Need support to break up with him

Hello,

Basically, to cut a long story short, ive been seeing a guy for 10 months and the past 5/6 months he has been treating me like dog crap but i was too blind to see it. I believed his excuses for not pursuing a relationship with me(strict parents-turns out not so strict), he would use my insecurities and weaknesses to his advantage (fear of being abandoned, cant stand being deliberately ignored), he would be sweet and caring when he wanted something(recently persuaded me to spend £50 on him, in exchage for him to come and see me for a couple of hours), he would go days ignoring me because of issues i wasnt involved with, he would only see me when it suited him (mostly for sex) and he would never put me first. He would have ago at me when i asked to see him, he would get nasty and say horrible thi gs when he is angry (angry at kther people, not me) You get the point.

My friends have been trying to get me to end it for months but i thought i loved him. Ive come to my senses but i dont know how to do it. Were not in a relationship and he is currently taking abot 5 hours to reply to each message after ignoribg me for 2 days. He also has his coat at my place. I dont think i can do it in person as selfish as it is, im scared ill chicken out. Im also scared of regretting my decisuon and hating myself for it. I dont think I can get any more bogged down and upset by him but im scared.

Just looking for advice and support

TY

A) don't feel bad

B) give his coat to someone else to return to him

C) dump him over text. Since he takes so long to reply and ignores you for days, he deserves it.

I never recommend this, I think it's rude. But given the treatment you've gotten, he doesn't

care about you anyway.

Good luck ;0)

A) don't feel bad

B) give his coat to someone else to return to him

C) dump him over text. Since he takes so long to reply and ignores you for days, he deserves it.

I never recommend this, I think it's rude. But given the treatment you've gotten, he doesn't

care about you anyway.

 

Good luck ;0)

I dont know sny of his friends or family personally, he never introduced me

Pack his coat in a box and mail it to him. Text him that it's over, tell him you are done. Then block and delete him from being able to contact you. He sounds like a dreadful person, using you for his own interests. You can do better.

I sent him a message saying "do you want to keep seeing me because it doesnt seem like youre interested" and he said ye of course I do. Im stuck on what to say im too scared

I dont know sny of his friends or family personally, he never introduced me

10 months and you were never introduced? He never planned on keeping you around as a serious gf, smh.

Surely you know where he works or lives? Have one of your friends return it.

Or mail it but personally I wouldn't waste a dime on him.

I sent him a message saying "do you want to keep seeing me because it doesnt seem like youre interested" and he said ye of course I do. Im stuck on what to say im too scared

 

 

I've been in this situation.

Actions mean everything, not words.

 

He's not treating you well, not putting in effort.

Please let him go before he lets go of you completely.

I know the comoany he works fir but theres about 3 in the area. As for shere he lives, I only because I seen his signpost in a picture, he diesnt know i know. Ive been stupid and taken for a ride, I know

I sent him a message saying "do you want to keep seeing me because it doesnt seem like youre interested" and he said ye of course I do. Im stuck on what to say im too scared

 

This is not ending it is it ...of course he is just going to say that , you pay him for the pleasure of his company , he gets a shag when he needs one and doesn't have to treat you with any respect in the interim ....so not only did he have most of your power , you have just handed him the remainder , he literally doesn't have to do anything except exist and you are there for him .

 

When someone abuses you and you start to recognise it then only you can be held responsible for what happens next ,

I know the comoany he works fir but theres about 3 in the area. As for shere he lives, I only because I seen his signpost in a picture, he diesnt know i know. Ive been stupid and taken for a ride, I know

You're not stupid.

You have been ignoring some red flags though, but it's so difficult to see when you're involved.

Only when you distance yourself do you realize the truth.

Please leave this guy alone. As a mom, I'm telling you the same I'd say to my own daughter.

Hold on , all of your other threads are saying your FBW is moving to Germany , should you stay with him till he goes ....no mention of this , and then that you are desperate for a baby ...

