My Boyfriend Is Abusing Me

Hello everyone, I am being emotionally abused by my boyfriend. I suffer from bipolar disorder and need some empathy and nurturing sometimes. He refuses to give it to me. He mocks me when I cry, says “awww, you poor baby,” and uses very harsh words. After sex, there is no cuddling. I am insanely attracted to him physically due to his big, muscular physique. The attraction is very strong. I also enjoy it when he is dominant with me sexually, and when we engage in s&m. But outside of the bedroom, I do not like to be abused. He has hurt me before physically when we were not in engaging in an s&m session. He is very critical of me and puts me down often. He himself has nothing spectacular going on in his life! Lots of people have told me that I’m beautiful and have a lot going for myself. Is he trying to destroy me? My drug abuse has gotten terrible lately due to my strong desire to escape. I do this behind his back. He has a drinking problem, by the way..Any advice would be very much appreciated! I feel like I’m going crazy here!

I think you know what you should do, though I know it is hard. You should definitely leave this guy. It's good that you can recognize that his treatment of you is abusive and that you deserve better.

I promise you it is possible to find a guy you are just as attracted to who will not abuse you. One of my exes was really emotionally abusive, and it took me a while but I did leave him. It is the best thing for you. Do you live with him or do you have your own place?

I engage in S&M with my current boyfriend, but outside of sex he is very kind and nurturing to me. I never thought that was possible to find but it is.