang out with her and some of them may even feel the way you do. You probably pass a guy on a corridor who used to be you, and you pass a guy who will be the next you after she loses her interest in you.

OK, so you messed up by asking if she had feelings for you right away..... I bet a lot of women here will say I am wrong about what I am going to say, but trust me, what a woman says she likes in men can be totally different than actions....

So....here it goes....

If a woman is drop-dead gorgeous, she will be getting hit on by guys non stop....She could go out for a weekend and get 10 numbers....but does she have time to date all 10 guys in a week? Nope...so she will have to make some short cuts...

Basically, a woman like that will want a strong and centred guy that is not all over her like all the others. Women like mystery, the anticipation etc. etc. Just laying all your cards down on the table before you really have a chance to get to know eachother ruins this anticipation and she will maybe consider it weak...but trust me....I know exactly how you feel....I too would have like gorgeous models with phds like wanting to make out with me etc...and you are thinking to yourself....damn...how did this happen?

But here is the thing....it is all in your mind. Why did it happen? Why not!

Most women do not want a guy that appears to be clingy and needy and uncertain..... When you ask a girl where you stand with her, unfortunately, this is what will be projected to her...

Instead...you have to come from a mindset of ABUNDANCE...not scarcity....When you come from a mindset of abundance, well, you will realize there are plenty of attractive women anywhere you could date...when you come from a place of fear, well you unfortunately will project this in your behaviour and it will unfortunately lead to rejection in most cases...

Another question....just because this woman is super hot, what makes ya think she would be worthy of your time? See..... maybe she wouldn't be loyal, maybe she doesn't have the same values etc. etc....

If you really want another chance with this girl, your best bet is to just not focus on her, and just have a great time with her next time she is out....just be positive around people and they will associate those feelings with ya....So just take your time....another thing to keep in mind is that women take much much much much longer than guys to develop strong feelings...

Most guys after like a first date with a drop dead gorgeous girl will already by thinking of marriage and kids But with women, no way! You gotta think of it like baking a cake in an oven...it takes time for it to be done...if you keep on opening the oven door and say "are you ready yet...are you ready yet?" it wont get baked

OK, so you messed up by asking if she had feelings for you right away..... I bet a lot of women here will say I am wrong about what I am going to say, but trust me, what a woman says she likes in men can be totally different than actions....

 

So....here it goes....

 

If a woman is drop-dead gorgeous, she will be getting hit on by guys non stop....She could go out for a weekend and get 10 numbers....but does she have time to date all 10 guys in a week? Nope...so she will have to make some short cuts...

 

Basically, a woman like that will want a strong and centred guy that is not all over her like all the others. Women like mystery, the anticipation etc. etc. Just laying all your cards down on the table before you really have a chance to get to know eachother ruins this anticipation and she will maybe consider it weak...but trust me....I know exactly how you feel....I too would have like gorgeous models with phds like wanting to make out with me etc...and you are thinking to yourself....damn...how did this happen?

 

But here is the thing....it is all in your mind. Why did it happen? Why not!

 

Most women do not want a guy that appears to be clingy and needy and uncertain..... When you ask a girl where you stand with her, unfortunately, this is what will be projected to her...

 

Instead...you have to come from a mindset of ABUNDANCE...not scarcity....When you come from a mindset of abundance, well, you will realize there are plenty of attractive women anywhere you could date...when you come from a place of fear, well you unfortunately will project this in your behaviour and it will unfortunately lead to rejection in most cases...

 

Another question....just because this woman is super hot, what makes ya think she would be worthy of your time? See..... maybe she wouldn't be loyal, maybe she doesn't have the same values etc. etc....

 

If you really want another chance with this girl, your best bet is to just not focus on her, and just have a great time with her next time she is out....just be positive around people and they will associate those feelings with ya....

Say whaaat...? Have you been exposed to too much PUA/alpha male mumbo jambo?

The woman in question is not looking for an exclusive relationship, even if the guy had a game like James Bond.

Say whaaat...? Have you been exposed to too much PUA/alpha male mumbo jambo?

The woman in question is not looking for an exclusive relationship, even if the guy had a game like James Bond.

Nah, I just know what most women are looking for in men with my experience. Anyways, even if a woman is not seeking an exclusive relationship, if you act needy and clingy and blow up her phone (not saying OP ever did this), this definitely won't help...I actually don't even know what PUA means....but it is about a mindset of abundance versus scarcity....and what you focus on you attract....

I really recommend the book Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins if anyone's interested

Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins is bull. Tony Robbins is a great businessman, not a great source of psychological knowledge. He's great at selling his product, and someone that wants to have a similarly operating business might learn a lot from him. But his teaching are ego boosters and not actual life truths.

Not saying that everybody likes people who are overly needy or clingy - secure is always the best option. But I'd take a genuinely needy person any day over an insecure person who read online that they should act like they don't care about me, so they hang around with other women in front of me, think about whether to pick up phone, or not... all that boring mind games.

And looking available is not the same thing as being needy. Actually, a man showing some interest and emotional investment is a total turn on.

