Threesome fantasy

Im looking for advice. My husband and i have been together for 10 years, we have 3 younger children together. Recently, for fun we had a game of truth or dare over text going while he worked night shift. It came up that his ultimate fantasy was to have a threesome with two women, he wants or fantasizes about have sex with 2 different women in same setting. I immediately was against it, but he through out different scenarios where he wouldnt have to sleep with the other woman too. We discussed many scenarios, and honestly turned into a hufe turn on for us and our sex life drastically improved since, however, i have told him the talks, the use of it as foreplay is fun, but i dont think i could actually do this. He tels me its ok its just a fantasy and he doesnt want to lose me, hurt me, or anything. But then before a day can go by, he is bringing it up again, now hes tellung me he would like another couple that way i could have sex while he has sex with the other girl. I dont like this idea either, and i tell him only for him to bring up other possibilites. I love the way we got closer sexually because of the talk , but now i feel like im inadequate or not enough that he wont stop making up new scenarios. Just trying to figure out what to do. I dont want our sex life to go dull over it, but i dont want this fantasy to take over either. I feel like if we were to go through with any scenario of involving anyone else, id hate myself for it, id hate him for it and i dont think id ve able to gwt passed him even fondling another woman. But at the same time i dont want to fall back into a boring slump like i feel we were in before this topic came up.

Any advice?

Don't do it for real ...ever..... It is crystal clear you are not up for real life wife swap ! It will ruin you , you will never get over it . There are obviously some couples who can do this ...I would say they are in the minority . Each to their own , you certainly are not a lesser woman for not wanting to physically share your man .

 

Fantasising verbally as foreplay is wonderful for a couples sex life , I have had loads of people in my bed with me before now...just make sure you have rules ..one of those been no one you know . I went out with someone who wanted me to pretend my friend was there .. I was disgusted and it went downhill from there .

It is a tough one, most on here will obviously tell you not to go through with it, but whether you do or not you opened up an issue in your relationship that should probably be dealt with in one way or another. You opened up the door to this fantasy and your husband is probably testing the waters to see how far he can take it. He is being honest with you, at the very least you owe to be honest with him. What works for some people may not work for you and the other way around. If you are going to be in it for the long haul you have to expect that you both will grow and change, just like you both were not the same people 10 years ago, I can guarantee you will not be the same 10 or 20 years from now. I think successful couples recognize that fact.

I think you need to get out of your own head about feeling insecure about something that is (at this point) strictly role play. You've explained to him that you're not willing to do it for real so that's that. Don't let him talk you into it. Don't let him bully you either and you can do that by shutting him down whenever he brings up your role playing advancing to the real thing. Have strong boundaries in place and if he tries to cross them after you've told him under no uncertain terms are you going to open your relationship, then you should really consider leaving him because if he doesn't respect your monogamous nature then you're with the wrong man.

I strongly DO NOT recommend you participate in an orgy when you are in a very committed relationship. It is a guarantee that it will destroy a marriage. You can't afford that when you got three kids. I knew someone who participated and thought they were open about it... but later realized it wasn't for them, but the damage was already done. They essentially lost the marriage over a One night thrill.

 

Plus you have NO idea the other people you bring in are clean. STDs are not worth it.

 

Your marriage vowels are committing to each other, nobody else. Follow what you said on that day.

 

Fantasies are just that... fantasies. They are not meant to come true. He should of never brought it up. If he really insists on it and isn't willing to let go, then he should of never gotten married. He passed up that opportunity and he needs to live with his choices like an adult.

I agree with the others: Do not do this.

 

I know a guy who left his wife for the threesome girl. He is now married to that girl.

 

I have a friend whose then-boyfriend drove her into engaging in sex with multiple partners, and it drove her mad.

 

I don't have a good answer, as I would unfortunately feel that he's never going to be sexually fulfilled. My concern is that he's likely felt this way your entire marriage, but only now has the courage to bring it up.

 

Look, a threesome with 2 W/1 M is nearly every guy's fantasy. Key word: fantasy. They like to view this in porn, they like to think about it. But doing it, when in a committed relationship? Quite another thing.

