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Thread: I am pregnant and my boyfriend wont marry me

  1. #1
    Atlantis
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    I am pregnant and my boyfriend wont marry me

    Hi all,
    Two weeks ago, we found out that I was pregnant, even though I had been using UID. So it was a total shock to us. I am Turkish descent and my family still goes by Turkish culture. So it is totally unacceptable to have a baby without marriage.

    My boyfriend had been asking me to move in for about 6 months now. And i had been saying no because I wanted to be engaged before I live with someone. So now being pregnant is a game changer...

    I told him how my parents would despise me, and how i wouldnt be able to proudly tell anyone of my side that i am pregnant. I asked that we get engaged. And he said he doesnt want to rush into things and just because i am pregnant he doesnt want to go ahead and get engaged.

    He is 34 and I am 26. Donít rush for what? What are we even waiting on? His lack of support to me in this sense made me feel very unloved. And i am not talking to him now.

    What should I do?

  2. #2
    pippy longstocking
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    I'm sorry I agree with him ....

  3. #3
    thealchemist
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    If he isn't ready to get married nothing you do will change that. He needs to want to get married or else the marriage isn't going to even help anything.

    Having a child is not enough of a reason to get married. That is a big reason a lot of marriages fail.

    Sorry but I agree with him.

  4. #4
    MissCanuck
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    How long have you been together, OP?

  5. #5
    mustlovedogs
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    You need to speak with your gyno. Getting pregnant on an IUD is supposed to be VERY difficult.

  6. #6
    Atlantis
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissCanuck [Register to see the link]
    How long have you been together, OP?
    We been together for 14-15 months.

  7. #7
    Atlantis
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    Quote Originally Posted by mustlovedogs [Register to see the link]
    You need to speak with your gyno. Getting pregnant on an IUD is supposed to be VERY difficult.
    I got the IUD removed the moment we found out I was pregnant. Now we are waiting to go see dr again to see if the pregnancy is going okay.

    I know the risks...

  8. #8
    mustlovedogs
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    I am pregnant and my boyfriend wont marry me

    Quote Originally Posted by Atlantis [Register to see the link]
    I got the IUD removed the moment we found out I was pregnant. Now we are waiting to go see dr again to see if the pregnancy is going okay.

    I know the risks...
    That's not what I meant.

    How did you get pregnant with an IUD. That's a conversation you need to have.

  9. #9
    PHENOMENOL
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    Having baby don't mean you guy have to marry.... We understand your culture but you have to understand his....
    He also been asking you to move in with him for 6 month now and you haven't and he been waiting on your decision or when your ready....

    sooo it goes the same way he is not ready for marriage, just like you wasn't ready to move in with him.

    , I believe you should just confront you family or get a abortion.

    not saying a abortion is a good thing but if you believe you not ready for a change or the gult your family might give you or him walking out or anything.....just avoid the baby.........or just face your responsibility & confront your family and wait until he is ready....

  10. #10
    DancingFool
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    In your previous thread you were talking about how much you two fight, how he has told you that you have anger issues that you need to take care of, etc.
    So, until you actually take care of those things, fix yourself and show him that you can be a reliably stable and pleasant partner, he is not going to marry you.
    Bringing a baby into a situation where the two parents can't get along and are constantly arguing would be a disaster and he recognizes that. When it's like that, it's better for the parents to be apart.
    Also, you can't impose your parents' old world values on modern day society and attitudes. Sure they might be upset, but in the end, they have no choice but to accept the situation and adapt. The old days of forcing a man into marriage if he gets the woman pregnant are gone.

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