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Thread: Feel like i am going crazy due to my gf and her ex husbands relationship help!

  1. #1

    Feel like i am going crazy due to my gf and her ex husbands relationship help!

    So I have 2 children from a past relationship and my current partner also has 2 children from her previous relationship. We both identify as lesbians. I am civil with my childrens dad but its strictly just kid talk and buisness stuff. My partner has a completely different relationship with her ex husband and it makes me very uncomfortable to the point i feel jealous and crazy but i am not sure if these feelings are valid and i should be worried or if i am over reacting? She told me they divorced over 2 and half years ago but for the first year he was trying to get back with her... ( he cheated on her). He is now engaged to a new girl who he lives with and my gf lives with just her children. From the day i stepped foot into her house i felt uneasy... i felt like there was a mans prescense (weird i know...you know like a straight vibe) but dismissed it. I noticed she had photos of her ex still up in her house and i mentioned it and she said it was for the kids and its their family etc... didn't think too much but i was still uncomfortable... her ex husband added me on fb pretty quick and his partner.. we have now been together for over a year and things seem to irritate me more and more. She moved the photos of her ex to the kids bedrooms as it really got to me...after i asked numerous times... she has no photos of me in her house at all or of my children. I then noticed she still had an xbox avatar profile for her ex husband... i asked her why that was still there and she said she didn't know how to get rid of it ( which i thought was utter bs because i worked it out in 2 mins and i don't even own one). They talk through text msgs, fb chat, calls and they go to the childrens appts together as a family... we all go to the childrens sporting events together and during this time they always sit right next to each other which makes me feel like the third wheel... he gets so close that he seems to "acciedently touch her leg and stuff when trying to grab their son etc just the other day we left this event and they walked off both of them holding the kids hands.. so one kid then the ex then another kid and my partner... all lined up together... me and his partner walked behind them.. i felt super angry and jealous because they looked like they were still together... am i over reacting? He annoys me so much. He is constantly tagging her in fb memes and posts and has even replied with xx at the end.. .. i am at mt limit and don't know what to do... she gets very defensive as she wants to maintain a good friendship with her childrens dad but i feel as though she is using them as a bit of an excuse.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member indea08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    At the end of the day, your boundaries are your boundaries. Tell her you don't want to be in a relationship where you feel like you're competing. Tell her you understand that a good relationship is necessary but X, Y, and Z are crossing the line for you. If she argues, or gets defensive, you have to know to just walk away. There are plenty of people in the world who don't have an intrusive relationship with an ex, and if you MAKE her change her relationship with hers, she will just resent you.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member charity's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    I don't see any cause for concern. Everything you mentioned seems to be for the kids happiness and benefit.I would say they are doing a good job of being co parents. Of course there will be photos of the kids dad up in the house, I would think it strange if there wasn't! And you've had them moved to the kids bedroom! I find that in itself very insecure and selfish.

    Are you guys together long? Other than this feeling abut her ex, how is the relationship going?

    Edit: I've just seen that you guys have been together a year. I really find it very strange that you expect she would put photos of your kids up in her house.

  4. #4
    Yes you are overreacting. I am constantly accused of having a relationship with my kids dad because we get along and we talk...about the kids! It's ALL about the kids between us and it makes me so mad when my gf tries to make it more. It's been like this with every GF, yall need to chill. We chose you for a reason and they are an ex for a reason.


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