Girl with avoidant personality?

I've started dating this woman a month ago. I'm a lesbian woman and she is one who has been in a longterm rs with a woman before which ended due to her ex girlfriend cheating. She then started dating guys only, stating she was too hurt by this woman to ever trust a woman again.

Nonetheless, we met on a dating app, started chatting. We have a lot in common and our first dates were great. However, something seems off.

Have you ever experienced someone say they are into you or like you but you're not feeling it from their side? I am fond of her but I am not convinced she actually likes me, unlike what she says.

Why? Because she has been flaking for a few dates now. Because I cant come to her place (she says she is embarassed for it, doesnt like living there), the rs has to be kept secret for now because she finds it difficult to explain to her family she is dating a woman again. She sometimes is very sweet in texts but then I won't hear from her for a day straight. When I compliment her she can't take it and laughs it off as though I'm joking - and it makes me feel like a stupid teen running after her.

She is online in whatsapp all the time but doesn't talk. She says she is going to bed but continues being online for hours. I know for a fact guys text her all the time with hookup proposals and wow does this make me feel insecure.

It seems I don't trust her, and I don't know if it's my own insecurities kicking in or there is something genuinely off about this girl.

I did try confronting her about it a few times but she is a master in avoiding the subject. She states this has to grow and she does really like me.

I feel like I am losing my mind. What to do about these mixed signals?

Go with your gut. What does it tell you?

To me, it really does not sound like you are projecting your insecurities in this case. What it sounds like is she is keeping you at arm's length so she isn't hurt again. Walls walls walls. Or maybe she's manipulating you. Could go either way.

As for when people don't take compliments, I have found success saying "take the damn compliment lol" jokingly, whether in person or over text. I'm not suggesting you try it, but it tends to work for me lol 😂

Re: avoiding the subject, I suggest just bringing the in-person conversation back to the topic. Ask direct questions in a polite way.

A month isn't long, but she does seem to have issues. From past experiences, I think it's best to take things slow. She's still basically a stranger.

Generally I'd avoid people that have baggage like this though.