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I have been with my partner for going on 2 years now and like all relationships we have had our ups and downs. He was living with me and my family for about 7 months and we fought a lot i thought it was simply because he was away from him family didn’t have a job and was just feeling a lot of pressure and anxiety because he was feeling like he was letting me down. eventually we decided to move down to L.A. with his family and I thought that would help but it seems things are getting worse his mom was diagnosed with cancer but is in the clear now but he is just so angry all the time and I feel like I never do anything right I also suffer from anxiety and depression even more so now that I’m away from my entire family in a unfamiliar place but whenever I try to help him or just come up with some way to help him he gets upset and says I don’t care enough to listen even when I am listening and trying to think of some way to help it seems to never be good enough for him he picks fights with me at work makes us late with his mood swings is always quick to point out something I do wrong and holds a grudge like there is no tomorrow. I just feel so emotionally drained by it all and I feel awful for feeling so drained all the time because I do love him more than anything and I am trying to fix my issues and faults in the relationship but I just feel like I’m not doing enough so my question is should I feel bad for feeling the way I feel and is there anyway I can actually help him? I have suggested he see a therapist or get back on his medicine but he refuses and gets upset.

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I think you have to get away from him and save yourself. He's just pulling you down further into darkness and despair. He's angry and you're the person he's lashing out at. In a way, you're feeding his depression.

 

It's also emotional abuse. He's controlling you. He's destroyed your self-esteem and your self-respect. It's conditioning. He blames you for something minor, gets angry at you. You try to console him and say you're sorry. He then becomes all lovey-dovey for a little while and then he picks a fight again.

 

You need to get out while you still have some energy left. The relationship is toxic.It would also be the best way for him to figure out things, although part of the abuse cycle would be for him to try to woo you back into his life. You can't fall for it, if he does. Total NC and try to find someone capable of love and who isn't trying to bring you into their dark cloud!

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