I wonder how he'd feel if Op asked him if he'd do a MMF threesome? O.O

I wonder how he'd feel if Op asked him if he'd do a MMF threesome? O.O

 

I asked my exBF about this (the one I have threads about). He was always turned on by the FFM threesome, and that was his porn choice. I'd often joke....ok, let's have a threesome! And he'd get excited....until.....lol.....I'd say it would be a MMF one. Nope, he did not like that at all.

 

He used to say "It's not natural". Seriously?

I also heard about someone who left their partner after having a threesome. I really believe there is no "casual" in sex. People do get attached....

 

A fantasy is a fantasy....I'd say a lot of guys have the same fantasy, but don't actually go through with it.....

Tell him it hurts you.

Come up with new fantasies and steer it away from this one. Surely you can think of a few!

If you are not comfortable with this, and I mean, "100% rah rah lets do this!" which you CLEARLY aren't... DO NOT DO THIS.

 

This will poison your marriage. Tell your husband, sorry, but if this is a path you really need to go down, you're going to have do it... without you, because you cannot follow. And tell him please do not bring it up again while you are still married.

Yes. My wife felt the same but then a friend was over and we joked and they we into it and it started as a flirting thing. At first my wife wouldn't let me have sex with them but then after while we both pretend it's another of my wife. Then it turned amazing. She'd have me have sex with her friend while I stared at her and she watched and pretending she was watching me have sex with her. Then it turned more. We the girl and I would just concentrate on my wife. I'd have sex with my wife while the girl massaged her or ate her out licking us both. Plus when they moan it's like my wife is moaning twice and it makes me feel great bc the more one moans the other does. It's like we are sharing our love and loving each other more. Now it's the opposite my wife gets giggly and excited when she finds new girlfriends to bring us bc it means that she can see me have sex with her and then both and no girl can please me like my wife. Surprisingly it's made our relationship so strong I now can't even look at another girl that's no where near amazing as my wife. Plus my wife and now share more and even have fantasy lists. I ask her what she likes and what she thinks. Plus the girl when both their breasts are together it's like a mirror. My wife also loves showing the girl what I like and likes her to try as much as she can like a competition. Lately my wife says she loves feeling me getting the other girl to cum and feeling it on my and going in her. It's pretty amazing and like I said even though I thought I already loved my wife now I dream of her everyday and the girl is no longer an above sexual exp just a fun play. And every girl we've been with let us make vids to keep and remember them by so we can watch them when were alone. I watch the movies and we will ask each other questions like what we were thinking or what we want. It then is like a turn on and makes us excited for the next adventure where I can here my wife moan twice. Hope this helps. Be open and talk and love each other more than the world and things will be amazing beyond. Oh... And the shy part it tough u recommend just asking a friend over and make a few jokes and laugh and just be straight and ask if they would like to join you for fun. You would be surprised.

Mine has always been the other girl is like a double of my wife. I love watching them bc we can both please my wife as much as possible like me kissing her while she eats her out. Plus my wife pretends out friend is another her and she can watch us and it's like she can see me and her while I'm still starting at her. I love my wife more than anything and now I can't look at another girl thinking my wife is better in every way. Now shell invite a friend over and starts joking and flirting and feeling the girl out. And it makes her feel great that no matter how much the girl will try she can't please me as much as she can. And alot of our friends will let us keep vids of them to remember them by and it's fun for my wife and I to watch them and ask each other questions like what we like or what we were thinking. My wife now says she loves the moans when they are both moaning and they sound just alike and knowing she can kiss me on the lips and somewhere else. Love your wife more than anything and she will love you. It turns fun and exciting now I never know when I'll go home and what to expect.

At first it was weird for my wife and I... But after the first time it's like having a duplicate of my wife and we can please her in so many ways I couldn't do myself. Same thing my wife pretends the other girl is her and shell watch us and loves me watching her and she feels like she can see what it looks like me having h sex with her. Now we can't even help it shell now flirt with girls for the next one knowing no one can please me like she can. And it just makes her love me more and shell even try and show them how. It turns really cute. And the girls are good friends and even let's us keep vids of them so we can have something of them when were alone. It's super sweet and like our little secret and we'll watch a movie and ask what we were thinking or how it felt. I love hearing them moan at the same time it's like my wife is all around me and I'm pleasing every part of her body.