And asking someone after some flirting where you stand with that person and what are the options here isn't needy either, just pretty normal.

OK, so you messed up by asking if she had feelings for you right away..... I bet a lot of women here will say I am wrong about what I am going to say, but trust me, what a woman says she likes in men can be totally different than actions....

 

So....here it goes....

 

If a woman is drop-dead gorgeous, she will be getting hit on by guys non stop....She could go out for a weekend and get 10 numbers....but does she have time to date all 10 guys in a week? Nope...so she will have to make some short cuts...

 

Basically, a woman like that will want a strong and centred guy that is not all over her like all the others. Women like mystery, the anticipation etc. etc. Just laying all your cards down on the table before you really have a chance to get to know eachother ruins this anticipation and she will maybe consider it weak...but trust me....I know exactly how you feel....I too would have like gorgeous models with phds like wanting to make out with me etc...and you are thinking to yourself....damn...how did this happen?

 

But here is the thing....it is all in your mind. Why did it happen? Why not!

 

Most women do not want a guy that appears to be clingy and needy and uncertain..... When you ask a girl where you stand with her, unfortunately, this is what will be projected to her...

 

Instead...you have to come from a mindset of ABUNDANCE...not scarcity....When you come from a mindset of abundance, well, you will realize there are plenty of attractive women anywhere you could date...when you come from a place of fear, well you unfortunately will project this in your behaviour and it will unfortunately lead to rejection in most cases...

 

Another question....just because this woman is super hot, what makes ya think she would be worthy of your time? See..... maybe she wouldn't be loyal, maybe she doesn't have the same values etc. etc....

 

If you really want another chance with this girl, your best bet is to just not focus on her, and just have a great time with her next time she is out....just be positive around people and they will associate those feelings with ya....So just take your time....another thing to keep in mind is that women take much much much much longer than guys to develop strong feelings...

 

Most guys after like a first date with a drop dead gorgeous girl will already by thinking of marriage and kids But with women, no way! You gotta think of it like baking a cake in an oven...it takes time for it to be done...if you keep on opening the oven door and say "are you ready yet...are you ready yet?" it wont get baked

Although I am still of the opinion that the OP is in it too deep emotionally to be confident in his strategy... I agree with most of the dogma you've mentioned above. Intriguing and confident is far more attractive (to most of us gals) then some guy who puts too much pressure on moving forward after not even really going on a proper date.

Op's focus is on a woman that has some issues (by all accounts) so it's best he distance himself from her and work that 'magic' you mention above on someone new and not full of herself to the point she plays with her 'prey.'

So much for the myth that women over 40 are "over the hill" in the looks dept. lol

 

Or that women start "losing their looks" in their 30s.

 

I agree with others, since you're so invested probably best to toss this one back, but at least this thread has broken the stereotype that women (as well as some men) over 40 are 'old unattractive hags' as some men on this forum have professed!

Well, SOME women in their 40's could very well be old unattractive hags. The one the Op is on about just happens to not be one of them lol

Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins is bull.

Well, that is your opinion and you know what they say about opinions

If it wasn't for that book I probably would not be where I am today with owning my own company. Also, my mentor who is a celebrity on Youtube with several multi-million dollar companies recommended his work to me, especially the emphasis on being GRATEFUL. His work not only applies to business, but also for relationships. I highly recommend it!

I decided since I love y'all here, I would like to show ya a little trick that profoundly made a difference in my life, so try it out each morning for about 10 minutes

Our life experience is based on what we focus on. The following questions are

designed to cause you more happiness, excitement, pride, gratitude, joy,

commitment, and love every day of your life. Remember, quality questions create a

quality life.

Come up with two or three answers to all of these questions and feel fully

associated. If you have difficulty discovering an answer simply add the word

“could.” Example: “What could I be most happy about in my life right now?”

1.

What am I happy about in my life right now?

What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel?

2.

What am I excited about in my life right now?

What about that makes me excited? How does that make me feel?

3.

What am I proud about in my life right now?

What about that makes me proud? How does that make me feel?

4.

What am I grateful about in my life right now?

What about that makes me grateful? How does that make me feel?

5.

What am I enjoying most in my life right now?

What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?

6.

What am I committed to in my life right now?

What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?

7.

Who do I love? Who loves me?

What about that makes me loving? How does that make me feel?

========

After about 10 minutes or so you should feel a bit better Anyway, from my experience, we are all really capable of doing great things, it is just a matter of having the right mindset and focus......Let me know if it works for ya

Oh and also, kinda relating back to OP's question....I also think it has a lot to do with the vibe you give off....so if you have a feeling that things are going for ya, you are positive, centered, etc...well you will naturally attract likewise people...and you'd also have a better chance on meeting the girl of your dreams....

I agree with some of the other comments, that maybe this person wouldn't be the best option for ya....but still...I completely know where you are coming from....I had this drop dead gorgeous girl come to me the other weekend and try and makeout with me and then she even invited me to a trip with her....but after considering everything....I know deep down that it's not the right path for me to take and I would not be happy in the long term....So just focus on what kind of woman you would want and you will eventually find her