Am I being Unfaithful

I have lived with my wife and mother in law since 1998 since my father in law died. I have always found my mother in law attractive but never done anything because I loved my wife and was faithful to her. My wife died in March 2016 and since then my feeling for my mother in law have gotten a lot stronger. I think I have fallen in love with her. Myself and her do almost everything together like a family, we share looking after my 3 children housework cooking cleaning etc we also went on 2 holidays and at birthdays and stuff we go for a meal or something. We have not been intimate in any way. I think I would like us to be closer and become a couple, am I being stupid ? I am awake most nights thinking about her for the past couple of months. I am 38 and she has recently turned 60. I honestly think I love her and want to be with her but also afraid of how my kids will react and if it didn't work out what would happen as she has been through a lot loosing her husband and her only child my wife.

This is something i hadnt heard of before. I would broach the topic with your mom in law first . See what she is feeling about all this.

If she's on the same page then why not? How old are your children? Are they old enough to understand romantic love?

On the other side of the coin... I think you'd do well to actually start dating and being a little less codependent on your MIL and see if you are actually in love or you are just infatuated have become accustomed to her being such a huge help in your life. Perhaps with time and distance, you'd be more inclined to date someone your own age.

I'd hold off on making a move.

I am awake most nights thinking about her for the past couple of months.

You may still be grieving and it could be affecting your thoughts. Thinking about someone to the point where you are lying awake at night for months is obsessive. It is not proof of love.

I honestly think I love her and want to be with her but also afraid of how my kids will react and if it didn't work out what would happen as she has been through a lot loosing her husband and her only child my wife.

There's no avoiding the fact that it's going to affect every generation of your family from here on out. Dad married Grandma. There will be a Mom-Mom and a Grandma-Mom, an Aunt and a Grandma-Aunt. You should really think about that. In class projects where your children or grandchildren draw their family tree, that line is going to go straight up.

Someone in my family did something like that once. My dad's sister married a guy, then my dad's dad married the guys' mom. There are grandchildren now who are short on a set of grandparents! So we giggle about that side of the family. But we still love them.