Did I take it with dignity?

Hi all,

So a couple of months ago I had the awful experience of being blindsided by a guy I really liked. Basically I was starting to fall for him, only to have him break up with me via text literally an hour after he'd left my house after staying over (and being intimate). Suffice to say I was in shock for a while, but now that I've had time to reflect and get along with the healing process, I'm wondering if I achieved the dignity I aimed for.

Basically, after he sent the break up text we messaged back and forth for a little while, mainly for me to try and gain some understanding as I hadn't been given the decency and respect of a face to face. I didn't get much more than confusing self- contradictions to be honest e.g. 'you're perfect for me but I'm just not ready'. Not once did I beg, plead, try to change his mind, get angry, use any swearing or even an exclamation mark etc. Afterwards I went absolute NC and focused on me, went out with friends, went shopping, out to restaurants etc. He saw all of this on my Snapchat story, which he followed continuously until he removed me a week later. I use Snapchat all the time too, so it was by no means a way of rubbing his nose into anything. Friends have suggested he removed me because his ego was knocked by the fact that I wasn't a crying wreck, texting and calling him, and was having fun. That and I made a point of looking at literally nothing he posted at all; if I was aware he's looked at mine, he'll have been aware that I'd stopped doing the same. Two days before, he'd messaged me to congratulate me on a big success I'd had at work. My response was polite and I thanked him but didn't leave room for a conversation to start up as I didnt want to look like I was using his reach out (or breadcrumb?) as a way to jump into a conversation.

It's now been 7 weeks of solid NC other than the one message he sent and I replied to. It hasn't been easy but I've done it. Just wondering if you think I handled everything with the dignity that I intended to? And if anyone has any thoughts on how a dumper reacts/thinks when they don't get the begging, pleading, angry response that they possibly expect, and are instead presented with dignity and an immediate NC wall?

I think you handled it just fine.

Hi all,

So a couple of months ago I had the awful experience of being blindsided by a guy I really liked. Basically I was starting to fall for him, only to have him break up with me via text literally an hour after he'd left my house after staying over (and being intimate). Suffice to say I was in shock for a while, but now that I've had time to reflect and get along with the healing process, I'm wondering if I achieved the dignity I aimed for.

 

Basically, after he sent the break up text we messaged back and forth for a little while, mainly for me to try and gain some understanding as I hadn't been given the decency and respect of a face to face. I didn't get much more than confusing self- contradictions to be honest e.g. 'you're perfect for me but I'm just not ready'. Not once did I beg, plead, try to change his mind, get angry, use any swearing or even an exclamation mark etc. Afterwards I went absolute NC and focused on me, went out with friends, went shopping, out to restaurants etc. He saw all of this on my Snapchat story, which he followed continuously until he removed me a week later. I use Snapchat all the time too, so it was by no means a way of rubbing his nose into anything. Friends have suggested he removed me because his ego was knocked by the fact that I wasn't a crying wreck, texting and calling him, and was having fun. That and I made a point of looking at literally nothing he posted at all; if I was aware he's looked at mine, he'll have been aware that I'd stopped doing the same. Two days before, he'd messaged me to congratulate me on a big success I'd had at work. My response was polite and I thanked him but didn't leave room for a conversation to start up as I didnt want to look like I was using his reach out (or breadcrumb?) as a way to jump into a conversation.

 

It's now been 7 weeks of solid NC other than the one message he sent and I replied to. It hasn't been easy but I've done it. Just wondering if you think I handled everything with the dignity that I intended to? And if anyone has any thoughts on how a dumper reacts/thinks when they don't get the begging, pleading, angry response that they possibly expect, and are instead presented with dignity and an immediate NC wall?

In this situation, you did yourself a huge favor and saved your dignity. Idk what it is w/these type of people, they seem to get some ego boost from treating another person like this. If you didn't go nc, he would give you breadcrumbs, leave and then this would repeat.