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Thread: Women: how important is income to you?

  1. #1
    Krankor
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    Women: how important is income to you?

    I'm a 40-year-old male. I've been on several dating apps in the past year or so.

    I noticed that on one popular one in particular I was getting far less attention and responses than on the others. I couldn't figure out why. I had the same pictures up, the same basic profile, etc. And yet it was as if I was invisible on that site while I was getting pretty good attention on the others. After a while I pulled my profile and cancelled my memebership--that app was proving to be a poor investment of my time and money. But I was still puzzled as to why I had so little success there.

    Then, the other day it hit me like a ton of bricks. At my job I am comfortably in the middle class. With overtime and a pickup shift here and there I gross about $65K a year. I have a job that some women find attractive and that I'll never starve doing. But it will never make me rich or even well-off.

    This one particular app in question happens to allow members to filter by income. I am in the "50K to 75K" range. I realized that the problem may well have been that many women were settimg their filters for $75K and above.

    So, honest question. Women, how important is income to you. I think if you combined my income with even say a $30K earner we could have a nice, comfortable life together, but I have to wonder if a lot of women have a higher standard based on my experience.

  2. #2
    LHGirl
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    You should change your income to "no answer". It's nobody's business anyway.

    But to answer your question, yes, many women filter by income. Just as there are many men who only click on very attractive girls.

    The thing is, the guy who makes slightly less, or the girl who is really attractive, both have to end up being really good people to keep a relationship. Which is why I recommend ditching your income and let the ones who don't ask, into your world.

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    boltnrun
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    I ran into the issue of men my age (mid to late 40s) putting the age range of women they wanted to date as 22 to 35. Very little interest in women their own age.

    So, I feel ya.

    For me, I just want to know if you're gainfully employed at a full time job. I don't care if you're a janitor or an accountant or a mail carrier.

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    Krankor
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    LHGirl, good point. Honestly, I did answer because I thought that saying "no answer" would be interpreted as me being really low income and wanting to avoid the question.

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    Krankor
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    I ran into the issue of men my age (mid to late 40s) putting the age range of women they wanted to date as 22 to 35. Very little interest in women their own age.

    So, I feel ya.

    For me, I just want to know if you're gainfully employed at a full time job. I don't care if you're a janitor or an accountant or a mail carrier.
    I've been really into evolutionary psychology lately, and dating apps seem to bear some of its claims out. Men are into gene quality and reproductive potential and women are into resources.

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    boltnrun
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krankor [Register to see the link]
    I've been really into evolutionary psychology lately, and dating apps seem to bear some of its claims out. Men are into gene quality and reproductive potential and women are into resources.
    That's odd. The articles you read say men in middle age want to reproduce?

    I would think most of them wouldn't be interested in having more children at that age.

    Can you post a link to one of the articles that discuss men in middle age are looking to have more children? I'd like to read it.

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    Krankor
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    Quote Originally Posted by boltnrun [Register to see the link]
    That's odd. The articles you read say men in middle age want to reproduce?

    I would think most of them wouldn't be interested in having more children at that age.

    Can you post a link to one of the articles that discuss men in middle age are looking to have more children? I'd like to read it.
    I think evolutionarily men would want to keep reintroducing until they die, which strictly physically speaking they basically can. Not necessarily if they have to be responsible for those children, but as casual mating strategy? Sure. It's not a conscious choice; it's instinct. The more little copies of your genes that are running around the better.

    I would refer you to Dr. Doug Lisle who's an evolutionary psychologist with a clinical practice. His website is esteemdynamics.org and he has a podcast called "Beat Your Genes." He's brilliant. His book "The Pleasure Trap" helped me lose weight and get healthy. You can find a ton of lectures by him on YouTube but those mainly have to do with healthy eating. His podcast and website however goes far more into relationships, self-esteem, male and female motivations, etc.

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    j.man
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    I do think women, generally speaking, have a higher standard when it comes to a partner's income. That boils down more to societal norms than it does biology, though. It'll be interesting to see how that paradigm shifts with women increasingly entering high-paying fields and professions. So long as you don't expect or demand your potential partner make more than you, I think income standards are perfectly reasonable

    That said, I was pretty honest with my OLD profile and my income. When I was listing $35,000 - $45,000, I was still getting messages from university professors and doctors, women easily clearing triple my income. I do think a lot of lower-income women have some sense of entitlement to a man who makes more, and I think many middle-class income women are more assertive than many men when it comes to an equitable financial contribution. But when you get into higher paying and high responsibility incomes and professions, I think women tend to make the same decisions men do in such a scenario. They're financially and professionally satisfied and tend to look for someone who brings something exceptional to the table in terms of their personal and social life, with less of a regard for their particular income or profession (though, as boltrun suggests, so long as they're gainfully employed and self-responsible).

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    yatsue
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    I make more than my boyfriend, but I never really looked at income while dating. Even after becoming official, I didn't want to hear about his income as I don't believe it's my business until we think about moving in together. Moreso, I looked if they were college educated and focused more on those who were in a field similar to my background (STEM). I wanted an intellectual I could relate to and certainly did not want someone rich because I don't like to spend much personally. I at least wanted a person who can fend for themselves on their own without any help and isn't careless about their finances, hence someone I could see a future together with.

    I believe your issue may be with the kind of dating site you're using. For example, if you were on seekingarrangements.com, then I could see why women would want a guy with a high income on there. Some websites are marketed for certain audiences and it is good to inform yourself.

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    pippy longstocking
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    I have no issue or interest in how much money someone has ( or hasn't ) ....as for the app asking you your income ..disgusting ..

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