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Thread: One of my friends put stones in my burger but none of them told me who did it

  1. #1
    Luke5

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    One of my friends put stones in my burger but none of them told me who did it

    I'm 30 years old. When I was 21 and at university, my friends and I went to McDonald's. There were around 15 of us in the group. After we had sat down to eat, I left my food to use the men's room. When I got back, after a couple of minutes or so, all seemed fine. My friends were all around the table eating and chatting away. When I took a bite from my burger I crunched on something hard. Immediately after this my friends burst into laughter. I checked inside the burger and found stones. I know the stones weren't in the burger when I had left it because I had opened it up to take out the gherkins, which I don't like. After getting over the shock, I questioned my friends on who had done the prank. They all just ignored my questions and tried to change the subject. I was sure, beyond reasonable doubt, that one of them had done it, and not a stranger. 1. They were surrounding the burger at the table when I left and got back. 2. They had all made progress eating, which implied that they hadn't all left the table in the mean time. 3. They all laughed when it happened. 4. And they kept quiet when questioned them on it. After a while, I dropped the questioning and tried to forget about it.

    After graduating from university, I kept in touch with some of my university friends, and invited the two who I was closest to (who were present in our group at McDonald's) to my stag do, which was 3 years ago. Since then, though, communications with even those closest two have fizzled out.

    I want to keep options open to develop a relationship with one or more of my university friends in the future, but I would find this difficult knowing what happened at McDonald's. I could easily have broken my teeth on those stones. I don't seek revenge or retribution, but I feel I need to know who did it. Unfortunately, as I can't recall exactly who was with me in the group at McDonalds, I can't rule out anyone who I knew at university who might have been in the group.

    I realise now that none of them were my friends. I also realise that I should have dealt with it very differently and at the time. But what should I do now? I could just never communicate with them again based on what happened. But what if one of them wanted to get in contact with me again? I"m still 'friends' with most of them on Facebook. If I ignored them, they would likely not know why, especially if it was one of the two who I invited to my stag do. I would find it sad that I have closed the door on possible future relationships with all the people who I hung out with at university. Those who were in the group at McDonalds might regret how they dealt with it themselves. I could just try to pretend the incident in McDonalds had never happened, but then how would I know if they might treat me the same way if something similar happened again? How could I have any sort of relationship with them on that basis?

    What should I do?

  2. #2
    pippy longstocking
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    I am going to be honest Luke , 50% of me thinks this is a wind up and the other 50% thinks this is a shining example of how bullying can affect a person .

    You are all 30 years old now , there is a big difference then when you where 21 ... It doesn't sound like it was an ongoing situation of bullying , but more a one off prank between a group of friends that would never happen again .

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  4. #3
    AtitAgain
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    Are you seriously hung up on a prank from 9 years ago? Dude... move on man. If you think those guys were douche bags, then don't hang out with them anymore. The fact that you are posting in the internet about this is... sad man.

    The guys were just having fun in the way that idiot 20YR old males have fun. Don't get me wrong, what they did was not cool at all. But 9 years ago man... forget about it, don't give it that much thought.

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  6. #4
    Unreasonable
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    Uh, I don't think you need to pretend it didn't happen, but I think you need to get over it. You could have broken your teeth, but you didn't. So essentially nothing of consequence happened aside from what should be mild embarrassment. They probably didn't respond to your questioning because the answer is obvious: They did it. My guess is these people who did this don't even remember it.

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  8. #5
    Astrogirl
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    Whenever an incident happens there is nothing we can do to actually rewind the situation. Many people often find themselves thinking about something in the past that affected them in a bad way. I find myself going over the past especially late at night or if I've had a bad day. I don't think you're so much solely concentrating on this incident than suffering from anxiety. What's happened is gone and I sense it was no more than prank to make everyone laugh. Nothing bad came from the incident and I bet if you look back you will have some point also played a practical joke on someone. Your friends meant no (emotional) harm.

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  10. #6
    Luke5

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    Thanks all - that's helpful. I guess it's just strange to think that I could go to a reunion and everyone there might know who had been behind the prank apart from me. It's also difficult to envisage ever developing a relationship with one of them, knowing that it might have been them. It's not the prank that's the issue for me, it's that everyone kept quiet about it and that, for all I know, those in the group may still choose to behave in the same way now. I'm curious to know where the line should be drawn. What if the prank had resulted in me swallowing a stone and then having to have surgery or whatever. Would the answer always be to allow the relationships to develop as if the incident hadn't happened?

  11. #7
    Astrogirl
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    You're placing too much thought into it. Nothing happened. You're uninjured. It happened a long time ago so stop dwelling on it as you can't change it. Your friends expected you to laugh. I guess their silence was a response to your inability to see the funny side of it and you didn't give them the reaction they thought you would give.

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  13. #8
    jimthzz
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    I'm not a big Bible thumper, but 1 Corinthians 13:11 makes a lot of sense in your situation:|

    "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."

    You're a man now. Childish pranks and the resulting hurt do not matter now.

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  15. #9
    DancingFool
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke5 [Register to see the link]
    Thanks all - that's helpful. I guess it's just strange to think that I could go to a reunion and everyone there might know who had been behind the prank apart from me. It's also difficult to envisage ever developing a relationship with one of them, knowing that it might have been them. It's not the prank that's the issue for me, it's that everyone kept quiet about it and that, for all I know, those in the group may still choose to behave in the same way now. I'm curious to know where the line should be drawn. What if the prank had resulted in me swallowing a stone and then having to have surgery or whatever. Would the answer always be to allow the relationships to develop as if the incident hadn't happened?
    Most people don't have your level of neurosis. It was a stupid prank. It was supposed to be funny. Nothing bad came of it. In fact what was most likely to happen, happened - you realized right away and no harm done. Your reaction was and currently is seriously off. Nobody even remembers this prank except for you. Problem is that you are to this day....9 years.....still obsessed about it and make no mistake that at this point this is an unhealthy mental obsession on your part. Your sense of betrayal is beyond exaggerated to the point where you might want to seek some counseling to address your personality hang up that is driving you to still obsess about this and to still feel this sense of fear and betrayal. It.is.not.normal.

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  17. #10
    pippy longstocking
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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke5 [Register to see the link]
    Thanks all - that's helpful. I guess it's just strange to think that I could go to a reunion and everyone there might know who had been behind the prank apart from me. It's also difficult to envisage ever developing a relationship with one of them, knowing that it might have been them. It's not the prank that's the issue for me, it's that everyone kept quiet about it and that, for all I know, those in the group may still choose to behave in the same way now. I'm curious to know where the line should be drawn. What if the prank had resulted in me swallowing a stone and then having to have surgery or whatever. Would the answer always be to allow the relationships to develop as if the incident hadn't happened?
    Honestly Luke if it had turned a bad corner into an accident , like you needing surgery then they would have all been sorry I am sure . My daughter and her mates are always pulling stupid pranks on each other , I am trying think of something to give as an example but I have gone blank .

    Is there something else that you are not telling us ?

    The line has been drawn mate honest ... everyone has grown up and they will have no idea how much this is bothering you

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