Does a healthy lifestyle actually improve your state of mind?

I'm 34 and ready to make a change in my life. Since 2010, I've had my mom, two dear grandparents, a best friend, and a few acquaintances pass away. Its hard to deal with a lot of the times. I've found it to be very hard to accept and I have periods of depression over it. Also my dad has had a girlfriend for the last three years and we don't get along. I get along with my dad great, but have seen less of him since she moved herself into his house. My other best friend lives far away, my boyfriend is not exactly an open book which makes it hard to talk to him sometimes, and I find it hard to make friends in the small town I live in. I feel like I don't have a strong social network anymore, but I do carry on and try to make the best of things. I also like to drink and can sometimes smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. Yes I enjoy a cocktail for fun (at home alone usually unless I'm out with my boyfriend) and it can go overboard, but sometimes I feel like I do that out of depression. I've been carrying on like this for a few years. I've talked to a therapist before, but after almost a year, I felt like it wasn't progressing. She was only available once a month. Maybe I need to try therapy again? I don't want to take antidepressants as I don't feel depressed all the time. I just have really bad moments. Plus I'm nervous over the thought of starting antidepressants. Have antidepressants worked for any of you? The one thing I think I can do is try to get more sleep (I average less than six hours a night) and incorporate exercise into my life while giving up the drinks and smoke less. Anybody have any inspirational stories of improving your lifestyle on your own? Any feedback is appreciated.

I am sorry for your personal loss. I know it is hard.

You know what you need to do with your health. Make the changes.

Have you tried to expand your social network and not make it so dependent on your bf and drinking? Have you tried volunteering and exploring new interests through Meet ups etc.. Look into hiking clubs, or maybe yoga classes to center yourself. have you considered taking to learn how to dance or explore other creative venues?

Why are you with a man that you cannot communicate with?

It sounds like you need to make many areas of you life more healthy. Focus on the things you can change: stop smoking and drinking, exercise, expand your social network and readdress your relationship with your bf.

You sound like you have been very complacent, time to make changes.

Quit smoking. It is a disgusting and deadly habit. The cigarettes are the worst thing that you can do to health, plus they age you.

I am a former smoker.

Make quitting smoking Job One. I have two friends who quit using hypnosis, both were 3 pack a day guys and yet they were successful immediately. If you cant do it on your own, consider hypnosis.

Next, cool it with the drinking, it sounds possibly excessive. Then maybe join a gym or club or take up an activity that gets you out with others and helps with overall health. Yes living a healthy lifestyle translates into a happier life. Maybe find a new boyfriend too.

How long have you got? lol Seriously..

In short, yes, great success at changing mood, anxiety, energy, and general well being in life and I've learnt a lot over the last couple of years.

The keystone to good health is good nutrition, and for good reason - many of us living in the west are suffering from being vertically ill due to the way we eat and live and there are so many studies you can look at for this.

You've probably heard the old adage that health starts in the gut? It's very true - there are multiple factors in the way that we eat that cause our system to go into 'stressed' mode which means that our gut shuts down, cortisol is released and serotonin production is halted (because 90% of serotonin is produced in the gut), which, as melatonin is produced with serotonin means that we get poor sleep. Our adrenals overproduce which shuts our thyroid down, and the body is in an inflamed state and you end up exhausted and feeling awful.

If this cycle is continued you will come across symptoms such as anxiety and depression, chronic fatigue, thyroid issues, gut problems, yeast infections.. the list is endless.

The aggravating factors that are prevalent in the west that produce this are everywhere:

Sugar

Meat

Dairy

Alcohol

Caffeine

Heavy metal exposure

Chemical exposure (pharmaceuticals are included in this as synthetic drugs are bad for the body)

Physical stressors (a desk job stresses the body as we aren't meant to be sitting for so long)

So the aim becomes, reducing but preferably eliminating these things from our diet and lifestyle to get our bodies and minds, back.

From my experience I would recommend a plant based detox which will reduce inflammation and restore your gut into balance, get your serotonin levels back on track, your sleep better and your body working as it should. You'll likely find that a lot of the depression that you're feeling will lessen as a result of this - it may not be complete as you've been through a really tough time, but getting your base back will allow you to move forward.

The best results of these kind of changes can be used by transitioning to a whole food plant based diet, which will keep toxins at bay, encourage healing and keep your body working as it should. This doesn't necessarily mean vegan but meat and dairy tend to be restricted to an 80% fruit/veg and 20% meat/dairy ratio. For detox though complete elimination of meat, dairy and sugar for a 2-3 week period - you can look up a lot of detox programmes online.

If you decide to go back to therapy to help you deal with all of the trauma you've been through, it should be more productive as you'll be in a stronger place mentally and emotionally to deal with things.

I personally didn't find therapy particularly helpful but that could be because I didn't find the right therapist, most of the healing I've done has been on my own self reflection and exploring different ideas and perspectives and it's worked for me but everyone's different. And as you feel quite isolated having that real time person support could be really beneficial for you.

In terms of giving up smoking, we all know it's bad for you, but I would also say that with everything that you're dealing with to approach that when you can. I used to smoke cigarettes and have moved onto vaping, which whilst is still not good for you, it's better than cigarettes so that might be a transitional option. I'm hoping to be able to quit vaping as and when, but I have to say that asking someone to quit an addiction when they're run down, depressed and exhausted probably isn't going to happen (though there are exceptions) so I would advise to concentrate on getting your body back first to give you the strength to move forward.

I wouldn't advise taking drugs because they mask the problem and alter the body chemistry which can produce more problems rather than treat the underlying condition, but that's just my opinion and everyone has to choose for themselves.

I hope some of that is helpful.

Thanks for all the feedback so far. I think I might take the time to evaluate my relationship with my boyfriend. Every time we argue, which doesn't seem often, but when we do, it can last forever because he seems to place the entire blame on me. We never had anything too serious to argue about, but they escalated into serious arguments because of that. I have no problem taking the blame for my share, but I refuse to take the entire blame for something that he had a part in too. Trying to communicate with him is just downright exhausting sometimes. Other than that, he is a pretty good guy. I'm not willing to let him go yet, but I will space myself from him for awhile. Its a good idea for me to start living healthier to see where my head eventually goes.

She was only available once a month. Maybe I need to try therapy again?

Yes, and make it about you, not the therapist's schedule. Find someone else who is available to WORK with you, and skip the last one--he or she should have known better: once a month is for people who have completed therapy as a touch base to keep them stable and secure, it's not how a good therapist conducts treatment.

Some people find that talk therapy once per week plus heavy exercise, good sleep and the right diet changes are enough to lift depression, while others use medication to stabilize first while they implement those strategies to wean themselves off the meds. But the key is proper monitoring, which speaks for the once per week talk. You'd report any side effects and changes to help the therapist either change the dosage or the med if you don't get the right results. Weaning off is carefully monitored as well.

Consider working with a PhD, PsyD or MSW who will partner WITH an MD who'll prescribe the meds if you opt to go that route, because the prescriber isn't always available for intensive talk therapy. YOU get to decide your course of treatment after an assessment--and if you don't get a lift of the depression with one method, then report that and ask for changes until you do.

Head high, and I hope you'll let us know how things go.

Sorry for your loss and the things you've been through.

Body, mind and spirit need to be as one. Have you ever tried looking into meditation? Doesn't have to be religious. Just meditation. If the idea appeals to you, see what strikes your fancy. Sometimes people have success with guided meditation videos/CD's. I think there may be some decent ones for free on YouTube, even.