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Thread: Have a awkward question?

  1. #11
    Platinum Member Liraele's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Queenmarie24
    I have always been insecure my whole life. I've been abused and molseted as a child so that messed me up pretty had I am in therapy for this though.
    Considering that, do you think this is a good and safe step for you at your present point in coping with having dealt with those things in the past? Or will it cause triggers, etc?

    I'm all for exploring with your significant other, and it's OK for your tastes to change. Considering your history, however, I can understand why you're hesitant. Might be worth talking to your therapist about, too... as there could be something sparking your current interest that you haven't even though of yet.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    Watching porn and infidelity don't have any causation link. I wouldnt worry about that. People might try to show a correlation but that doesn't prove anything.

  3. #13
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    Porn doesn't cause people to cheat, especially when used as a means to increase your sex life with your partner. I think you should approach him and tell him you would like to watch together. I understand it can be nerve-wracking because it's uncomfortable, but trying your best and being honest will be enough.

  4. #14
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    [QUOTE=Pleasedonot5;6889141]Porn doesn't cause people to cheat, especially when used as a means to increase your sex life with your partner. I think you should approach him and tell him you would like to watch together. I understand it can be nerve-wracking because it's uncomfortable, but trying your best and being honest will be enough.
    Thanks everyone

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  6. #15
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    [QUOTE=Liraele;6889126]Considering that, do you think this is a good and safe step for you at your present point in coping with having dealt with those things in the past? Or will it cause triggers, etc?

    I'm all for exploring with your significant other, and it's OK for your tastes to change. Considering your history, however, I can understand why you're hesitant. Might be worth talking to your therapist about, too... as there could be something sparking your current interest that you haven't even though of yet.
    Yes I understand it might trigger some things! I see your point as well. It's just I wanted to change the taste up a little bit idk what made me change my views on it, but something did, however I think my partner might be hesitant as I was always against it our whole relationship and always told him it was a deal breaker.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member thealchemist's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Queenmarie24
    Yes I understand it might trigger some things! I see your point as well. It's just I wanted to change the taste up a little bit idk what made me change my views on it, but something did, however I think my partner might be hesitant as I was always against it our whole relationship and always told him it was a deal breaker.
    There is nothing wrong with having a change in perspective.

    I know that the first few times I did watch porn with my wife it was a little weird. Just it being something I've done solo for so long and then having a person join in is a bit of a transition.

    I was worried I would be overly criticised about what I picked out, since she wanted me to pick it. Or that she would get mad at me for watching, lol. After a few times that all went away though.

    I would recommend being very cautious while bringing it up. If you have been anti porn for this entire time it will throw him for a loop. He might even think it is some kind of trap.

    I would say that you should be very chill and not criticise anything during it. If you don't like something I would just say you want to try something else as opposed to saying you don't like it.

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