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Thread: 6 months relationship to no contact ?

  1. #1
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    6 months relationship to no contact ?

    Hi

    Ok so vague background, both 27, we dated for over 6 months, all was great, for some weird reason it went little awkward between us, still donít know why. And after I prompted the fact itís different, she said she wants time on her own etc

    Anyway I deal with breaking up using no contact, I delete them off Facebook and donít bother them anymore, she said this makes her upset and doesnít really want that. But she seems to have pretty much honoured it.

    But I notice she also took me off all the other social mediaís, I just left them as not bothered.

    Over a month on and I must admit, I miss her now more than. I have since the day we split, also canít explain that.
    What is likely to be going through her head, as in my paranoid mine I just assume sheís found someone new now !

  2. #2
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Opportunity9
    Hi

    Ok so vague background, both 27, we dated for over 6 months, all was great, for some weird reason it went little awkward between us, still donít know why. And after I prompted the fact itís different, she said she wants time on her own etc

    Anyway I deal with breaking up using no contact.

    Over a month on and I must admit, I miss her now more than. I have since the day we split, also canít explain that.
    What is likely to be going through her head, as in my paranoid mine I just assume sheís found someone new now !
    Forget what's going on her mind, what's going through your mind?

    Is it safe to presume what you meant by "different" was that your feelings were different, you weren't as into her so much anymore?

    Or into being in a relationship?

    If not, what was "different" exactly?

    So you broke up and went no contact.

    And now that's she's gone, suddenly you miss her more than ever?

    I think this is what happens with many people after a break up, but nevertheless, I would suggest figuring yourself out first, before you attempt to figure her out.

    As for her, just a guess but she's probably moved on, and yeah seeing someone else.

    Again just a guess, I could be wrong, why not reach out and talk to her?

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    When I say different I just meant our contact wasnít an frequent and for some reason both of us didnít really know what to say perhaps... weird.

    Well I was very peristant on there being no contact but she wasnít, so I feel like I need to stick to it.

    I didnít think Iíd still be missing her after a month, especially more than ever.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Opportunity9
    When I say different I just meant our contact wasnít an frequent and for some reason both of us didnít really know what to say perhaps... weird.

    Well I was very peristant on there being no contact but she wasnít, so I feel like I need to stick to it.

    I didnít think Iíd still be missing her after a month, especially more than ever.
    I hear ya, but like I said I think this is fairly common.

    She is not in your life anymore, so any pressure or negative feelings you felt while in the RL are gone, and therefore your heart is free and open to think about her, miss her, even obsess about her without feeling pressured, boxed in, fearful or whatever you felt while in the RL that caused things to be different.

    It takes time. It's only been a month.

    Are you meeting and dating other women, even casually?

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    I started seeing another girl for all of 2 weeks and I had to call it off, I was so uninterested and still caught up in this previous rl.

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    Originally Posted by Opportunity9
    When I say different I just meant our contact wasnít an frequent and for some reason both of us didnít really know what to say perhaps... weird.

    Well I was very peristant on there being no contact but she wasnít, so I feel like I need to stick to it.

    I didnít think Iíd still be missing her after a month, especially more than ever.
    Since you initiated the NC, it's really up to you to reach out to her.

    We women(men too) can be stubborn and/ or feelings be hurt with NC if we don't want that.

    If she moved on, so be it. Just know you did the right thing because the point of NC is to
    work on yourself and discover if you truly miss and want that person, or if you are better
    off without the relationship. You miss her, just be certain it isn't because of feeling lonely
    or not knowing what she's up to. And it's hard to reconcile when neither of you are certain
    of what went wrong.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Opportunity9
    I started seeing another girl for all of 2 weeks and I had to call it off, I was so uninterested and still caught up in this previous rl.
    What is your RL history like? Have you had any long term relationships? Say longer than one year?

    If so what happened, why did you break up? Did you miss those women more than ever after things ended too?

    I think it's important to be aware of our patterns in relationships and how they might affect our current or future interactions/relationships.

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    Thanks guys.

    Yes Iíve had a couple 2 year RL and my last one was 3 years (moved out etc). I think this one, the shortest. Has me missing her the most.

  10. #9
    Platinum Member katrina1980's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Opportunity9
    Thanks guys.

    Yes Iíve had a couple 2 year RL and my last one was 3 years (moved out etc). I think this one, the shortest. Has me missing her the most.
    Well maybe there is more to this than what I posted then.

    I know you initiated no contact, but there is no "rule" that I'm aware of that says you can't break no contact when, after some self-reflection, you realize you may have ended things hastily.

    What's stopping you from reaching out and talking? She may really miss you too!

    Perhaps you can then discuss what happened and why things became different, make some sense of it.

    Instead of living your life missing and obsessing and wondering what the hell happened!

    If she's anything like ME, even if she's dating someone else (which she may NOT be), she's wondering and obsessing too!

    Just a suggestion.

  11. #10
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    Yeah maybe youíre right, but itís the way after I suggested things were different / not working as before, she seemed open to the idea to call it a break and she how she feels in time. So it was rather more mutual than me just hastily ending it.

    So the thing stopping me is her, telling me she still wants to be on her own, and me getting myself worked up contacting her and being turned away.

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