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My father disowned me...


RukiaLock

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My father disowned me...

 

I have never felt love by my father... He disowned me as a baby... I never got to meet him till I was 3 years old... From that point on he helped raise me with my mother... When I got older he would distance himself from me... He would yell and say horrible things to me... I noticed as a child he loved to draw so I tried drawing... Of course I wasn't good at it at the time but I just wanted to impress him and be close to him like a daughter and father relationship should be... He went into the army and than my family had to moved to Florida we told him and sent letter that we where moving to Florida and he got them cause he would send a letter back to us... My mom had e and my two siblings live with his sister while she went up Ohio to pack and move our stuff to Florida. Well during the short time I lived with her she beat me everyday and abused me... My face was black and blue, I had a busted lip and several bruises on my body... Ah end my mom came to get us from my aunt she cried when she saw me... She didn't know my aunt would do that to me. So she called my dad and told him what his sister did to me... He didn't believe her... When he came back from the army (he was in boot camp) it seemed things got worse... He treated more cruel than ever before... It seemed like nothing was happy... He pinned my siblings against me and abused me... Soon the army dishonor discharged him cause he wouldn't go to work all he wanted to do was do drugs... My mother would go to work to support us... My father began to hit me and my brother... He even slapped my mom in the face... After years of the abuse... It felt like I was forced to love him but inside i just wanted a dad that would treat me like a daughter... When I turned 18 he packed up his stuff and left... He promised he would be back home and he would make everything better... But he lied... A year went by and I was waiting for him to come home... But he never did. He finally told us that he wasn't coming home... He ended up getting with a new woman and her children and he disowned me and my siblings... I have tried to contact him and his woman called me the N word and some very unpleasant things... I cried and cried... In my heart I just want my father to accept me and treat me with the respect I give him... It feels like my heart aches nonstop... I still cry... This is the 2 year without him...

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Oh Rukialock, your father doesn't deserve your love. I am so very sorry he has been so cruel to you, I think you might feel better in the long term if you let go of the want for acceptance from this man (maybe disown him back). You won't be alone, anyone can have a kid but not everyone is good at parenting (or being a decent human being).

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