I told my wife I don't like guys... They are nasty to me but I love her more than anything and if that's what she wanted if do it bc if give her anything. She gave me a shocked look and a girl and says meh I like girls better anyways and there is no guy like my husband. Then she called a friend that she knew liked me and was in the car with her and was just like. Um.. would you like to be with us? Lol it was funny I was so quiet and the friend was like sure! Lol. It was sweet. I was nervous buy then I started to imagine the other girl was a copy of my wife and my wife pretended the girl was her. All of a sudden she wanted me to be with the other girl while she watched and I watched her. It was like my wife could see me and her. It was amazing. My wife then loved it. She loved it kissing the girl and feeling like it was a mirror and I could kiss her while the girl ate her out. Then she also loved it when the girl would lick me and hen her while I was going in my wife. Then when I had both the girl and my wife together I'd slide into one then the other and they would both start moaning and it was like I could please my wife in every way. I hope this helps but now my wife likes it more and can't wait. We even have vids the girls would let us have and we'll watch them and ask questions to each other like what we were thinking or what did we like. It's now super fun and when I thought I couldn't love my wife anymore than I already did. Now... Wow.. I can't even look or talk to another girl and they are nothing compared to my wife. Now it's q game to my wife to seeing if anyone can please me nearly as good as she can. When I have the girl on top of me. I just want to kiss my wife so bad and eat her out while she watches me go into her at the same time. So hope this helps but I understand we were the same way but I'll tell you now we just have a hard time finding more girls bc our friends are now in relationships and we don't do it with anyone with a boyfriend bc then the boyfriend gets upset or tries to join and gets hurt when we say no. But every now and then I can tell what my wife is doing when she flirts with a girl a little and it's super cute. I've even walked in my wife watching a video and I didn't stop her I hid and watched and it was amazing.

It made ours amazing. It's like my wife had a duplicate of her. Plus she pretends the girl is her and she can watch us while I watch her. At first I agree it was weird but then like Everytime it hot hotter and hotter and I could please my wife in more ways than I ever could. I could kiss her while she was being licked. The girl could like me and her at the same time while I made love to my wife. We could my wife and the girl moan when I went in each one other and over on top of each other and it was like two of my wife as they started moaning together while I could feel one and then put both me and the other girl in her. Now she loves feeling the other girl and even tries to get the other girl to please me knowing they can't do it as good as she can. Plus we have vids they let us keep to remember them by and I've even snuck my wife watching them and seeing us. She now willask me what I liked and if the girl did something different we could try and now I look at every girl or talk or they will flirt with me and non can make me feel tehy are anything near my wife and if I'm interested it's just to be able to massage my wife while the other girl eats get out and shell want me to go behind her and make her happy knowing the girl can never have me. And I love to please my wife to the point she can't stand it and shell want the girl to sit on my while she'll feel both of us with her hand. I love feeling my wife. I hope this helps but for us it's opened more of us than anything and now it's almost like a funny sinful tease game and shell call a friend knowing we are going to please her as much as we can. Now it's like us giving love to someone else and sharing a taste of what we have for each other. I've come home and my wife have a friend who is shy and will have me kiss the other girl and massage her while shell slowly then start kissing the girl. Almost every time the girl gets super excited to see my wife watching them kiss me and then they'll will then get undressed anfy wife will eat her out while I'm kissing the girl and then we will swap. We will massage her then like I said I'll have the girl and my wife on top of each other and now I have a double of my wife and I will make them both get an orgasm and feel it while Im pushing in both and the loader their moans the more I feel in pleasing my wife in every way. We had a lesbian friend who had a crush on my wife. So we talked to her and let her and my wife cuddle kiss and flirt while I eatched. Then the girl started to love watching us and then wanted me to give her what my wife felt and that made my wife even more teased. So what started as uncomfu for us at first. Now... Like I said its like a game and I just want to make my wife feel everything and show her how much I love her.

If you are not comfortable with this, and I mean, "100% rah rah lets do this!" which you CLEARLY aren't... DO NOT DO THIS.

 

This will poison your marriage. Tell your husband, sorry, but if this is a path you really need to go down, you're going to have do it... without you, because you cannot follow. And tell him please do not bring it up again while you are still married.

Yes, pushing someone to do it its not the right thing, things will not be great if both are not connected to do the same