My son has a crush!

Just wanted to share, I think it's delightful....

Son is almost 10. His iPad is connected to his father's iPad, so we've known that among the Pokemon searches he's looked up 'flirting in primary school' a few times. He's also started to care a bit more about his appearance, and has stopped doing nudie runs through the house - he's very into his privacy.

Tonight he asked me whether when I had crushes as a kid, did I tell anyone. Realising that was considering telling me something I said 'my mother!' (which was absolutely untrue). He said 'did she laugh at you?'. 'Oh no!' I say. Then he tells me that there are three girls in his class who flirt with him, but he only likes one, so how does he tell the other two he doesn't like them in 'that way' without breaking their hearts?

He told me who he liked and said it was good to tell someone because he's not able to tell people at school in case they tease him.

My advice was to not tell either of the other two girls in case he's got it wrong and/or it hurts their feelings. That he can stay friends with them all but if he wants to have the one he fancies over, he can. I asked if anyone at school has dates or goes out and he said no way.

This is happening a bit earlier than I thought, but I think it just a cute crush. I told him how great his dad was with women and he should ask his dad for advice as well It's lovely that he told me because he doesn't open up at all.

Oh this made me smile and yes it is lovely that he felt he could talk to you about it ....I am LMAO at the nudey runs hahahaha

Awwwww that is so sweet! Nice to see you again caro!

How sweet!

He is a little young for that. Why not talk to him - emphasizing making friends with girls over "flirting", how to be kind and also how to and how not to treat girls (ie, hair pulling or going up and touching her is not acceptable,etc.) or talk about his feelings

He is a little young for that. Why not talk to him - emphasizing making friends with girls over "flirting", how to be kind and also how to and how not to treat girls (ie, hair pulling or going up and touching her is not acceptable,etc.) or talk about his feelings

Yes I've done that. He doesn't do any of those things. He doesn't flirt, but the girls tease him about who he likes out of the group. They hug him and chase him. He's been trying to work out what's happening. He just says 'I like you all the same'.

Oh my goodness so adorable and I know also challenging! My son is only 8 and knows "of" dating, etc (from silly TV shows) and also is caught doing other than Pokemon searches (usually about gross bodily functions, sigh) and interestingly lately he's been searching "girls names" because he says there are girls in his class who have unusual names and sometimes he can't tell if they are girls' names. And he's started sort of giggling to himself and if you ask him why (I often don't -I believe in private thoughts lol) he says "um, I don't want to tell you!" with a smirk. Who knows.

I think you handled it beautifully and I like the suggestion that was given about just being friends/developing friendships/

Thanks Batya.

Yes, re the friendship suggestion, we are not sexualising the poor boy, I just see childhood crushes as normal and want him to trust me. We know he's not ready in any way for anything more than friendship, and we've discussed it. He just wants to share his feelings. I talk to him quite a bit about how to treat people etc etc.

Thanks Batya.

 

Yes, re the friendship suggestion, we are not sexualising the poor boy, I just see childhood crushes as normal and want him to trust me. We know he's not ready in any way for anything more than friendship, and we've discussed it. He just wants to share his feelings. I talk to him quite a bit about how to treat people etc etc.

Oh yes I agree -I just meant the importance of being someone's friend/being thoughtful as part of even a boy-girl crush, etc.