Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 64

Thread: Women: how important is income to you?

  1. #1
    Krankor
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male

    Women: how important is income to you?

    I'm a 40-year-old male. I've been on several dating apps in the past year or so.

    I noticed that on one popular one in particular I was getting far less attention and responses than on the others. I couldn't figure out why. I had the same pictures up, the same basic profile, etc. And yet it was as if I was invisible on that site while I was getting pretty good attention on the others. After a while I pulled my profile and cancelled my memebership--that app was proving to be a poor investment of my time and money. But I was still puzzled as to why I had so little success there.

    Then, the other day it hit me like a ton of bricks. At my job I am comfortably in the middle class. With overtime and a pickup shift here and there I gross about $65K a year. I have a job that some women find attractive and that I'll never starve doing. But it will never make me rich or even well-off.

    This one particular app in question happens to allow members to filter by income. I am in the "50K to 75K" range. I realized that the problem may well have been that many women were settimg their filters for $75K and above.

    So, honest question. Women, how important is income to you. I think if you combined my income with even say a $30K earner we could have a nice, comfortable life together, but I have to wonder if a lot of women have a higher standard based on my experience.

  2. #2
    LHGirl
    Forum Supporter
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Posts
    974
    You should change your income to "no answer". It's nobody's business anyway.

    But to answer your question, yes, many women filter by income. Just as there are many men who only click on very attractive girls.

    The thing is, the guy who makes slightly less, or the girl who is really attractive, both have to end up being really good people to keep a relationship. Which is why I recommend ditching your income and let the ones who don't ask, into your world.

  3. #3
    boltnrun
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    6,618
    I ran into the issue of men my age (mid to late 40s) putting the age range of women they wanted to date as 22 to 35. Very little interest in women their own age.

    So, I feel ya.

    For me, I just want to know if you're gainfully employed at a full time job. I don't care if you're a janitor or an accountant or a mail carrier.

  4. #4
    Krankor
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male
    LHGirl, good point. Honestly, I did answer because I thought that saying "no answer" would be interpreted as me being really low income and wanting to avoid the question.

  5. #5
    Krankor
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    I ran into the issue of men my age (mid to late 40s) putting the age range of women they wanted to date as 22 to 35. Very little interest in women their own age.

    So, I feel ya.

    For me, I just want to know if you're gainfully employed at a full time job. I don't care if you're a janitor or an accountant or a mail carrier.
    I've been really into evolutionary psychology lately, and dating apps seem to bear some of its claims out. Men are into gene quality and reproductive potential and women are into resources.

  6. #6
    boltnrun
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    6,618
    Quote Originally Posted by Krankor [Register to see the link]
    I've been really into evolutionary psychology lately, and dating apps seem to bear some of its claims out. Men are into gene quality and reproductive potential and women are into resources.
    That's odd. The articles you read say men in middle age want to reproduce?

    I would think most of them wouldn't be interested in having more children at that age.

    Can you post a link to one of the articles that discuss men in middle age are looking to have more children? I'd like to read it.

  7. #7
    Krankor
    Platinum Member Krankor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    1,043
    Gender
    Male
    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    That's odd. The articles you read say men in middle age want to reproduce?

    I would think most of them wouldn't be interested in having more children at that age.

    Can you post a link to one of the articles that discuss men in middle age are looking to have more children? I'd like to read it.
    I think evolutionarily men would want to keep reintroducing until they die, which strictly physically speaking they basically can. Not necessarily if they have to be responsible for those children, but as casual mating strategy? Sure. It's not a conscious choice; it's instinct. The more little copies of your genes that are running around the better.

    I would refer you to Dr. Doug Lisle who's an evolutionary psychologist with a clinical practice. His website is esteemdynamics.org and he has a podcast called "Beat Your Genes." He's brilliant. His book "The Pleasure Trap" helped me lose weight and get healthy. You can find a ton of lectures by him on YouTube but those mainly have to do with healthy eating. His podcast and website however goes far more into relationships, self-esteem, male and female motivations, etc.

