Im Scared I Dont love her

11 months ago I Fell in Love with A girl In my Reading Class. I was in shock and I felt as i was struck by lightning and never able to take my eyes off her. This was my first time Falling in love and i had never been in a relationship. 2 Months after then we Started dating and getting to know each other and it was amazing I loved her so so much and I still do to this day Everyday id go running to her Since I am Not allowed to date id love to see her in school and whenever i could on the weekends. We dreaded long weekends and weekends in general the excitement of texting was something I loved.

9 months Fast Forward We are still together however we know each other much more. I Lost the "Spark" i used to have In the Initial time of the Relationship 3 months ago and I have had Intense Anxiety Ever since Every Night since that day i walked to Parent Pickup after walking her to her car thinking "Do I love her? Why dont i have the same feeling" Id cry for hours and nights and id think and think and over think of things such as "Is she the one?" Or "Will we marry" I want her to be the woman i marry. we plan on marrying together one day and having a family but ever since i lost the spark i feel like i dont have the same feelings for her I have Anxiety every day because of the same thoughts and I spend hours researching Whats going on. I at one point looked up "Things he Would Do for you If he Loved you" To see If i did those things to Validate myself on whether or not i loved her. I love her more than anything in the world and i want her to be with me forever. But these thoughts cloud my mind and put negative thoughts in my head and sometimes they get to me and i again seek refuge in looking at articles and comments and forums saying it is normal and then repeating the cycle over and over. However now, I feel as if i have these thoughts even when im with her and i hate it i want to love her like i used to because shes the most amazing person I know. Someone please help me and dont say its time to leave her because thats something I refuse to do.

There's a couple of things going on. You're probably getting cold feet because your logical mind is starting to take over from your emotional mind that has been driving you in your relationship. You're waking up from your stupor. You're wondering what have you gotten into? How am I thinking about getting married? How can we support each other?

You have to ask yourself whether you still like all of the qualities you liked about her in the first place. Are there any negative qualities that have come out during your time dating? Is she still perfect? If everything is still the same, then you move onto the next phase of your relationship where you become partners together rather than just bf and gf.

Now a lot of people break up at this point because they miss having their brains pumped with love chemicals, but this can be the time when you buckle down and really work on making the relationship long-term. You have to figure out whether the lack of a spark is because of this or whether your logical brain is trying to warn you about some negative quality she has.

She Has No Negative Qualities Shes an amazing person who cares for me, doesnt talk to other guys for me Always is with me cares about my family and friends. Shes always there to support me and shes just amazing and i know theres no one like her. I just dont know why im feeling like this How do i we move on to the next phase Please help me i KNOW i want to marry her and I KNOW i wanna be with her forever i dont wonder what ive gotten into i just get scared if shes the one and whether or not i love her which i hate because deep down i know i love her more than anything how do i fix this

Please help me i KNOW i want to marry her and I KNOW i wanna be with her forever i dont wonder what ive gotten into i just get scared if shes the one and whether or not i love her which i hate because deep down i know i love her more than anything how do i fix this

OP, you are so full of contradictions it's mind blowing. You don't know if she's the one. You don't know whether or not you love you. Then you say you want to marry her and you love her more than anything. So which is it??

I would say you are nowhere near ready for a relationship or marriage (with her, anyway) and you really need to be single for a while to get in a better head space before thinking about marrying anyone when you can't even figure out what you want or if you love someone or not.

The Contradictions arent that extreme anymore I know im ready to marry her but the side thoughts just cloud my mind.

Does Anyone Have Any Advice for me? I know i love her i just get scared of losing that Excitement Feeling from before

If you have faith in your love with her then stop questioning it and just basing it on a FEELING. Just go with the rhythms...if you are together too much then this can kill the novelty. Don't make each other the sole source of each others "happiness"

Thank you this helped alot anything else to keep me in strength?

How old are you Spellaccio?? You said you are not allowed to date, so your in Junior or High School? Welcome to the first pangs of love, you are way to young to think of marraige. The initial feelings of romantic love do change over time, love is a choice and commitment you make in the long run to stay together no matter what you or she is feeling at the moment. You are to young to make that choice and commitment, you and her will change a lot over the coming years and in my opinion that is why you don't make that commitment very young, because you are stuck with it. I think it can work for some, but not for most. I think there is nothing for you to do, just keep going and see where this leads. I would say try to tamper down the "love" and "marraige" thoughts but I know that is near impossible. In the end either way this will be a learning experience for the future.

im 16 and I love her so much yet i have anxiety sometimes because i overthink whether if i really do love her because of the initial feelings of excitement fading

The initial feelings of excitement you have in a relationship will ALWAYS fade. Always. That's why it's called the 'honeymoon period'. Once they've faded, you can both start to see each other clearly, because before that you're living in a hormone-fuelled fantasy where the other person can do no wrong and you overlook incompatibilities because you're feeling overwhelmed by romance.

So, to be realistic - when the feelings of excitement fade is when you're really starting your relationship, really seeing the other person clearly. There will still be times when the excitement comes back, but not in the way they do at the start of a new relationship. Unfortunately, there are people who think that they've fallen out of love when the adrenalin rush stops. This is not the case, but the tragic thing is that they can end good relationships because they think the spark's gone - in search of another adrenalin rush, which will inevitably end the same way.

At 16, you're wayyyyyyyy too young to be thinking about marriage. Enjoy being young and finding out who you are!

There's a lot more to love than excitement.

How well do you know this girl?

Thank you so much its been getting better but i still have some crazy thoughts sometimes like i dont love her that just pop into my head even though i know i do i know her very well and im close to her family we talk about the future and we are very intimate both emotionaly and physically its just the inital feelings wearing off that have me on edge and freaking me out

Not to be rude but you're still a kid...when you're really in love even when you are already 20years together you will still feel that excitement...I think what you feel for this girl is just infatuation and not love...