My mom wished death on me

My mom has said some very mean and nasty things to me and I can't seem to get past it.

it's really bothering me because I knew If i had a daughter I would never wish any wrong on my child.

the reason she's done that is she doesn't agree with my relationship and the person I chose to be with because he has children.

regardless if she agreed or not, she said she wished that he would murder me or put me through the worst treatment.

she wished my eyes would bleed out and that god punish me.

(long story short, I was in an arranged marriage) I didn't want to be with this person and this person knew that.

it's not like i was playing both fields.

that wasn't the case. but for my mom to go as far and wish that I die and serious harm come to me i can't get over this.

I feel like any relationship we once had is destroyed.

I can't begin to imagine what kind of nasty minded person would do something like that just because they don't agree or see eye to eye with someone.

she is very religion and when she went before the altar in our home and prayed that I punish I think i finally saw the evil in her. I can't come to grips of how terrible she is.

if I had a daughter and she did something I didn't like i wouldn't pray for bad to fall upon hee I would guide her and always be there for her. ever since this happened I want nothing to do with my mom...am I wrong?

there is a lot of hostility between us, and I can't seem to speak to her because I feel like she's non supportive and vert controlling and negative influence in my life.

I can't find it in my heart to feel sorry for someone who wished death on their own flesh n blood or even has those type of thought mad or not! just because you're angry doesn't mean it's ok to pray for vengeance at an altar or ask for bad to fall onto someone. and she has done this many times.

...... am I wrong for feeling this way?

I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. So sorry.

And this is the crazy sh1t that religion does ...however , as we are not allowed to say things like that , I will stop before I get your thread closed down .

 

You make sure you stick to your word and when you do have children this will make you one of two things ... an abuser or a wonderful mother and you keep on the right path and make sure your kids never have to fear the wrath of God in any way ...I have a feeling you will be a beautiful mum .

That's absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry.

 

There is someone who I have had to have contact with for work who said some things which showed so much blind hate , like this, in the name of obedience and their beliefs. It had to do with a man who was nearly hit by an older woman who was driving. He was upset and reported it to the police. This person I know flew off the handle , saying he deserved to be in pain and to die because he 'spoke poorly of' an elder. She didn't agree with him saying anything because 'in my culture, you don't do that'. From there, the hate spewed out with her saying he deserved to die for it , when I dared to disagree with her.

 

Yet this is your mother! I am so so sorry you have been subject to her abuse.

...... am I wrong for feeling this way?

No you're not wrong but you should keep in mind that your mother has been brain washed to the way she thinks. Consider yourself lucky that you aren't a victim of an honour killing for going against family.

 

What has your father/brothers said about your choice(s)?

my dad just agrees with her because he sees it as an embarrassment to him that I don't want what they want.

he also doesn't agree with who I actually want to be with and to make things easier he sides with my mom.

he agrees with everything she says and to defend her he said the only reason she says this is because she was angry/upset with me over my poor choices she didn't mean it.

my question is, how can you NOT mean it if you went to an ALTAR and swore on God's pictures and wished for me to punish etc etc..?

how do you not mean it when you go to the most sacred place known to man and swear before God and ask for that? such Bs. I don't buy it.

thank you it's been really hard looking or even speaking to her after that... I will never subject my kids to that.

I don't have any brothers just one sister and she's not very supportive. she expects support but doesn't offer any in return. this entire time she has refused to speak to me and been an absolute two faced person. she would tell my mom everything I tell her. fast forward few months later and karma is a b---- because her husband is divorcing her and she's now calling me non stop for moral support and financial help.

I would just remove myself from someone's life who wished that upon me. Why have such an evil person in your life?

 

I grew up in the South and have had to deal with a lot of crap growing up because of my religious choices. My wife and I had family that refused to go to our wedding because of religious reasons. Those people aren't my family anymore.

my dad just agrees with her because he sees it as an embarrassment to him that I don't want what they want.

he also doesn't agree with who I actually want to be with and to make things easier he sides with my mom.

he agrees with everything she says and to defend her he said the only reason she says this is because she was angry/upset with me over my poor choices she didn't mean it.

my question is, how can you NOT mean it if you went to an ALTAR and swore on God's pictures and wished for me to punish etc etc..?

how do you not mean it when you go to the most sacred place known to man and swear before God and ask for that? such Bs. I don't buy it.

So, what will you do then, Shania?

currently looking for apartment

Are you divorced from the man you had been arranged to marry, or did you reject marrying him for the man with children?

 

And this is the crazy sh1t that religion does ...however , as we are not allowed to say things like that ,.

 

arranged marriage is a cultural issue that is practiced by a variety of cultures rather than specifically religious. There are plenty of people in those same faiths who marry for love while still being in the same religion or don't marry at all. people do it more because of familial pressure than anything

I'm not divorced from him, he won't comply in giving me a divorce. I did file separated when i did my taxes though.

hopefully when i figure myself out I can get a divorce on my own. I did chose the guy with kids over the one I am married too. It's not a real relationship. at this point I'm just working on myself and getting myself together.

My life is a total mess. it's hard to explain without people pointing fingers and making it seem like this is all my fault. while I do take responsibility for my actions I don't feel like I'm to blame for this entire thing happening.

I'm stuck in a crazy situation and I really just want to get far away and be happy away from toxic people and negativity.

if you read my previous posts you'll understand.

it's so much to explain... I have been falsely married for 3 years. and I chose not to be in it. I want happiness but I'm also in this very abusive relationship that I need to get far far away from. I've managed to stay away from him n keep my distance and I just want to live peacefully. my main concern is my mental health with all of this happening. I don't want to be abused and put down and I guess that's why I have been posting here. I wasn't sure if I was just immature or if things were actually the way i was seeing them. sometimes our minds and ability to think are blocked because of our situations. I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. the stress causes so much physical pain also. I've been so stressed for 3 years it's taking it's toll on my body.