  8. #8
    j.man
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    8,401
    I do think women, generally speaking, have a higher standard when it comes to a partner's income. That boils down more to societal norms than it does biology, though. It'll be interesting to see how that paradigm shifts with women increasingly entering high-paying fields and professions. So long as you don't expect or demand your potential partner make more than you, I think income standards are perfectly reasonable

    That said, I was pretty honest with my OLD profile and my income. When I was listing $35,000 - $45,000, I was still getting messages from university professors and doctors, women easily clearing triple my income. I do think a lot of lower-income women have some sense of entitlement to a man who makes more, and I think many middle-class income women are more assertive than many men when it comes to an equitable financial contribution. But when you get into higher paying and high responsibility incomes and professions, I think women tend to make the same decisions men do in such a scenario. They're financially and professionally satisfied and tend to look for someone who brings something exceptional to the table in terms of their personal and social life, with less of a regard for their particular income or profession (though, as boltrun suggests, so long as they're gainfully employed and self-responsible).

  9. #9
    yatsue
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    429
    I make more than my boyfriend, but I never really looked at income while dating. Even after becoming official, I didn't want to hear about his income as I don't believe it's my business until we think about moving in together. Moreso, I looked if they were college educated and focused more on those who were in a field similar to my background (STEM). I wanted an intellectual I could relate to and certainly did not want someone rich because I don't like to spend much personally. I at least wanted a person who can fend for themselves on their own without any help and isn't careless about their finances, hence someone I could see a future together with.

    I believe your issue may be with the kind of dating site you're using. For example, if you were on seekingarrangements.com, then I could see why women would want a guy with a high income on there. Some websites are marketed for certain audiences and it is good to inform yourself.

  10. #10
    pippy longstocking
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    london
    Posts
    11,510
    I have no issue or interest in how much money someone has ( or hasn't ) ....as for the app asking you your income ..disgusting ..

  11.  

Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Top Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
I'm always the one messaging first lately.... not her.
I've been dating this woman for the past few weeks. We've gone on about 4 dates so far. Date #5 occurring this Saturday. Anyway, lately, it
Why would people ghost rather than saying something
Speaking to a girl for a month or so, been on a couple dates went well and we spoke a lot. After the last date we were still speaking for a few days
He didn't even bother to cancel our date leaving me feeling disrespected
We made plans to go out on Friday evening. No place/specific time but we did discuss possible things to do and I knew it would be in the evening
Does she like me? Another second date confusion...
Met another girl online and we went on a date at Sunday ([I]this is the 7th girl I go on a first date with for the past few months, I suck at
Is he really even interested? Please help.
I am really torn on what to do. I know I'm emotional at times and I don't know if this is honestly a problem or if it's all in my own head and I'm
Ghosted by an Ďamazingí man?
Hi Everyone, So after finally leaving an emotionally abusive relationship with a man I had a child with I finally started dating. I went on a few

Featured Threads
Red Flag if the guy on first date does not pay for my food?
A guys asked me out to a dinner and picked the restaurant. Toward the end, when the waiter came to drop off the bill, the waiter leaned toward the
narcissistic ex - help/ how to get back at him
So this is a post about a narcisisstic, immature ex. Not an ex boyfriend, not an ex boy, but something in between. It was something in between
University freshers fling?
[B]Hey there! [/B] Thank you so much for reading this. I just [I]REALLY [/I]need advice as it's SERIOUSLY affecting MY LIFE
Should you call out your ex when you find out they've been cheating on you?
Just some thoughts guys. Have you been cheated on? What did you do? Did you call your ex out on the lies and deceit? Or go on with your lives?
Ex is being so angry and hateful
I was in kind of relationship for almost 6-7 months but unexpectedly we broke up. He dumped. Just on a fight. Just day after our breakup. I went back
How to avoid checking up on ex social media?
Hi friends, Iím finding that posting here and seeing so many of us in the same boat is proving rather helpful in my own journey to move on. That
Break-up
Hi, I've recently just been broken up with by my girlfriend of two years, she has stated it wasn't all my fault and she is part to blame, but would
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •