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A guy from tinder keeps disturbing me


Rapunzel111

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I knew him from Tinder but we never met. We texted for a few days and texted a few topics about sex . After a few months, I am in a new relationship. Soon he texted again And I explicitly told him I have a boyfriend now. And he said he understand.

Yet, he keeps sending me text once a few month, which I never replied to any of those. So what should I do? It is real creepy for a stranger to keep texting you every few months.

 

More importantly, he already went back to his country. So what should I do to stop him?

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You have to be more direct. Tell him you do not want him to talk to you anymore out of respect for your bf. If he continues after that, tell him if he doesn't stop then you will call the police on him for harassment. If he still contacts you, make that call and press charges on him. The police would need to come over and view the evidence (messages) and will proceed accordingly.

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The police have better things to do, particularly if he's in another country. Considering blocking a number takes all but three seconds, I'm not sure why your brain tells you, "Oh shucks looks like I'm just stuck with this" when he happens to text you with a new phone. Just block the second number. Tell him off prior to doing so if you feel you must.

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If he messages you again, tell him in no uncertain terms that he is not to contact you anymore. You can tell him you are going to keep a record of all unwanted contact from this point forward and will pass it on the correct authorities if he does not stop. Even if you don't have any intention of actually doing so, tell him you do. Make him believe you mean business.

 

How do you know he's actually in another country?

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He’s probably testing the waters to see if you’re interested in re-engaging in sex talk. Tell him outright that you are in a serious relationship and you do not wish to hear from him again. Also, make it equally clear that should he text you from another number you will continue to ignore him. Then do just that, as well as blocking every number he texts you from. He’ll soon run out of options or patience.

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Don't use the "out of respect for my boyfriend" excuse.

 

He'll assume if NOT for the BF, you'd want HIM, so he still has a chance and will try harder.

 

Tell him in no uncertain terms you are NOT interested in him, and if he doesn't stop harassing you, you will report him to authorities.

 

Be very assertive when you say it, don't try to be "nice."

 

If that doesnt work, have your BF step in and next time this bozo contacts you, have your BF text back (or call) and say "if you don't stop harassing my gf, I will personally track you down and kick your sorry a$$"!

 

Lol, on second thought, no don't do that, my ex did that once with a guy who was harassing me and I was mortified!

 

Tell him yourself and be assertive!

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Thanks guys. Yea the police option is off the table. Well I dont know for sure he's back to his country but he told me before his visa only last for a year. And his facebook ( i unfriended him) said he's back to his hometown too. So I think he is really not in the state right now

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I just don't understand why he bother to text me frequently. I never met him and he is far away from the state.

 

He's looking for a possible hook-up if he's ever back in your area, or a sexting buddy in the meantime. He probably reaches out to you when he's not getting any bites from the other women he chats to.

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I just don't understand why he bother to text me frequently. I never met him and he is far away from the state.

 

He's messing with you hon, that's all.

 

Who knows why, don't waste energy attempting to figure it out.

 

He's probably just bored or something, and this is how he gets kicks.

 

Just keep blocking.

 

And forget what I said in earlier post, better to not react at all.

 

Just keep blocking, eventually, hopefully, he will get bored with your non-reactions, and go away.

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Don't use the "out of respect for my boyfriend" excuse, like another poster suggested ugh.

 

He'll assume if NOT for the BF, you'd want HIM, so he still has a chance and will try harder.

 

Tell him in no uncertain terms you are NOT interested in him, and if he doesn't stop harassing you, you will report him to authorities.

 

Be very assertive when you say it, don't try to be "nice."

 

If that doesnt work, have your BF step in and next time this bozo contacts you, have your BF text back (or call) and say "if you don't stop harassing my gf, I will personally track you down and kick your sorry a$$"!

 

Lol, on second thought, no don't do that, my ex did that once with a guy who was harassing me and I was mortified!

 

Tell him yourself and be assertive!

 

The out of respect addition is intended as a transition for clarity from her previous text mentioning she has a boyfriend now, and then translating it for him to state she was initially implying not to text her again, oh wise one. So he knows that's what she meant by the previous text in the first place. Otherwise, the addition is not needed. It is being more direct by clearing up any room for hope, in the past and present. Your comment is stereotyping she is only doing this because her boyfriend made her instead of clearing up any misunderstandings from her previous text, which is a pessimistic take on the real intention of the addition.

 

As long as he continues using other means of communication (making more social media accounts, changing your phone number but keeping your phone, etc), blocking isn't effective. No one wants a surprise lewd text, or worse a nude, from someone that's interfering with your relationship. Even just the threat of calling the authorities should do it, as he's still in the country for a bit and can affect him atm. You don't have to always press charges, but the police are here for a reason, which is to keep order and prevent creeps from bothering people when it proves enough. Besides, if he turns out to be a psycho who won't stop, you'll have more evidence sooner showing he won't leave you alone and can file for other services that can help in such an extreme circumstance.

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I just don't understand why he bother to text me frequently. I never met him and he is far away from the state.

 

Ok, time to be real. A person who honestly wants to be left alone doesn't try to 'understand' why someone keeps contacting them they simply block them and move on. The dude contacts you once a month. That's not even often enough to notice unless you want to...

 

Pretty much everyone has said block and move on. It's really that simple unless there's more to this which I am starting to believe.

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Ok, time to be real. A person who honestly wants to be left alone doesn't try to 'understand' why someone keeps contacting them they simply block them and move on. The dude contacts you once a month. That's not even often enough to notice unless you want to...

 

Pretty much everyone has said block and move on. It's really that simple unless there's more to this which I am starting to believe.

 

Once a month? Missed that. That little doesn't even warrant a block.

 

Just ignore.

 

figureitout, you may have me beat as far as perceptive abilities go. lol

 

Definitely more to this than what OP is sharing.

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That's a pretty minor annoyance, and to be expected I would think? ( I'm not on Tinder), for engaging random Tinder dude with sexual chats. I'm not sure why you'd expect the very upmost of respect from a place and guy that is aimed at cyber and real life hookups?

A little spamming goes along with the territory, no?

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He texts once every four or five months. And I blocked him every time and he texted me with a new number again.

 

Calling the police is not possible. Because he's not in the country so he wont be threatened.

 

I just want him to stop. And i dont want to give in by changing my phone number.

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You guys might think one little text is not a big deal but it really bothers me. Esp i can only block him because police cannot arrest a guy who living in other country.

 

They also cannot arrest a guy for sending you one text every 4-5 months, even if he lived down the street.

 

You couldn't even get a TRO unless he threatened you wth harm, has he?

 

If getting one txt every 4-5 months disturbs you so much, change your phone number.

 

I've actually done that! Works like a charm.

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Half a year ago

 

Please correct me if I'm wrong but going by your timeline of him texting you every 4-5 months and the last time you responded was 6 months ago that would mean he messaged you once since you didn't reply...once...

 

I mean absolutely no offense because no one should be harassed, it's just my humble opinion that this really shouldn't bother you to the level it is, you two never even met.

 

The guys a non issue cause you have a boyfriend right? You spent more time writing this post than it would take to block random numbers for the next like 5 years. Like seriously, I'm too lazy to do the exact math but 1 text twice a year at 10 seconds a block.

 

It's really not that hard to block numbers, in fact, some phones have the ability to filter out unknown numbers. I wouldn't get the police involved and I wouldn't let it bother you. Just block and move on. The guys not worth a second thought, he really isn't.

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