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Thread: The guy I'm in love with is leaving for 2 years overseas for military service

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Oct 2017

    Exclamation The guy I'm in love with is leaving for 2 years overseas for military service

    I'm 15 years old, in high school in Australia. I met this guy 1 year and 1/2 ago, he moved here from Singapore and he's 18 this year. We instantly clicked so well, became best friends easily. I started falling in love with him and same for him. We dated then called it off due to me being too young. Also, in December this year he is going back to SINGAPORE for 2 years straight with no ability to fly back more than a week each year, for NATIONAL MILATARY SERVICE in Singapore. I'm so in love with him and I don't want him to leave me for so long and my heart breaks a little when I think about it. What if he falls in love with someone else and they get together. When I say I'm in love with him I mean like we've been through so much together and we've got through some tough fights and made it, he treats me like a princess. what should I do? :grumpy - desperate lover

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2015
    It's illegal for an 18 year old to be in a relationship with a 15 year old in Australia as the age of consent is 16. As you said, you called it off because you are too young. You are still too young to make serious decisions in this domain. He will go and perform his military service, and maybe when he'll be done (when he's 20 and you'll be 17), things would work out.

    I can't explain enough that the relationship is borderline immoral (on top of being illegal).

  3. #3
    pippy longstocking
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    It is not illegal if they are not having sex

  4. Thanks LaHermes thanked for this post
  5. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Yes, it's not illegal if they aren't sexually intimate. However, Banished is right about one thing:

    You are still too young to make serious decisions in this domain.
    Military relationships take on another level of commitment. As a 15 year old who has just started high school and is new to dating, she has other aspects she needs to focus on. A military relationship for her is going to be too much --- and I say that with experience dating someone who went into the Marines right after 9/11 and I was still in high school.

    High school relationships have the worst survival rate than the Titanic -- and therefore she should not be dating too seriously. There are a few people who do marry their high school sweetheart, but they are a dime in a dozen. He's moving on to adulthood already while the OP has 2/3 years left to figure herself out. They are on completely separate stages of life that realistically, it won't work. What the OP needs to realize that in 5-10 years from now, she is also going to change. She needs to use her time -- while an adolescent -- to learn about things she wants and she feels are important. Figure out how to be in a relationship and things that aren't so good. She will not have those opportunities while doing a long distance relationship for awhile with someone who really can't commit to their relationship because he's busy with basic training. And with a potential pending war on North Korea, it is a scary time for our military.

    So yea, my experience with a military relationship while I was still in HS really messed me up. Here I was about to graduate and I was worried about his deployment during a time of war. I was worried about how his job could affect my future in terms of marriage and if I needed to continue my education elsewhere around a military base when I haven't figured out what career path I wanted to do. He proposed to me in a 2 min phone call conversation a month before my graduation. So not good, very stressful. Our relationship didn't last because he came back as a changed person (in the worse way) and in a more lighter way.... it was too much for me. Looking back, I should of pulled the plug when he enlisted even though we had been dating for 2 years.

  6. #5

    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Thank you, that really helps me see things clearer. It's just sad and I feel like I just dug myself a hole you know.. thank you again for the advice I know what I have to do now.

  7. #6

    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Yeah I won't let it burn me again thanks heaps


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