Should I let my long-distance relationship/lover go?

SO this is my story. I met this amazing guy on August 12, 2017 & we both fell in love at first sight. The only problem was: he was leaving for 8 months in 8 days. Nevertheless, we spent every waking moment of those 8 days together & it was the most amazing 8 days of both of our lives. I don't know if anyone else has ever fallen in love in an instant, but it happened to both of us with each other.

 

So he leaves. We promise to make it work & stay together although we both know it's gonna be hard. NOT only is he living on a different continent, but we are experiencing an 8 hour time difference as well. We communicating & facetime etc is very hard as we both work full time jobs. (he is a hockey player)

 

Anyway, It was amazing at first as I believe we were still on a high from us actually being together. I have never done a LDR before & so I started to get stressed out if I woke up to no message from him. So I ended it; said it was too hard & we would see what would happen in the future. I then regretted it & said lets work on things. So we tried again.

 

THEN I noticed he was liking other girls pictures left, right, & center & said ok, im not having this. Im a successful, attractive woman & do not need to put up with any foolishness from a man. So I got upset, called him a few names & ended it.

 

This time we didn't speak for a day. He was really upset with me for calling him names & didn't like that I was monitoring his social media. (I agree I shouldn't do that, but im not liking sexy guys' pictures)

 

This time we decide to stay on good terms & not say we are together, but to stay in touch & see what the future holds.

 

Now I hear from him every other day saying "I miss you so much, I am ready to come home and be with you full time" or "Lets rock this world together, f*** everyone & everything else) but then I wont hear from him again for a few days.

 

I know we care deeply for each other & if we were both on the same continent, in the same country, in the same city, we would be together 100%. But I hate that I feel like our initial spark is fading.

 

Do I hold on for this guy for another SEVEN 7 months..... or do I move on with my life

 

Side note: IT may sound crazy, but we`ve both said we want to marry each other one day & we will never find the connection we had with anyone else. I am 27 & he is 34.

The only foolishness I see on his end is begging you to have him back. Just let it go. You don't seem emotionally independent enough for long distance and he seems pretty desperate. Not sure what the point is.

First of all, it's lust and chemistry. Love takes time to grow, when you're well beyond the honeymoon stage. It's unwise to think of marriage to someone unless you've spent a good year physically together. Believe me, I remember when I once met a guy and writing an e-mail to him that I thought only men like him existed in fairy tales. And that's what the beginning high is--a magical fantasy. Only with time, when you've gone beyond scratching the surface of who a person really is, will you come to know if a person is good for you or not. I found out that guy who I dated for a year ended up being a con artist weasel who cared only for himself.

 

I'm not saying your man will turn out like this. I'm saying you don't know which way it'll go--good or bad, because you don't even know him.

 

When he gets back after 8 months, will he be gone again for that length of time when the season starts again?

 

If so, I wouldn't continue on in an LDR. That's a lonely life with a great risk for failure. If he will be local with you permanently, only you can decide if you want to try dating him when he arrives. What's been his relationship history? If his longest relationship was x amount of months, then that's what you can also expect. If you're not exclusive, why should he be acting like a bf by contacting you daily? You have no right to expect that.

 

Do you really think he will stop "liking" girls photos when you get together? Probably not. Since you're not happy with that, I'd probably suggest dating a guy who doesn't do that.

(he is a hockey player)

I think he probably has a chick just like you where ever he lands.

 

Call an end to this so that you can get over the initial rush of lust and be open enough to find a great guy where you live who won't be travelling more then he's home.

 

Side note: IT may sound crazy, but we`ve both said we want to marry each other one day & we will never find the connection we had with anyone else. I am 27 & he is 34.

Yes, you will find a connection as good if you find another player like him who tells you everything you want to hear just before he leaves.

 

He has hockey groupies vying for his attention at every game, I'm sure.

OP, I don't know if you have much experience with hockey players, but as someone who grew up with both brothers and all my male relatives in the sport: the ones who stay away from home for extended periods are never lonely for long. Puckbunnies abound.

 

I think you need to let this go. He is way too old to be talking about marriage in the lusty honeymoon stage with someone he's known a couple months. You two hardly know each other; any guy making grand future plans like that is usually either a teenager or a player who knows how to get women wrapped around his finger.

 

A lot of red flags here. I would try to find a guy who's not on the road so much and is emotionally mature. I had to roll my eyes at "Let's rock this world, f**k everyone" - leave that kind of talk for frat dudes, not men in their mid 30s.