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Thread: Is it wrong to find out gender without dad there??

  1. #1
    Kaykayxo
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    Is it wrong to find out gender without dad there??

    I am getting my 20 week scan and dad was supposed to be there . We are an hour apart right now and he told me pretty last min he could not make it. He was trying to be apologetic about it as I was NOT happy. Well now my mom and aunt will be coming and I was and know they are anticipating to find out the gender!!!

    I made a joke about not being able to wait to him and he didn't seem happy , said its up to me but wanted it to be together. I won't even see him til next week now that will be a lot of waiting for me I am just not sure I can do that am I horrible if I find out and do a little suprise for him on its own?

    I feel pressure mainly knowing my family will want me to find out and my mom doesn't love him to begin with never mind that he cancelled so if I wait because of him I know they will have something to say about that ..

  2. #2
    agent
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    Are you with Dad?

    Because if you're together you need to start putting him ahead of your mum. He's the parent that matters in this case.

  3. #3
    Batya33
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    I would wait if he really wants to be there and couldn't make it. There will be plenty of situations where you have to compromise on things like this because you and he are both parents of this child. Hope your pregnancy continues to go smoothly.

  4. #4
    pippy longstocking
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    I agree with agent ....this is between him and you ....you don't have to wait , but ask the nurse to write it down or ask your mum to leave the room or something ..then tell him first ...then tell your mum and aunt .

  5. #5
    Hollyj
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    Are you still living with your mother and giving her money? Is she treating you any better?

    How do you support this child if you are supporting your mother and four other kids?

    You are only 21. How will you support your own child?

  6. #6
    j.man
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    Honestly, it doesn't sound like something that's terribly pressing to find out. I'd see if there's a day and time that can work for both of you. If you can't reasonably come up with a time, then by all means, indulge yourself.

  7. #7
    Kaykayxo
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    Thank you everyone . I guess I am just irritated because I feel like he should have been more organized and somewhat knew this and canceled right before . We are together though and is a good point that he is the parent who matters . I will try to wait..

  8. #8
    itsallgrand
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    What happened that he couldn't make it? I agree with the waiting. But I get why you are anxious/excited to know too.

  9. #9
    tattoobunnie
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    We have the sono tech put it in an envelope to open later in front of family and friends months later. The second one was open at our gender reveal party. No need to know right at 20 weeks. This is a big deal. Do it together.

  10. #10
    HeartGoesOn
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    I understand this was not your question, but why are you living apart? Other than that, I agree with others as to this being between you and him, first and foremost.

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