Struggling

I have posted previous threads about me and my now ex. But again last night after I'd finally heard the truth from his feined, I sent a heartfelt email explaining all to him calmly just as he has before. I received a nasty one back clearly stating he was hurt by stuff but didn't say what.

I've trie to keep myself busy, I'm sure my friends are sick of it but they are really worried about me. I can't eat or sleep properly, he was my best friend and still don't have proper answers from him. I know he's struggling with his career and is nearly at the end of training. I feel so low, I've had counciling and tried better myself (had grief counciling following two deaths) but still he seems to hostile towards me. He's never been this way towards anyone and we were so close to one another. He's got anger and temper issues I know that, he won't seek help for it though.

All I wish for is a conversation to my face about it all like two mature adults

He is hostile toward you because you wouldn't leave him alone after he repeatedly asked you to. Every contact you make diminishes his desire to contact you back. I know it's hard not to keep in touch with him (Believe me, my heart is breaking every day I don't get to talk to my ex), but no contact really will work in your favor.

Just think about it...you're doing the same thing over and over and you're getting the same results. You contact him, he's short with you...I mean, do you really expect that doing the same thing would yield a different result?

Back off him. Go NC for 30 days. When you're not emotional and nuts, talk to him. There really is no way around it.

He wrote a email the day before which was fine. Not hostile. Then I heartfelt wrote all the points his friend told me which were so trivia as to why we split. Then I just mentioned why be friends with all my family and friends on fb and liking posts when he can't even speak to me properly....and bam total hostile response! I'm sorry but he was like towards me months ago, then he broke down crying, then shut up shop again. But months ago I felt it was amicable and was just moving on until he came crying to me! So I backed down. It is really hard because the small reasons he told me why we split wasn't true st all but he made me feel so bad about myself. Now I've found out the truth which I deserve the truth but from him. It's hard to go from everything for 4 years with someone to this when you were best friends too! He said he'd never be like this so why do it?!

You're living and clinging on to the past, without realizing your actions since then have likely influenced how he feels about you NOW. Heck, one month ago, my ex and I were texting each other every day, he was sending me pictures of us when we were together, talking about possibly reconciling. And now? I haven't talked to him in 1.5 weeks.

What truth are you trying to seek? I think you should really seek out ongoing professional help because you just refuse to listen to anyone, especially your ex.

His friend spoke to me thankfully someone whose mature enough at our age and told me we split because of his family. She told me he was hurting and that it was because of the rift between me and them. She said it was getting to him too much and he didn't like the side of him that came out towards me over it. She's said I've never known him to be happier with a girl as he was with you, and he was deeply upset. She says he's feels different now, he misses the good bits but that it all dragged on too long the rift. But I said that nonsense I tried sort it with them so many times so many times. He didn't invited me stuff then did etc so how was I surposed to know it was getting to him so much?! He didn't communicate to me properly. In April/may he was so nasty and said we split because I said something at Easter. I felt so bad about myself for song long because of it. June he totally breaks down crying to me when I was the one who was moving on. July he then says I will have to get to know and trust you again. This family stuff hasn't come form him but from his close friend. Even she's suggested to him to sit down and hear me out now know all. How the helol was I surpose to fix stuff back then if he acted like all was ok? I offered to meet his family a number of times. If that's not willing I don't know what is. Then bam it goes how it is now and I don't know why! Nothing really really bad happen no cheating ever involved and so on. We've not even had a proper converation about it or what went on etc between me and him he's just holding me at arms length when he was the one who said to me...not the other way round...we've been through too much together to fall apart and not know each other. It's all been mainly over email and texts as he works away during the week training and I think is sitting big exams atm. He'd be the same as me, has before when we've had minor splits. It makes no sense at all the way he is being. Yet his friend indicated to go speak to his family....my sister reckons this is what he wanted a few months ago when things were civil between us and he wanted to work it all out. But because I didn't go to there's that why it maybe why it is now. But if he didn't tell me how was I surpose to know

He has still be emailing me. He's now said he may meet me. He's admitted we had great times but what happened at Easter really hurt him because I was grieveing and it's no way to treat a partner I've explained I've worked through my issues with a councillor especially the grief ( my nana suddenly died I was close to and a friend committed suicide suddenly only burried him the week we split). But he says he doesn't miss the Argo off me or the relationship. I've explained I was in a bad place because of the deaths and I am very sorry. I brought up all the points his friend mentioned and how I've changed to the girl he met and I'm coming back through was just badly wheylaid with the deaths. I've told him how I've improved myself and how if I could do it again I'd do things very differently. I know he's hurt and scared this was obvious from his friend.