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Thread: Strippers at bachelor/bachelorette parties

  1. #1
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    Strippers at bachelor/bachelorette parties

    So I am getting married in 6 months. I want nothing to do with having a stripper or going to a strip club for the bachelor party. Now my fiancé doesn't want it but her sister who is planning the party wants to have one anyway. We've talked and she says she will tell her no to doing it. But..I worry it'll happen anyway. To me it's awful close to cheating. I've heard what goes on- the guy putting his junk in women's faces, other women trying to pressure the bride into doing things with the stripper. It just seems like a bad situation to put yourself into. Am I wrong?

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Tell the sister you don't want or need a stripper and you will turn her away if you have to . It is your party not the sister's. If you don't want strippers you're perfectly within your right who needs a stripper for a bachelor / bachelorette party anyway .

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    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    It's one of those things that I'd personally consider pretty harmless but can understand those who do set that boundary. Thing is it's not about her sister. She's capable of telling her sister in no uncertain terms that she's simply not going to have a stripper or go to a strip club for her party. And, frankly, at this point, that whole idea is tired and basic as all get-out. But it's on her to enforce that boundary if it's something you and she agree on.

    However, being that all you can control is you, for your end of things, it may be worth it to rationalize it a bit and think of it as a "last hoorah" and, if you trust her not to be groping on the guy (rules for male strippers do tend to be more relaxed), chalk it up to the ladies enjoying the one-time novelty and that being that.

    Best you can do is communicate your boundaries clearly without necessarily restricting her and hope hers line up with yours and that she'll respect them.

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    I'm the male and I don't want one. My fiancé says she doesn't want one either but her sister thinks it's a neccesary thing. She claims she will turn the stripper away or leave if one shows up but my fiancé hates confrontation

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    I don't think it's a healthy way to begin a marriage. I wouldn't want another half-naked woman writhing on my husband, even if it's for only one wild night and it's tradition. I trust him, but just because of tradition, to me it's sleazy and if it's not appropriate on any other day, why make exceptions? And when I expect certain behavior from my husband, I don't engage in it myself.

    Is your fiance a strong woman who makes sure things are done her way in important situations like this, or is she a people pleaser who lacks a spine? You need to know, going into a marriage, that your potential wife will seriously take into consideration your feelings on important matters. Have another discussion with her that on a scale of 1 to 10, what your feelings on this matter rates. If it's high and her feelings aren't high on the opposing side, she should agree to your wishes.

    On the other hand, if they go behind her back and hire a stripper, I'm assuming you will trust her to handle the situation in the best way possible, since you've chosen to marry her. People see attractive people while out and about on a daily basis at work, at the grocery store, etc. It's not like a faithful person will be tempted to stray when that happens. If you don't have faith in her, you shouldn't be marrying her.

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    Yeah everything I've heard and read tells me that these male strippers are not innocent nor harmless. It's one thing to watch and another to grope and have the guy put his junk in their faces. Which is the norm from all I've heard. IMO if you feel the need for a last hoorah then maybe you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. Some stats I've found- 1/3 brides cheat when there are strippers, over 50% engage in some kind of behavior that would jeopardize the relationship.

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    Well then the sister can go to a strip club that night and the rest of the people can have the party that your fiancée wants .

  9. #8
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    Well I made a huge deal that at my bacholar party there would be no strippers. It was my party so I told anyone if they wanted one then they can have one at their party. We went camping for 4 days on the river, which was what I wanted and axed any chance of a stripper.

    However my wife ended up going to a few strip clubs. Funny enough no male strippers were at any, just females. But I had no say in what they did, wasn't my party, it was my wife's.

    I believe you should have whatever you want at yours. However, unless you want to be a crazy controlling guy you can't decide what is at your fiance's. Even if she says she doesn't want one, if she isn't the one to enforce that with her sister you won't be able to enforce it.

    Just my 2 cents

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    Strippers are not "necessary". And the sister can have that for her party when she gets married or if she already did good for her .

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    Platinum Member Andrina's Avatar
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    "I'm the male and I don't want one. My fiancé says she doesn't want one either but her sister thinks it's a neccesary thing. She claims she will turn the stripper away or leave if one shows up but my fiancé hates confrontation"

    After reading this, I would suggest that the both of you have a sit down discussion with the sister. Ask your fiance, in her sister's presence, what kind of party she'd like. Tell the sister that it's about your fiance, not her, and that she's stressing you both out about her idea of a stripper.

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