I don't want to love him anymore

I've been split up from my ex for 9 months. Cocaine, depression and alcohol stopped him trying and we split. I love him so painfully much, even now. He's a toxic person I know that but when I'm around him I'm naturally so happy. I see him out and we started casually speaking but it's only too easy to fall back into old habits. It's been cut off before it goes too far but what I don't understand is he loves me or says he does and that he wants to change so he can be the bloke he needs to be for me. I know he won't change because I've known him for years but I don't understand how love isn't the most important thing. How do druys and alcohol beat being with the person you love? I don't get it. And how is it possible I care so much and he cares so little. It's soul destroying.

Since you're not a drug addict, you won't understand. You cannot speak to him anymore. If you'd started no communication earlier, you might have begun to heal and move on by now. Time to do that for your own well being.

He can love you and do drugs, one thing doesn't invalidate the other.

Also, drugs and alcohol only become a problem when the users let it. You'd be surprised on how many people around you do recreational drugs without any harm. If your ex abuses the substances, then it's his problem and he's the one who needs to recognize it and get it under control.

Also, only you know what type of relationship you had with him and what you want in the future.

It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he may very well love you.

The addiction is stronger than what he can control.

He has to want to change, and it's apparent he hasn't made the effort.

Being an addict/ alcoholic changes a person's behavior. They are chemically addicted in their brain now.

Someone needs to show him some tough love and try to get him into rehab. Without it, there won't be

any stable future he can offer you nor anyone else, nor himself.

You love him from a distance. Keep him in your heart, but not in your life.

Love is wonderful. It is. It's not enough because it's just a feeling. You have to act on feelings to make them mean something. He can't, even if he loves you,he's an addict, he can't even help himself. Don't ignore this as a trait of his character. As it plays a huge role in his actions. As much as you love him, you can't be together apparently. Write what you love about him and see what you get.