Did I make the right decision?

Been out on 3 dates with this woman and I noticed that in between all of those dates, she never contacted me first whether it was text or phone. But she did respond to all my text very fast but just never reached out first. So I decided to move on because I felt like a 2nd option. What do you think?

Hmmm you didn't like what you were getting, so you moved on. Sounds alright with me. Are you having second thoughts?

The "not texting first" thing is sometimes one of those "buzz strategies" that girls (guys too) sometimes believe. I don't know why. I don't think many of us guys would mind being texted first most of the time.

If she is responding fast then she is interested in you.

Have you brought the subject up about her initiating some texts?

If she is responding fast then she is interested in you.

 

Have you brought the subject up about her initiating some texts?

No I haven't brought it up. I don't want to give off that insecure vibe

Since she is responding quickly I wouldn't think she's not interested.

People routinely misread what others mean with their texting style.

You should put more clout into how you felt with her on those 3 dates.

She is probably waiting to get a text from you offering another date.

Maybe a strategy you can use is to tell her IN PERSON on your next date--that you would like to try a situation where she offers every 4th or 5th date. Cause you like her. (Like that.). It can be anything. She makes you dinner, go bowling, have a picnic, go for a hike, go to a mountain and find constellations. Whatever.

No I haven't brought it up. I don't want to give off that insecure vibe

Its not being insecure.

A lot of women have been told not to text guys first because it looks like we are chasing them.

If you are both interested in each other then a quick chat about how you would like to receive texts from her should alleviate these issues.

most women are taught not to text first but instead to warmly respond. If she is doing that, keep pursuing her. she wouldn't reply and she wouldn't accept your dates if she wasn't interested at least to continue getting to know you.

What it comes down to is what is important to you. If you want a relationship that you feel is 50/50 and that you both "chased" each other, then yes, you did the right thing.

Some people don't find it as big of a deal and they think its the norm for men to chase women. I don't think that's a good thing or normal. I think like you do, that both parties should be showing interest and making efforts and it can't or shouldn't be all one sided.

I personally agree with your decision. I know others will have different opinions but again, it's your perspective on it and what matters to you.

I don't like the princess scenario. Men want to feel wanted every bit as much as women do and now a days, texting takes very little effort.

I think you overreacted. How old are you?

Most women in the initial dating stage prefer for a man to reach out. You barely know her. It wasn't like she was unresponsive.

I think you overreacted. How old are you?

 

Most women in the initial dating stage prefer for a man to reach out. It wasn't like she was unresponsive.

In my 30's. I was getting that used feeling but wasn't sure since she always responded to my texts. So it was all so confusing mainly because I am used to a woman reaching out first sometimes if she is interested

Money, it is only a text. How is it that you could possibly be used? Are you ready to date, or still looking for a friend?????

When you start dating it will be more reciprocal. If you like this girl, reach out to her. Do you ever call, or only do lazy texting - which is boring.

The next time you see her, tell you would love to hear from her. She will like that. You need to be more vocal with people.

I think you should address some of the hyper sensitivity in situations that apply to you.

It's funny, because when these types of situations arise, you do not respond to other's feelings - I read you post about that the family member who was depressed for two days.

How can you fault her for playing the dating game if youre playing it too?

I don't think you should throw the baby out with the bath water. Weren't you just on here complaining you would never ever ever meet anyone because online dating was stacked against you? Now you meet someone and you're mad she's doing what's almost expected of her?

I think you're making this dating thing a whole lot harder than it has to be.

How can you fault her for playing the dating game if youre playing it too?

 

I don't think you should throw the baby out with the bath water. Weren't you just on here complaining you would never ever ever meet anyone because online dating was stacked against you? Now you meet someone and you're mad she's doing what's almost expected of her?

 

I think you're making this dating thing a whole lot harder than it has to be.

Look at his history. He finds every little excuse to bail. I don't think he really wants a gf.

Definitely liked you. I am the same. I don't text first. Now you mention it I will change it. The reason I don't is probably old fashioned. I let the guy lead. Also I don't like texting much and feel I'm interfering with his day which is daft I guess. I always reply fast and that's because I really like a guy.

hi,

does it really matter who texts who first ?

after all she is responding quickly so it doesnt seem to me she's in some weird mind game.

just keep the relationship going, unless you dont like her. in that case bin her and move on.

Did you at least tell her you have decided to move on ? I hope so , or she will be another one sat wondering what the hell went wrong !

I do the same it's probably childish but I always let this guy I really like text and call me. That way I know he's not busy and I have his time I don't want to bother him. My friends tell me I should contact him also but I like to know I'm on his mind little do he know I always want to talk to him and I look at my phone all day to wait for his name to pop up 😍 . But if we were to get serious I will call and text him.

If I'm always the one to initiate communication first, in this day or ultra communication and connectivity, then I get bored. I like to feel that the girl is thinking about me too, and not just playing the passive role. I have spoken to girls about this over the years, and usually gotten the passive response: 'I didn't push your hand away when you tried to hold my my hand, or when you went to kiss me, I didn't stop you.' However, this passivity doesn't make me feel wanted by the woman.

Did you tell her you're moving on, or did you just stop contacting her?

If you told her, then you've burned that bridge because she didn't impress you enough, and what anyone else thinks about that is irrelevant.

If you've just quit contacting her, then apparently neither of you is impressed enough with the 3 dates to keep things going.

No harm, no foul, and I'd just move onto the next person.

Dude consider yourself lucky.... try dealing with a girl that replies back in 1-3 days AND never initiates then you'd view your situation under a different light ;-)

In your situation I'd just say only contact her when you're trying to put in a date/ meeting request.

But if you've already been texting her then a sudden & abrupt change to not texting her can signal to her that maybe perhaps you're trying to play games with her.

I don't initiate contact until after 6 dates. I know that's weird for younger generations. Now if she didn't text back right away, and I mean a day or days later, you are not a priority. But she's texting back right away. Not sure how she's saying she's not interested.

Money, it is only a text. How is it that you could possibly be used? Are you ready to date, or still looking for a friend?????

 

When you start dating it will be more reciprocal. If you like this girl, reach out to her. Do you ever call, or only do lazy texting - which is boring.

 

The next time you see her, tell you would love to hear from her. She will like that. You need to be more vocal with people.

I call her and set up the date and text. I noticed she never contacts me first. She just answers my calls and responds to my text. Never experienced anything like this before

If I'm always the one to initiate communication first, in this day or ultra communication and connectivity, then I get bored. I like to feel that the girl is thinking about me too, and not just playing the passive role. I have spoken to girls about this over the years, and usually gotten the passive response: 'I didn't push your hand away when you tried to hold my my hand, or when you went to kiss me, I didn't stop you.' However, this passivity doesn't make me feel wanted by the woman.

Thank you. Its too one-sided

I know it's one-sided, but it does show if you like her or not. As much as men want to feel validated, women want to feel desired too. It's like planting crops. As much as we think we need to have immediate gratification, like I plant a seed, and it's suppose to started showing roots right away, it doesn't, and not suppose to. The girls who aren't needy or desperate, generally won't initiate for a few dates. But once it starts growing, she will, and plan them, and even take turns paying them. She has a ton of friends also telling her to not text in the beginning. So, don't worry about it. If you like her, like her. If you don't like her, then don't ask her out again.