I don't feel it anymore

I'm in a 5months long relationship with my girlfriend and over these 5 months we've managed to see eachother only once a week. AT the beginning I was okay with it and was really starting to have feelings for her, was caring and all that stuff. But now, as the time goes, I feel completely opposite of that. I care less and less, I'm becoming more distant, I'm becoming cold because I can't fake being in love when I'm f*cking not.

The problem is she really likes me and I don't know how to do the breaking up without looking like a heartless bastard. But I guess It's better for both of us If I break up now than to go around and start seeing other women while still being in a relationship with this one.

Just man up and do it.

She might be crushed but you owe it to her to be honest.

You cannot force love, it is either or it isn't.

Be honest. Say you aren't feeling like the relationship will continue to grow.

That the spark is missing. You care for her as a person, but don't wish to continue

being in the relationship.

There's nothing worse than lying about a reason, or just disappearing, so be upfront.

Just man up and do it.

 

She might be crushed but you owe it to her to be honest.

You cannot force love, it is either or it isn't.

 

Be honest. Say you aren't feeling like the relationship will continue to grow.

That the spark is missing. You care for her as a person, but don't wish to continue

being in the relationship.

 

There's nothing worse than lying about a reason, or just disappearing, so be upfront.

I keep having this feeling that I might regret it later. Could be some sh*tty fear of breaking up. But I belive the best thing to do would be the thing you said

The problem is she really likes me and I don't know how to do the breaking up without looking like a heartless bastard.

She will be fine, trust me.

I keep having this feeling that I might regret it later.

Why would you regret it?

She will be fine, trust me.

 

 

 

Why would you regret it?

I don't know. Feels like I'll have to struggle finding another normal girl. I do get attention from few girls at the time but I'm not really interested into being in a relationship with them at all

Feels like I'll have to struggle finding another normal girl.

It may take a while to find someone else. But I don't think it's a good idea to stay in a relationship out of fear. You miss opportunities that way.

If a woman felt this way about you, how would you want her to handle it? You can't go wrong treating people how you would want to be treated. I'd tell her, "The relationship isn't working for me. I'm not feeling the love I should be to continue on." You will be doing her a favor, freeing her to eventually be with someone who is crazy about her.

I have to say....

The WORST thing you could do... Is start looking for someone else before ending this. (Which you come off as already at least....day dreamin of it if not teetering on testing the waters)...Not only for her... But yourself.. and the new girl. All around it is disrespectful to all three ....

If you are torn on leaving her... Why would you be so willingly entertaining the thought of what others offer.

Here's the thing....

You either LOVE her... Or you don't.

You can't have a healthy relationship while you "window shop" behind her back... "Just in case" you can find someone better.

If you don't like your situation and you have already talked yourself out of it... It is just going to get messy from here on out.... The more direct and to the point your are from here on out... The better.

If you are convenced it is over in your eyes... Butttt you worry about not being able to find someone to replace her....

Honestly... To me... It sounds like you are not being honest with yourself... Nor are you acting with respect for yourself or her.

Ever heard that saying...

You can't have your cake and eat it too?

I hate when people say that about relationships..but here's the deal... You can... If youre in a situation that you deeply care for someone and have lost that initial spark (assuming it's not lost over a break in trust or loyalty) you can get it back with commitment to better communication of your needs and hers. ....and effort in meeting those needs. If they are met... Through good communication and care for each other.... It would very much be worth the effort.

That being said....

If you have already distanced yourself so much without even clueing her into where you're at....

You have pretty well made your discussion... And you have to man up and realize... You may never find anything as good as what you have now.

If it is Your choice to end it... Because you want to see what else is out there. ..... ......it is you ...who is willingly giving up on something you are unsure of.... On a hope you can "do better."

Aka... the ball seems to be very much in your court on this....

So just be willing to man up...

Tell her you are done...

And leave her alone after... To heal... With no extra "games" invovled.

Don't be the type to date around and leave her open to maybe wanting to return... But you just want to shop around..."just in case"...

There is always someone.

Cuter... Younger... Smarter... Or wealthier. (That goes for her and what she can find as well) Those things shift and change... They are not what truly matters when you are looking for anything past a superficial "non relationship".

In the end... Know that if YOU decide to end it... Especially after not being upfront and getting this deeply into thinking about being with other women ...

Be man enough to own your decision...

Be up front about it...

Don't leave her hanging ... Or string her along.... Just for your own insecurities.

I keep having this feeling that I might regret it later. Could be some sh*tty fear of breaking up. But I belive the best thing to do would be the thing you said

Worrying about regretting it, and even feeling regret after is very normal.

You already feel you want to end it, staying together isn't going to change that.

It may even make you feel resentful.

There is always someone.

Cuter... Younger... Smarter... Or wealthier. (That goes for her and what she can find as well) Those things shift and change... They are not what truly matters when you are looking for anything past a superficial "non relationship".

THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^so true!

I know several people who left relationships for a shinier diamond, only to realize they picked up

a cubic zirconia. Every relationship has issues. If you truly get along and enjoy one another, why

people feel the need to "fix what ain't broke" is beyond me, lol

Let her go. She needs to be with someone who wants her because they want her. Not someone who doesn't love her and is with her because they might not find someone else?

Bruta, why do you think you will regret it?

Do you have a history of having high interest initially, losing interest months in, breaking up and then regretting it later?

Most people are just not our match. Sometimes it takes a while to find that out. We all need to play the role of 'bad guy' to get out of relationships that aren't working for us. It's part of the territory of dating. Consider it a skill you need to learn, because it makes no sense to stay in lousy relationships just to avoid doing the breakup deed.