This how you described what you have together

Now, the past month or so things have been different with him. Sex has been incredibly more intimate, without being crude we have been love making, not f******. , we are more affectinate towards one another (I always held back before recently, thinking it was too much), he visits me more often, we buy each other gifts, he is more open with me etc etc. I thought maybe it was just me who noticed these things so I mentioned it one night and he said he felt it too.

He is moving to Germany early next year. And the baby thibg, im getting help with tbat. I had a weak moment and needed help.

This isnt relevant

Like i said.. its only recently ive realised the whole "relationship" is toxic and im holding on to nothing. I just dont know how to get out

He is moving to Germany early next year. And the baby thibg, im getting help with tbat. I had a weak moment and needed help.

 

This isnt relevant

Yes it is , because you describe him as one thing in about 4 threads and now suddenly announce he treats you like crap ... and he is going anyway ...

Im well aware what I said

I dont know what point youre making. In my last threads I was completely smitten by him. Of course I knew he could have treated me a little better but ive opened my eyes the past few years and realised how bad ive let it get. In my last posts i thought I was falling for him, im going to be biased. Im human

Im well aware what I said

All other threads are important context.

He is moving, so just tell him you're not interested in a LDR. You have an easy out.

I sent him a message saying "do you want to keep seeing me because it doesnt seem like youre interested" and he said ye of course I do. Im stuck on what to say im too scared

 

Really? Scared of what? Of course he'd say he wants to keep seeing you. You give him money, you have sex with him. Why wouldn't he want to hang out with you? You give him what he wants at your expense. Time to grow a backbone and dump this guy. You can do better. You deserve better.

Like i said.. its only recently ive realised the whole "relationship" is toxic and im holding on to nothing. I just dont know how to get out

You've been told how to get out. You could completely ignore him from here on in by blocking and deleting him from contacting you ever again or you can text him and say it's over and then block and delete him. Two valid choices. Stop being such a pushover.

I dont know what point youre making. In my last threads I was completely smitten by him. Of course I knew he could have treated me a little better but ive opened my eyes the past few years and realised how bad ive let it get. In my last posts i thought I was falling for him, im going to be biased. Im human

This was 12 days ago that you said all that ... And he doesn't want a LDR , so you was just trying to work out if you should see him until he goes , because once he does it is over anyway .

And.. what is your point? Youre just feeding me back my own thread

The point is that your threads create a clearer picture of this non-relationship. It gives important context clues, even to you, because you seem to be minimizing your own words and thoughts.

Send him a text and tell him it's done. There's no point dragging this out any further, as he clearly isn't invested anyway. He doesn't care, and neither should you now.

What do you mean you don't know how to get out? Yes you do, just end it. Send him a text that it's over. Why would you regret it? He is no prize, he is a jerk!! Why would you let him treat you bad? Have respect for yourself and end it and stop all contact! It is very simple but you are making it hard.

You've been told how to get out. You could completely ignore him from here on in by blocking and deleting him from contacting you ever again or you can text him and say it's over and then block and delete him. Two valid choices. Stop being such a pushover.

Exactly! It is easy, you are making it hard.

This relationship does seem like it's toxic and he has been treating you badly . All your friends have said it as well. Perhaps the reason you don't want to end it as you will still miss the bread crumbs you do get from him if perhaps you have low self esteem and part of you feels all you deserve is to be treated this way . If he is moving away soon then it will be over anyways which is a blessing as it is done for you but if you want to be strong here and stand up for yourself then send him a text or an email explaining your decision and then block him. He hasn't put much effort into this relationship so he isn't going to care that you didn't do it in person . You mentioned he has a coat at yours that is his business . If he gives you instructions on where to post it then do that but otherwise I wouldn't be worrying about it . I've put up too with crap from men and dragged out relationships when I should have stood up for myself and walked away and not stayed there until they finally left me . The choice is yours .