My girlfriend is lying to me

I been with my girlfriend for a year now and we live together... like all relationships we had our ups and downs and the issue is her lying to me and me catching this lies ...

 

And I’m guilty of going through her phone when I get the chance, but this is bc three months into our relationship I find out she’s been texting her ex and there conversations are explicit and I still have the messages to this day.. I was devastated she was sleeping next to me in my old room before we moved In together and the guy messaged her that’s when I confronted her and she first lied to me saying those messages were for a friend but it was a terrible lie she later confessed and assured me nothing happened between them .. so I let it go I gave her a chance and tried to move on but I can’t shake that feeling off.

 

To this day I catch her lying to me on multiple occasions and I don’t know what to do .. I’ve talked to her multiple times about this and she says she loves me and even is planning our future together. I love her so much that I forgive her every time and when I catch her lying she starts crying and threatens to leave .. after we resolve the issue she continues to talk about our future.

 

Just today she told me her friend was coming over to bring her a medication. I got upset and told her I don’t want another man in my house .. she started saying that he’s gay so why am I overreacting and she says that all the time .. just do context I never yell or raise my hand .. I call her over sit next to her and calmly talk to her about it to fix it ... I do everything for her .. even if I end up broke I don’t care as long as she’s happy .and I even shower her with affection so she knows how much I care and love her ... and she still tries to talk to other guys and Asks them to come over when I’m at work .. and she says they are just friends and just want to talk

 

And I’m not allowed to have female friends and makes threats about what she will do if she catches me talking or seeing someone else that I’m hers and no one else’s but those rules can’t apply to her bc that’s not what she wants

 

Sorry if I’m all over the place I just don’t know what to do ...

 

I just downloaded this app idk if u can ask questions but if u can .. go ahead I’ll answer

I been with my girlfriend for a year now and we live together... like all relationships we had our ups and downs and the issue is her lying to me and me catching this lies ...

 

And I’m guilty of going through her phone when I get the chance, but this is bc three months into our relationship I find out she’s been texting her ex and there conversations are explicit and I still have the messages to this day.. I was devastated she was sleeping next to me in my old room before we moved In together and the guy messaged her that’s when I confronted her and she first lied to me saying those messages were for a friend but it was a terrible lie she later confessed and assured me nothing happened between them .. so I let it go I gave her a chance and tried to move on but I can’t shake that feeling off.

 

To this day I catch her lying to me on multiple occasions and I don’t know what to do .. I’ve talked to her multiple times about this and she says she loves me and even is planning our future together. I love her so much that I forgive her every time and when I catch her lying she starts crying and threatens to leave .. after we resolve the issue she continues to talk about our future.

 

Just today she told me her friend was coming over to bring her a medication. I got upset and told her I don’t want another man in my house .. she started saying that he’s gay so why am I overreacting and she says that all the time .. just do context I never yell or raise my hand .. I call her over sit next to her and calmly talk to her about it to fix it ... I do everything for her .. even if I end up broke I don’t care as long as she’s happy .and I even shower her with affection so she knows how much I care and love her ... and she still tries to talk to other guys and Asks them to come over when I’m at work .. and she says they are just friends and just want to talk

 

And I’m not allowed to have female friends and makes threats about what she will do if she catches me talking or seeing someone else that I’m hers and no one else’s but those rules can’t apply to her bc that’s not what she wants

 

Sorry if I’m all over the place I just don’t know what to do ...

 

I just downloaded this app idk if u can ask questions but if u can .. go ahead I’ll answer

Sometimes love can be blind even when the truth is in hindsight. A relationship has to have a solid foundation on trust without that you have nothing. Actions speak louder than word's at the end of the day. She has showned you that she doesn't respect you at the end of the day. She does these thing's because she knows that you care more about her than she does for you. SORRY if that came out rude but I just can't stand how some females walk all over the nice dudes. You have 2 options here which are really simple. You can try to express how talking to her EX makes you feel uncomfortable & that you don't like how she feels the need to lie even when u have caught her RED handed. If she cares about you like she says she will respect you enough to end all communcation with her EX. The past is the past for a reason. How would she feel if you were talking and being inappropriate with one of your EX girlfriends? She wouldn't like it because truth be told all humans have a jealous side. Once a person lies it's hard to trust them. Can you just imagine what else she has been doing that you may not know about? Sorry but in all honesty your heart doesn't deserve that.... & you say you have beem dating for a year? Your second option is to just leave her alone and find you someone who respect your feelings. You cannot get back time but what you can get back is your life and enjoy being stress free. Trust me when i say she will soon realize that she walked over a good one. I have been in this exact siuation and i wish someonw could have kept it real with me. In all honesty i know it isn't easy but just try to see if she will listen to you about how you feel. If she doesn't that it will all be up to you about what you should do. Good Luck!!!

You need to wake up and admit to yourself that she's a liar and she's got guy friends coming to your house and just because she says they are gay, therefore not a threat, or they are just friends, doesnt mean that's true. She's lied a lot to you yet you let her get away with it and stick with her despite it all. She's using you and treating you like a doormat. She has rules for you that dont apply to her. Why do you put up with this? She's a liar! Liars cant be trusted.

You keep rewarding her bad behaviour. Not to be unkind, but what do you expect?

 

Of course she doesn't stop lying. You have showed her over and over that you'll tolerate it and have no boundaries. She has no reason to stop. In short, you're her doormat. You don't shower a dishonest and untrustworthy person with affection and monetary rewards. That won't make her stop - it encourages her to continue. You're going about this all wrong.

