My sister contacts my adult daughter too much

This sounds trivial but its bothersome. My older sister is contacting my grown daughter way too much - sending lots of texts and emails and being very chummy. The weird thing is she has 3 grown kids of her own, husband and grandchildren and now she appears to be moving in on my daughter -- who already has her hands full with 2 really little children and job. I was a single mom, and now granny ... and my daughter is all I have. This is starting to make me nervous.

Though I am friendly with them, I could not imagine texting her sons or daughter the way she does mine. I haven't said anything.

Any advice?

Is your daughter bothered by it?

I don't know I think it would be nice to have an aunt who gave a crap . I never had one who gave a crap so I think it might be nice .

Is your daughter annoyed with the level of contact? She is an adult and if it bothers her, she could ask auntie to back off a bit, but be polite about it.

My love my neice and nephews. Why is it so bad their aunt loves them and keeps in touch regularly? I would love it if my brothers took my kids out regularly.

Is your sister mentally ill, or your daughter is unhinged by her contact? If neither, not sure why you are worried. Ah, I reread your post. Just because your daughter has formed healthy relationships with other family members, you are still her mom, and that will never change.

I guess in my family becoming adult friends is normal among assorted relatives, especially close aunts and uncles. As mentioned above, it's nice to have people in your life who give a crap. That said, no aunt would ever replace my mother. The idea is a bit absurd to be honest.

I really think you should enjoy your life and focus on being a happy grandma instead of allowing these kinds of insecurities and jealousies ruin what you have built. Self fulfilling prophecy and all that. Nobody is moving in on your territory. Your daughter will always be your daughter and you will always be Mom (with the capital M). Nobody can ever move in on that or take that away from you. That said, your daughter having friends, be it your sister or others, that enriches her life and you should be happy for it.

My love my neice and nephews. Why is it so bad their aunt loves them and keeps in touch regularly? I would love it if my brothers took my kids out regularly.

 

Is your sister mentally ill, or your daughter is unhinged by her contact? If neither, not sure why you are worried. Ah, I reread your post. Just because your daughter has formed healthy relationships with other family members, you are still her mom, and that will never change.

I wish I lived close enough to my brother to so that he could be a regular part of my son's life . And I could be a regular part of his daughters ' lives .

And like everyone says no matter what close relationships you make in your life noone ever replaces your mother .

How do you know about all these texts and emails anyhow?

Regardless, I guess it's fine and natural to be a little jealous, particularly if you don't have as friendly of a relationship with your daughter as you wish you could. But I'd be real careful. You're creeping into awfully petty territory.

is it your issue or your daughter issue?

Has your daughter complained?

If its your issue, then there isnt an issue.

Your daughter is an adult.

why does this make you nervous?

Everybody is family.

I think your daughter is lucky to have such a caring aunt. My father's sister always treated me like a stranger. I don't feel any love towards her at all.

Geeze, I've been contacting my 85 year old aunt on a regular basis (she's the last of 11 girls... my mom being one of them). I hope her daughters aren't "starting to feel nervous" over the attention I've been giving her. O.O

It sounds like you might be jealous. Why not start talking to your daughter more?

I don't let my sister interact with my daughter but my sister is a drug addict, stealing felon. So that is a legit reason, doesn't sound like you have anything like that.

Why do you think it is inappropriate?