 

If you really want this to stop, implement some dang consequences, man.

You keep rewarding her bad behaviour. Not to be unkind, but what do you expect?

 

Of course she doesn't stop lying. You have showed her over and over that you'll tolerate it and have no boundaries. She has no reason to stop. In short, you're her doormat. You don't shower a dishonest and untrustworthy person with affection and monetary rewards. That won't make her stop - it encourages her to continue. You're going about this all wrong.

 

If you really want this to stop, implement some dang consequences, man.

 

I don’t know how to do that properly because there are the good times and she tries to motivate me to better myself and says that she has my back and all these things and has never said one bad thing about me , but then she gets in a specific way and starts lying and I catch her ... one time I told you’re a bad liar idk y u do that ....

 

She says that she knows she needs to stop and knows I don’t deserve that .. but still doesn’t stop

 

I honestly don’t want to lose her but idk maybe I’m just a coward

Sometimes love can be blind even when the truth is in hindsight. A relationship has to have a solid foundation on trust without that you have nothing. Actions speak louder than word's at the end of the day. She has showned you that she doesn't respect you at the end of the day. She does these thing's because she knows that you care more about her than she does for you. SORRY if that came out rude but I just can't stand how some females walk all over the nice dudes. You have 2 options here which are really simple. You can try to express how talking to her EX makes you feel uncomfortable & that you don't like how she feels the need to lie even when u have caught her RED handed. If she cares about you like she says she will respect you enough to end all communcation with her EX. The past is the past for a reason. How would she feel if you were talking and being inappropriate with one of your EX girlfriends? She wouldn't like it because truth be told all humans have a jealous side. Once a person lies it's hard to trust them. Can you just imagine what else she has been doing that you may not know about? Sorry but in all honesty your heart doesn't deserve that.... & you say you have beem dating for a year? Your second option is to just leave her alone and find you someone who respect your feelings. You cannot get back time but what you can get back is your life and enjoy being stress free. Trust me when i say she will soon realize that she walked over a good one. I have been in this exact siuation and i wish someonw could have kept it real with me. In all honesty i know it isn't easy but just try to see if she will listen to you about how you feel. If she doesn't that it will all be up to you about what you should do. Good Luck!!!

 

Thanks for the reply but I can’t bring myself to

Leave her .. whenever I think about it I start to cry and think about how much I’ll miss her .. I’m just really confused right now ... she praises me and said to me on multiple occasions how she can’t wait to have her dream wedding with me and all these good things and still is able to do all that bad to me it’s frustrating

You need to wake up and admit to yourself that she's a liar and she's got guy friends coming to your house and just because she says they are gay, therefore not a threat, or they are just friends, doesnt mean that's true. She's lied a lot to you yet you let her get away with it and stick with her despite it all. She's using you and treating you like a doormat. She has rules for you that dont apply to her. Why do you put up with this? She's a liar! Liars cant be trusted.

I honestly don’t want to think that she’s using me .. I don’t want to believe ppl can be that fake just to use u

I honestly don’t want to think that she’s using me .. I don’t want to believe ppl can be that fake just to use u

 

Trust me... some people are. And your girlfriend is not inspiring a lot of confidence right now.

 

One thing I would say is that people who cheat, often accuse, or are overly concerned about their partners cheating on them. If they do it, then they are worried their mate will do it too. Isn't that familiar with her preventing you from having female friends, who DON'T EVEN COME TO YOUR APARTMENT WHILE SHE IS OFF AT WORK?

 

You need to man up and dump this girl. Get someone who really loves and respects you. First you need to respect yourself. You are enabling her, respect your dignity. What I am going to say is cruel, but I don't doubt that while she has been in bed with another dude in the bed where you sleep she maybe have said to him how you would never leave her and giggled as he proceeds to bang the hell out of her.

 

Have some respect for yourself man.

I had a girlfriend like that once. We were together a couple years and lived together for a bit..but the lies...once I sat down and made a list of all the lies and it took up the whole page. Eventually I just had to end it..I don't even think about her anymore. Just dump her and find someone else. I did and was with my wife for 24 years until we split up but that relationship was much more real and meaningful than with the liar.

'It is the thief that most fears being robbed.' Funny how she makes threats about what she will do if you ever did what she is actually doing to you...right now...behind your back.

I honestly don’t want to think that she’s using me .. I don’t want to believe ppl can be that fake just to use u

 

I think that's your real problem. You're lying to yourself. People CAN be fake just to use you. The people you want to love can be totally depraved. It sucks, but it's true. And the sooner you get honest with yourself about what you're dealing with, the better.

I think that's your real problem. You're lying to yourself. People CAN be fake just to use you. The people you want to love can be totally depraved. It sucks, but it's true. And the sooner you get honest with yourself about what you're dealing with, the better.

 

Listen and learn. Jibralta is absolutely correct.

She is wrong. If she has friends = you have friends......

Does the guy look gay or even talk gay ?

& if she constantly lying, just drop the relationship because

youy are going to kill your self at the ends when she leaves.

with one of those gay friends.

I feel like she is using you & think you are her puppy because you do

everything for her.

If you going to stay - you will need to just deal with her lying because IT IS NOT GOING TO STOP

or

Just leave and find someone better !!!!

You need to leave her, or at least tell her that if she doesn't change you will leave her. Maybe if she actually thought she would lose you, she would smarten up.